About a year ago we had new people move into the house opposite. From what we can make out they swapped houses with some relatives, who went to live in a smaller property on a nearby farm.
They seemed a nice enough bunch, though were quite standoffish when we tried to chat to them.

The dad/granddad is your typical Devon farmer type, sun-weathered and taciturn. There seems to be a collection of children and grandchildren who come and go at irregular intervals, with sometimes up to 5 or 6 cars on the drive and road outside, plus the aforementioned tractor, and currently a caravan!

The dad/grandad seems to commute to his farm by tractor, and leaves at about 4.30 am every day, and returns at about 10.30-11pm. This in itself is bloody noisy, as he starts it up, and leaves it running for 5 minutes or so before he drives off. However, due to the ridiculous amount of cars they have in front of the house he often has to play vehicular musical chairs to get his tractor out, as often one of the kids/grandchildren will have blocked him in. Or when he gets home at night they haven’t left enough room, so he leaves his tractor running on the road, moves a couple of the cars, then moves his tractor onto the drive.

Our bedroom windows (and those of our 3 year old) over look their drive, and the noise has been even more noticeable with the current hot weather and having windows open. My heavily pregnant wife is not happy about being woken up every evening and early morning either!

Now, I’ve tried having a sensible chat with him. The first time he listened and then just walked off without saying anything. My wife tried talking to his wife, but she was really rude back, and said that we don’t understand, not being farmers (I’m originally from a small village near Oxford with 5 farms, and my wife grew up on Exmoor so we are more aware than most!).
Then next time I tried to speak to him I got told to ‘bugger off’.

So, help me out….WWSTD? 😉

Couple of things I can think of:

I suspect he’s probably filling his tractor with red diesel, so do I dob him in to HMRC. Would they actually do anything?

I don’t currently own a set of bombers, would some old Pike 426s do?

He’s pretty scruffy already, so weeing in his shoes will have minimal effect.

Tyre nails.

Failing that, a chat to your environment dept at your local council to raise an issue about anti-social noise may well be in order.

Sounds like you are dealing with the local Clampets, can’t seeing you getting a win, you are already marked as trouble making townies.

noise complaint to local Environmental Health, keep a noise diary.

issues
1) your neighbours will know it was you (with whatever fallout that gives)
2) it will appear in a search if you sell.

I’d say if he’s operating a commercial vehicle then he needs to avoid antisocial hours 11-7 if he’s using it privately then as you say the red diesel might be an issue.

It must cost a fortune to commute by tractor. In time & diesel.

There is no debating with somebody lacking in such critical reasoning skills.

I suggest you wee in his fuel tank.

how is it commuting to his farm in a tractor, surely just driving his works vehicle (which he uses while farming?) to the farm?

What’s the rest of the area like? are you like on a normal residential street with loads of other houses or are you like down a lane with just a few houses or maybe just you and them?

Tractor commuting? Red diesel. Customs.

Shop the tax dodging ****

More likely to get him done for putting red diesel in one of the other vehicles, pickup etc. than an agricultural vehicle used for agricultural use.

how is it commuting to his farm in a tractor, surely just driving his works vehicle (which he uses while farming?) to the farm

If you’re driving to and from work then I class it as commuting! They have enough cars which he could use. I suspect it’s a mixture of laziness, bloodymindedness, and tightness (if he’s using cheap fuel)

It’s a residential street on the edge of a small East Devon town, houses on both sides, pavements, streetlamps, a primary school 100m up the road. So not in the middle of nowhere! I think the farm is about 3 miles away.

Um, aren’t tractors allowed to use red deisel?

My heavily pregnant wife is not happy about being woken up every evening and early morning either!

She soon won’t need a tractor to do that 🙂

yes, red diesel is fine

aren’t tractors allowed to use red deisel?

yes, for commercial purposes.

Um, aren’t tractors allowed to use red deisel?

They are but you can only use a Red-Diesel-fueled tractor on a road for short distances and only between parts of your own farm. You’re breaking the rules if you use the vehicle to travel on the road to other destinations, even other farms. Even in between bits of your own farm you’re only allowed a distance of 1.5km on roads

PICTURES PLEASE

Tractor Trumps – South Glos Rules 😉

Um, aren’t tractors allowed to use red deisel?

