a few of my mates have died in the army but this one has thrown me off http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1263873/Off-duty-soldier-dies-Edinburgh-rickshaw-accident.html

he was one of my best mates and to die in a way like this has thrown me off.

whats a good way of dealing with situations like this??

shaun

whats a good way of dealing with situations like this??

There isn't one really mate. Just stay composed and don't hit the piss too hard after the wake. Condolences to the family.

Sorry to hear about your mate, Condolences to you and his family.

There isn't one. Only time. Sorry to hear that.

The best advice I was given was to go with the flow, emotions wise. It can be a bit of a roller coaster. I had 2 mates take me to Ibiza a good few weeks after my sister died, and it was OK but then I had a right break down on the beach around 8pm when I was just sat on my own. A couple of strangers just came up and they were very supportive. Believe me, in difficult times it often brings out the best in people, even strangers, so as I said, my deepest condolences, and try not to hold things in. I also had a good friend of mine die in the Paddington train accident. A lot of my colleagues were in that as I was working in Slough at the time and quite a few commuted in on that train. While it does not ease things if I tell you that others have been through the same, in time it does get better, and just know that a lot of people feel for both you and his family.

thanks all.

One of my school mates was blown up by an IED in Helmand a few years back. It numbed me for a few weeks. It'll get easier, ditto what simon said.

Shaun accidents happen,sadly your mate died,but like ive said to lots of other people who have lost a freind or family member, you still have the memories of him , what you did together,etc.

Youll feel anger, hatred and that horrible sinking feeling, all perfectly natural after a bereavement,its time like this you need to talk not bottle things up,have a laugh and try to get on with your life,not easy and it takes a long time.

Been there and still living the sadness.

Also dont forget the poor Pedicab driver,perhaps a letter or phone call to their office to find out what happened and a bit of condolance to the driver.

i lost a brother in a freak accident on a night out. only 19 and a great great guy. at least he was out with his mates having a great time when he went. i hope your mate was having a great one on his birthday.

Sorry to hear that. It gets a little bit less worse after a while. Make sure to write to his parents (if you can). IME of being in a broadly similar situation, the letters meant a lot to my mate's parents, and the ones they really like were the ones that remembered their son as he really was, not the ones that were too formal or impersonal.

Sorry to hear it, really sad. It might be a bit of a cliche, but look after yourself, that's what your friend would want.

simonralli2 +1
Go with it, if you need to cry, cry – you're showing your (man) love for a mate.
Remember the good times and think how he'd want you to celebrate his life not mourn it!
And, once he's been settled, go and have a chat with him, I did that with my Gran and other than being a massive emotional event it was one of the best things I've ever done.
Just remember, religion or not (I have none) he'll be about to listen to you when you need him most.

Shaun, very sorry to hear that, that's awful, but, it says in the article that he was happy, so that's not so bad is it – to die when you're happy? Could you perhaps take comfort knowing he never had to slow down, and didn't die slowly/painfully from cancer or something horrible?

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