Triathlon content so if that offends leave now 😉

A clubmate did a big triathlon race this weekend – the sort where you can track their progress online as they go around and go through interim chip timing spots. He’s newish to the sport and this was his first ironman distance race. He’s not very good, but gone from very overweight to just a bit overweight, but he’s keen.

He completed the race inside the cut off time, just….only snag is he clearly cheated, or at the very least cut the course short by, ahem, accident! All going fine and steady and then 3 timing chip points fail to time him. When he goes through the next timing point he has apparently travelled the last 90km 10mins faster than all the pros in the field at a pace a lot of club roadies could not maintain for a flat 25mile TT and this was hilly terrain. He’s probably skimmed 1hr 40mins off his time which would mean he would have failed to finish inside the cut off. I don’t know if he sat in a bush (2 lap course) and jumped out later or took a short cut on the 2nd lap.

These sorts of events at that end of the field are clearly just personal challenges rather than races. If you choose to cheat, well I guess that’s up to you. And as such I’m not sure why I’m bothered. I wouldn’t be but he’s all over the club’s Facebook site extolling his performance and gently ribbing another clubmate (who is another league faster) whose bike split he beat.

It would be cruel to publicly ‘out’ him as a cheat (it really is blindingly obvious if you know what you are looking at in the results, not just a guess that might be wrong) as his wife and family are all over him with how proud they are and tbf not my place to do so anyway. I’m toying with having a quiet word when I see him at the weekend with a nod and a wink and recommending that coming over all ‘riding god’ will get him found out and he should become a little modest and coy, or just smiling from afar at the plonker he is making of himself!

The best bit is his wife wants to buy him a Cervelo p5 as a ‘reward’ for doing so well (I need a new wife!) – it’ll be amusing what excuse he finds when he is an hour and a bit slower than he was this time on his current Boardman!

Won’t the people who he’s teasing not notice that he’s pulled a fast one as well?

In which case, let them out him. Anyhoo, how has his result stood if he missed three timing points? I assumed you’d get a DNF if you miss points at which your chip is “sensed” – at least this is what has happened in road races I’ve done (only running mind, dunno if triathlon timings differ), or was it not that sophisticated an event?

EDIT: Oh hang on…

How about “You give me the P5, and I’ll say nothing…” 🙂

Very sophisticated event with live video feed etc etc. Chip points do get missed through kit error and that’s usually OK as it can happen but 3 in a row – beginners error level of cheating! I’m not sure how much they care about the validity of the results at the ‘cash cow’ end of the field (the other end had Emma Pooley racing in her first event back as a triathlete) but the results are still provisional so he might still get DQ’ed.

I could let the other bloke(s) out him, but to be honest I’d like to save him a bit of public embarrassment as he’s not a bad lad.

How about “You give me the P5, and I’ll say nothing…”

Blackmail – why didn’t I think of that! 🙂

Oh, I see. Do you reckon he knows himself that his time is wrong? Surely he does…

Maybe a quiet word. Or a “My god, have you seen your bike splits? Amazing time mate, can’t quite believe how you’ve pulled it off, but by jove, you have! If the times weren’t there for everyone to see…”

I’d like to save him a bit of public embarrassment as he’s not a bad lad.

Not really sure how this can be avoided if the splits are available and as you say.
No one will believe him…how he reacts to this is his issue

Maybe a quiet word. Or a “My god, have you seen your bike splits? Amazing time mate, can’t quite believe how you’ve pulled it off, but by jove, you have! If the times weren’t there for everyone to see…”

+1 or tell him Lance wants his drugs back…

Don’t worry there’s this race in France where it’s ok to cheat unless you get found out….leave it for now

Its a dangerous drug cheating. Leave him too it. He’ll over reach himself. Others will see his current riding/question the disparity.

How come you can see this, but he and his team mates can’t or haven’t?

Cheats that are right down the field are odd aren’t they. Funny when you see someone have a crafty look before popping under the red and white tape.

out him & then realise you are the one that has made the mistake, I always find this is the best way to win friends & influence people

I predict he will retire citing some injury and never show his face again, used to happen in enduros all the time, someone would come in and do something amazing that was suspicious and never be seen again.

