Mid life crisis « Singletrack Forum

Chat Forum

[closed]

Mid life crisis

37 posts & 30 voices | Started 1 year ago by coffeeking | Latest reply from oldgrump08

Tags:

No tags yet.

Pages: 12 Next »

coffeeking - Member

It strikes me a as a slightly stupid phrase. Fortunately I'm not there yet, but hearing people say things like "mid life crisis car" or "the bike cost how much, trying to be 20 again are we?" angers me a little. It seems to me that it's just a spiteful jealousy comment. Generally people, when young, can't afford to buy a ferrari/fast bike/expensive mountain bike and have other priorities. By the time they reach their "mid-life" they have probably gotten far enough through their career to be earning decent cash and have some spare time. They may have got past the stage of having young kids that need round the clock maintenance and just want to have something they couldn't afford when they were younger or didnt have the time to do.

Why does this constitute some sort of crisis or immaturity, or a bad thing? Are they not just doing something they always wanted to but couldn't for other reasons? Isn't that just following a dream, achieving things they wanted to. Shouldn't this be cheered rather than jeered? Strikes me as idiotic that when a woman does something similar she's classed as being brave enough to strike out and do something she wants, breaking from the norm, but when a bloke does it they're having a crisis and should be pitied. Very odd.

Posted 1 year ago #
cycleworlduk - Member

and breathe!

Posted 1 year ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

I doesn't always mean mid life crisis - but often does. Its a difference between buy a nice vehicle cos you can and you want it and buying the same vehicle in a desperate attempt to recover lost youth. so its not what you do - its what your motivation is.

Posted 1 year ago #
GrahamS - Member

Jeez, someone's HRT isn't working

Posted 1 year ago #
zaskar - Inactive

Projection of their thoughts about themselves maybe?

Just ignore them. Besides people live longer and do more things.

(18 till I die!)

Posted 1 year ago #
IanMunro - Member

Why does this constitute some sort of crisis or immaturity

At a guess because a mature person might recognise that the the purchase of an object may not bring the joy that they dream of. Of course it's a complex area where any form of generalisation is pretty pointless.
But yep, it's an interesting point you make about how the genders are treated differently though.

Posted 1 year ago #
coffeeking - Member

buying the same vehicle in a desperate attempt to recover lost youth

Do we ever grow up really? Or does responsibility and mundane life just overtake our dreams and wants? I've always liked fast cars, MTBing, scary sports, doing mad stuff. That doesn't change as I age, I just get society assuming that I should be more boring as I age. So it's not really recovering lost youth, it's just being the person they've always been but are now able to express it IMO? (I'm 29 btw, not midlife afaik! Or on HRT :D).

At a guess because a mature person might recognise that the the purchase of an object may not bring the joy that they dream of.

But a thoughtful person might realise that that object is what the person has always wanted, and as such brings exactly what they want. It might not fix all ills, but who is anyone to assume that maturity = wisdom? Sure that person might sit back and say "money isn't everything, I'm happy with my family and friends" - and that's fine, but maybe that person has a happy family/friend life too and just wants a fun car, or that classic car they always wanted etc etc. Theres far too much judgement and assumption.

Posted 1 year ago #
davidrussell - Member

generally I find all the cool stuff you really wanted only becomes accessible with more money i.e. once you are working you can afford it. so its much more likely you'll see "older folks" buying sports cars etc.

Posted 1 year ago #
iDave - Member

for me the cool stuff is doing things not buying things. after a huge adventure last year, my daughter said, 'Dad, that's what your life used to be like, isn't it?' would i like a maserati? yes. would i buy one? no. i'd rather spend the cash on a trip to patagonia

Posted 1 year ago #
Edric 64 - Member

I still want a Fireblade at 46 and one day when the kids have gone I will get one .Im to crap on a bike to do it justice but it will happen one day

Posted 1 year ago #
Cougar - Member

I always thought "mid life crisis" was meant to imply some sort of second childhood. Baffles the proverbial out of me, cos at 38 I'm still enjoying my first one.

Posted 1 year ago #
Kit - Member

Theres far too much judgement and assumption

And you're guilty of assuming that everyone's the same [as you].