Pretty sure you can only use it on the farm or place of work. If you use the vehicle to drive on roads you’re breaking the law. Unless you’re just crossing the road to get to another part of the farm, etc.

^Death by pretty bullets?

I can’t see a way round it. You’ve tried the nicey nicey approach and that’s failed and you’re probably not a knuckle dragging thug willing to go round and threaten him, so it looks you’re left with ‘suffer it’ 🙁

They can use red diesel. But ONLY for agricultural/forestry operations. Even mowing the school playing field as a favour would require white diesel to be used (recent case where farmer was fined for just this). Commuting certainly would be looked on as non-agricultural use. Once or twice a year if it was due to a local job making it more sensible might be overlooked. But, day in, day out, would not cut it with HMRC.

I hope those are earplugs ^^^

Otherwise, it looks like you’re suggesting that the OP beats an elderly farmer to death with brightly coloured sex toys.

Hmmm, I might go down the HMRC route then. He’s been a dick, so I have no qualms about dropping him in it. Though guaranteed they’ll think it was me if anything comes of it 😕
All the other neighbours are old and retired. I’ve chatted to a few, and whilst they find it annoying none of them want to ’cause a scene’.

Otherwise, it looks like you’re suggesting that the OP beats an elderly farmer to death with brightly coloured sex toys.

Maybe he’s suggesting I use sexy-boom-boom to cheer him up before asking him again to not drive his tractor around at all hours.

does he grow beetroot? Steal and eat some, and then wee in the fuel tank and he’ll never know it was you

Maybe he’s suggesting I use sexy-boom-boom to cheer him up before asking him again to not drive his tractor around at all hours.

Maybe….but that wasn’t the vibe* I was getting.

Dildo-slap all the way.

*see what I did there?

Sorry for confusion, I meant bribe him with rhubarb and custard sweets.

One of our old neighbours used to bring his tractor home from time-to-time. Out of a farm environment they are fricken huge and I think even the most inconsiderate person would soon realise they’d made a mistake. We never said anything but having a tractor on the drive is just one step away from being sectioned.

Fortunately like most neighbourhoods we have some vigilantes – he’s retired from ‘the force’ – and they spend their retirement tut-tutting at inconsiderate parking, barking dogs and of course people who commute by tractor. After a week or two of getting The Look Mr. Tractor started using the car like everyone else.

From what we can make out they swapped houses with some relatives, who went to live in a smaller property on a nearby farm.

Are the houses privately owned, or are they housing association tenants? If its housing association it might be worth having a word with them about anti-social tenants.

Mr. Tractor started using the car like everyone else.

He’s an ex tractor fan.

He’s an ex tractor fan.

Well played. 🙂

You could employ a freelance magician to make the tractor turn into a field

This is so much more interesting than doing my companies house returns.

This is so much more interesting than doing my companies house returns.

You’ll plough through them eventually.

Ha, my father in law does this. Keeps his tractor at his house, and then drives it to wherever he’s ploughing/bailing etc .

He also does his weekly sainsburys shop in it.

Sorry – cant help the OP, but I suspect if anyone complained to him about it, he’d just carry on regardless.

IME, farmers can be quite bullish. Even the arable lot.

You’ll plough through them eventually.

Harrowing!

He’s not going to change, he doesn’t give a toss about what you want and he’s not going to listen to reason. The only helpful suggestion I can offer is http://www.rightmove.co.uk.

Or you could put up with a few minutes of diesel idling noise a day and display a shred of empathy for a chap who sounds like he works 100hr weeks to put food on the table for his family? If he’s saving a tenner a week by running a bloody great tractor on red instead of a Peugeot 106d on white, I’d be surprised. And if he’s commuting by tractor to save a tiny bit of cash, then he deserves sympathy not malicious shopping to the tax man. Honestly.

Buy a Harley, that’s the internationally recognised standard for being a noisy bellend.
Feel free to start it up and time of the day or night and give it a few blips so everyone within 3 miles knows your having a mid life crisis and you enjoy all things tasseled and leather.

That I’ll teach um and their farmery ways.

Contrary to most peoples belief the countryside is a giant food factory not an idyllic “darling buds of May” retreat for IT professionals and the retired.