When atre the official results published?

How come you can see this, but he and his team mates can’t or haven’t?

You have to click beyond the headline figures on the race results and look at the interim check points and be prepared to do some sums. I only noticed because I was tracking another friend who was miles (literally) ahead and then suddenly they were much closer. But when someone does the first lap of 90km averaging 23km/h and the 2nd 90km on the same course averaging 45km/h and does not trigger all the interim timing points for the whole lap and beats Emma Pooley (ex Olympic silver medalist and world time trial champ) over that lap by 23mins it is pretty obvious! Maybe they have worked it out and are just very diplomatic! I’ll find out on Saturday.

Who gives a shit. Leave him to it.

Who gives a shit. Leave him to it.

You are probably right. I have no urge to ‘out him’ for the sake of it- apart from anything it’s quite funny to watch in a car crash kind of way! Just pondering a quiet word to stop him making a prat of himself.

Maybe they have worked it out and are just very diplomatic!

Or maybe they’re readying the Bombers? 😛

I’d square that you are not the only one to figure it. If he is on a bragging-spree then those who are hearing his tale of triumph will get their calculators out too.

I’d let him take his medicine.

This always makes me giggle–you could email your clubmate the link with the message ‘Discuss’ 🙂

He will get found out, as other people will go through the results and cotton onto this, there are a number of threads on the triathlon forums outing people, maybe an idea to have a word

Chris

I’d be having a quiet word with him personally.

I cheated in a race once – completely by accident.

MTB XC race (years ago) and I was on a very new bike with what, as I was discovering, were RUBBISH tyres. Punctured early on in the second lap, pulled it to one side of the trail and fixed it in a right rush, ballsing it up all over. Finally got it pumped up, wheel back in, looked around and there were riders going past me still so I jumped back on, chased for all I was worth. Finished, packed up, went home thoroughly pissed off.

Next day a mate rang me and he said “OK, how come you finished 9th?”

I was like “WTF, I was off the back, I punctured!”

Turned out that where I’d punctured was an out and back section of the course and I’d dragged the bike right into the middle of it, fixed it and then got disorientated, seen the riders going past and just thought “that’s the course”. I was in a total rush, very flustered and just completely messed it all up, turned out I’d missed most of the second lap and jumped back into the race right at the front of the field!

So I phoned the organisers and quietly explained it, they pissed themselves laughing. This was in the days before chip timing but they said they wondered why I’d done my first lap in 25 mins, my second in 15 and my third in 25. Was pretty obvious! 😳

It may be that your mate simply didn’t realise he took a wrong turn or he could have intentionally cheated. I’d talk to him before outing him all over Facebook. If he denies all knowledge in spite of the evidence against him, then out him as a cheat. 🙂

Won’t the people who he’s teasing not notice that he’s pulled a fast one as well?

This.

Plus start big’ing him for the next one saying ‘how well he did in the last one’ and watch the pressure mount, start dropping in that you’ll be scrutinizing his progress throughout the event etc…

I would be publicly ripping the piss out of one of my mates if they cheated like you think this bloke had

Plus start big’ing him for the next one saying ‘how well he did in the last one’ and watch the pressure mount, start dropping in that you’ll be scrutinizing his progress throughout the event etc…

I Like it – act all unknowing and just gently stir the situation with lots of praise and awe and watch how he handles the pressure of performing at the next race (with his fancy new bike) knowing he’ll have to chip 1hr 40 off his true bike time just to stand still.

I’m now stuck between this and blackmail – and to think I was just going to out him. How dull would that have been!

If he did honestly make a mistake (I’d imagine that I wouldn’t exactly be thinking straight during the second half of my first ironman either!) then accusing him of cheating is going to make you look like a bit of a dick in my opinion.

I’d have a quiet word with him along the lines of “it looks like you went the wrong way by accident”. If he blusters, blushes, denies and gets narky then he knows that he’d cheated and you can then happily slag him off/blackmail him/get the bombers out/piss in his single-strap shoes with a clear conscience.

If he did honestly make a mistake (I’d imagine that I wouldn’t exactly be thinking straight during the second half of my first ironman either!) then accusing him of cheating is going to make you look like a bit of a dick in my opinion.