Posted 1 year ago #
oldgit - Member

Mine if that's what I had was kind of the opposite. When my kids were young I kept promising stuff to myself when they got older.
What happened was the opposite. I did start to get a few things, but was disappointed as they didn't deliver what I had hoped (whatever that was?) The other thing I didn't like was the extra care required to look after my bling parts.
What happened was a clear out. Amongst other things three cars became one, and my bike collection was paired down to a road bike I race, a cross bike I race and an MTB I race. Basically the things I do or did became more important than the things I owned i.e racing is more important than the bike.

Posted 1 year ago #
sockpuppet - Member

"the bike cost how much, trying to be 20 again are we?" angers me a little

i'm often amazed by people being so bewildered by the amount of money i'll spend on a bike: it's routinely less than a year's depreciation on their car. my car (being worth essentially nothing) has ceased to drop in value.

this does not go well when i point it out - i may stop doing so.

i enjoy my bikes more (i suspect) than they do their cars, and certainly don't buy one every year. my last was the result of to years' saving.

Posted 1 year ago #
coffeeking - Member

And you're guilty of assuming that everyone's the same [as you].

True! But I like to give the benefit of the doubt, while many choose to judge.

oldgit - thats fine if the things you want to do don't require "things", some do. Some people enjoy that fast motorbike touring holiday, or get their weekends enjoyment from the act of driving a car they always wanted.

What I mean by this is it's each to their own, if you like long holidays and experiences then enjoy them, if you enjoy fast cars and bikes, enjoy them too. People should stop somehow assuming that someone wanting a fast car is having a crisis or somehow less of a man for wanting to own a nice vehicle, as though spending your cash on experiences is the "right thing" to do.

Posted 1 year ago #
BigJohn - Member

I seem to have missed the whole mid-life crisis thing. And it's a bit late for me to start now. Unless I'm planning to live to 114.

Posted 1 year ago #
rOcKeTdOg - Member

i think you are taking too much notice of what other people think, if you want to buy something/go somewhere etc etc and can afford it and it makes you happy who gives a F*** what other people think/say, life (even to the mid point) is too short

Posted 1 year ago #
coffeeking - Member

i think you are taking too much notice of what other people think, if you want to buy something/go somewhere etc etc and can afford it and it makes you happy who gives a F*** what other people think/say, life (even to the mid point) is too short

I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about the spiteful and apparently generally accepted views of people about those who do buy/do/start crazy things when they're "mid life".

Posted 1 year ago #
rOcKeTdOg - Member

what i posted still applies to them too

Posted 1 year ago #
MrSalmon - Member

I think 'mid life crisis' is a term only used by people who aren't used to doing the good stuff and are surprised that other people do, or that people continue to do it when they get a bit older. All the people I know of, say, 40+ who are still getting out there have always done it, now they just have the money to do it bigger/better/further away or whatever. It's only the people that don't get it that need to label it.

Posted 1 year ago #
Mr Woppit - Member

YEAH! RIGHT! MOUNTAIN BIKING! WHAT'S THE POINT?!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fLcsU1TGsI

Posted 1 year ago #
wrightyson - Member

I'm 35 and a fully paid up member of that club and i couldn't give a toss! Fast chav car, bought an expensive bike (to me it was) and the wife has just completed the list for me by massively treating me to a planet ocean! I'm loving the crisis!

Posted 1 year ago #
Edric 64 - Member

I would like an expensive bike and motorbike but always buy cheap cars because I am tight and also poor

Posted 1 year ago #
crikey - Member

You're all amateurs...

A real mid life crisis is when you run off with a woman much younger than you, realise your mistake, end up living in a box room at your Dads house surrounded by plastic bags with all your worldly possessions in, with your bikes in bits behind the chairs in his conservatory, end up on anti-depressants, gradually rebuild your relationship with your wife and kids, suffer years of abuse from the woman you ran off with and eventually end up friends with your wife, your kids and the lady.

Allegedly...

Posted 1 year ago #
mieszko - Member

My mates dad does not have a mid life crisis, he just never grew up really. Good successful business, but from the very beginning in the 80's he had a:
Golf Mk1 GTI, Mk2 GTI 16V, Mk2 Rally, Corrado G60, 106 Rallye, Integra Type R, Volvo V70 T5 and now has a 911 Carrera S. He is a great guy and down to earth type. Some people could probably say he has a mid life crisis when he got the 911, but that was his dream car from very beginning and he just likes good fun cars. No fake tan, not on his 5th wife, etc. I like gadgets and cool stuff as well and I don't really care what other people think. I'm spending my money not theirs so it's not their business. To young to have a mid life crisis, I'm just pretty sure I won't turn into a bitter old man in the end and before that end up in my mums house with dyed hair, some piercings, fake tan and a 2 seater convertible My plan is to enjoy my life

Posted 1 year ago #
samuri - Member

massively treating me to a planet ocean!

Which one did she get you?

The pacific?

By the traditional definition of a mid life crisis, I've had about 6 or 7 I reckon. Red sports car, dirt jumping, skateboarding, entertained illusions of sexual appeal to 18 year old girls, etc, etc.

All of them great. I hope to have lots more.

Posted 1 year ago #
oldgit - Member

When it comes to bikes I've always been tight, looked at VFM and chosen function over form. Plus I love a bit on inverted snobbery.

Posted 1 year ago #
cinnamon_girl - Member

I really don't care what people think! Mid-life has given me a very thick skin - I see folk look at my bike and think WTF is she doing with that.

Do not judge others.

Posted 1 year ago #
IanMunro - Member

Crikey!, crikey.

Posted 1 year ago #
miaowing_kat - Member

yes, mid-life crisis is an odd term, seeing as it's just a transitionary period in someone's life - just like leaving home, 'settling down', retiring etc. etc.

Posted 1 year ago #
scaredypants - Member

Jeeez, it's only a figure of speech

(... well, crikey apart, anyway )

I don't know anyone who's had a mid-life "crisis" though I know plenty who buy flashier cars etc for the reasons stated above

I myself am about to buy an MPV ( ) though I'm also hoping this is the year my caterham comes out of the garage more often, as my kids are growing up a bit

Posted 1 year ago #
buzz-lightyear - Member

You get one life, a life that has many sorrows. It's up to you to ensure it has plenty of joy too. Maybe it's riding a posh bike, having ten children by three wives, or a trip to Patagonia, or racing a flash car, skydiving, muffdiving, playing in a band, or a blonde half your age; whatever.

I pity people getting overtaken by the seriousness of life, especially at a young age, it's unbalanced. I admire older people who have kept their spirit. I'm determined to as well.

Posted 1 year ago #
PapaWheelie - Member

I remember back from first year university where some psychologist said the 40s were a time of reflection.
If your life is going well, you stay the course, if it sucks, you make changes.
And for the record, I second the bit about the gender differences being BS.
The PC types call it a "crisis" for men, but "reaffirming one's place in the world" for women.

Posted 1 year ago #
SammySammSamm - Member

People complain about everything - What does that say about the value of their judgement?

Personally, I can't hear anyone over the sound of the massive outboard motors on my speed boat.
Even on land, my shoes are far too loud.
Life's good, innit?!

Posted 1 year ago #
IdleJon - Member

I'd always understood a mid-life crisis to be a situation where the man in question does things that he should have done when he was a lot younger and less wise, but didn't do, if that makes any sense.

So, if I've always ridden MTBs, surfed, hankered after exotic cars, etc, that can't be a mid-life crisis, by definition.

However, if I went off with a 20 year old, started wearing clothes that a teenager would wear, and started DJing in order to attract 'chicks' (or whatever the young people of today call women) then that might be a mid-life crisis.

Anyway, it's a term more suited to my father's generation. 20/30 years ago most people worked, went to the pub, went home and watched crapola on the TV*, and DIDN'T get muddy in the woods, go to foreign countries to run races, etc. So anything out of the norm for a 40+ man would be a midlife crisis.

"Are you going to sit down with a cup of tea and watch Terry and June, dear?" "Err, no! I've bought a 6" Tek Remedy, and I'm going out to get muddy and injure myself".

(*Actually most people still do that, but you all know what I mean!)

Posted 1 year ago #