Yes, need to be charitable and look for legit possibilities if only because he’s being so brazen about it you would think he’d be keeping his head down if he had knowingly cheated. He had a very slow swim so there might not have been many others around him to follow so he could have unknowingly gone wrong. But it was a closed road course with about 20000 spectators. There is one place a bit into the lap where you could could have turned and rejoined the lap near the end but you would have been going from a closed road course with spectators, flags and banners, through a little town and back onto the course missing out all the iconic climbs that are so renown. Surely you’d notice?

Perhaps people started to congratulate him before he had a chance to come clean and it snowballed from their, and before he knew it he was in so deep he didn’t want to come clean.

I’d still out him in some way.

Not a bad bloke who is taking the piss out his mates after cheating? That does not compute frankly.

The hole he has dug is his responsibility not yours, (if you are correct in your assessment).

If you really want to do him a favour have a quiet word in his shell like and then hand him a spade.

“He’s not very good”

Not very good ??

So he swam 3.8km… biked what? Just the 120km (rather than the 180km it should be) then finish with the small matter of a marathon.

Yeah he’s rubbish 😯 … doubt all those on he saying out him could do that… cheating or not.

“but gone from very overweight to just a bit overweight, but he’s keen.”

Don’t mess this up for him …. doesn’t sound like you are intentional planning to, mind.

Maybe he knows he’s cheated and will do another one to prove to himself he can do it…. and lose a shed load more weight in the process.

Anyway … if you are not cheating, you are not trying

I’d publicly take the piss that how the f did he manage to beat Emma Pooley when he’s a chubby bloke ;-)….

Have a quiet word and point out he appears to have beaten Emma Pooley, give him pause for thought. Seems a strange kind of event to deliberately cheat in as its all about personal goals unless you’re a podium contender, so he’s cheated himself. I don’t know him but is it not more likely it was some innocent error, I’d be gutted to realize I had compromised what should have been a great personal achievement- in effect NOT completing my first ironman.

Munqe chick is harsh but she’s training for a half iron so seeing red!

You could post up the average speeds for the three disiplines for all club memebers – in a “well done all” sort of way.

If his bike leg really is unfeasonably fast people can draw there own conclusions without making any overt accusations.

Might be worth doing this BEFORE he splashes out on an iron man tattoo 😀

Sign him up for Oprah

“Might be worth doing this BEFORE he splashes out on an iron man tattoo”

Nah … if he gets an M dot tatt he deserves anything and everything you throw at him

I don’t know him but is it not more likely it was some innocent error, I’d be gutted to realize I had compromised what should have been a great personal achievement- in effect NOT completing my first ironman.

I know what you mean. As someone mentioned above he has come a long way and lost 4st for this event which was a great achievement in itself and I’d like to encourage him. But if he carries on then gets outed he’ll have made such a tit of himself that he’ll probably disappear out of embarrassment and go back to pie munching!

You could post up the average speeds for the three disiplines for all club memebers – in a “well done all” sort of way.

You would have to put the individual section splits up as his overall bike split was still not that great because he was soooo slow on the first lap. Could be done but still feels a bit cruel.

Might be worth doing this BEFORE he splashes out on an iron man tattoo

He’s talking about it! I could suggest he gets one with a bit missing from one of the legs 🙂

Anonymous email account. Start with “I know what you did last summer” or somesuch. Have some fun with him in a non threatening way.

So he swam 3.8km… biked what? Just the 120km (rather than the 180km it should be) then finish with the small matter of a marathon.
Yeah he’s rubbish … doubt all those on he saying out him could do that… cheating or not.

The time limit’s about 18 hours isn’t it? You could walk a marathon comfortably in 7. The swim is 2 doing breaststroke. That leaves 9 hours to ride (less than) 112 miles.

Not taking away from the achievement, but it doesn’t make him a stunning athlete!

Weird. I’d be all over my split times like a cheap suit, just to see how I’d done on various bits. So I think I’d know if there was something funny about a lap.

Tbh I’d leave it. Like you say he’s now got to get a hell of a lot faster just to stand still.

or send him out with the fast guys on a club ride, ie the ones who are going at “his” speed.