"lets get divorced quick, just agree you've been unreasonable..." errrrmmmmm??

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"lets get divorced quick, just agree you've been unreasonable..." errrrmmmmm??

12 posts & 10 voices | Started 1 year ago by timdrayton | Latest reply from TandemJeremy

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timdrayton - Member

long story, but me and the wife have split. we grew apart (ie no adultery) and are supposed to be taking two months apart. out of the blue i receive a solicitor letter advising me that my wifes starting proceedings on the basis that i have been unreasonable.

those who know the story will see the irony... nobody cheated but i have been far far from unreasonable. i am insulted!

I gather from the mother in law that she has been advised that this is a quick method of ending a marriage and that this will have no impact on me financially...

I dont really want to agree that i have been unreasonable, but if i do, will it allow her to sue me for cash now or later?

(there are no kids)

Posted 1 year ago #
loddrik - Member

GET SOME LEGAL ADVICE BEFORE SIGNING ANYTHING!!!

Posted 1 year ago #
Surrounded By Zulus - Member

How about you send her some papers saying that she's been unreasonable, which she clearly has in this case?

Posted 1 year ago #
don simon - Member

I gather from the mother in law that she has been advised that this is a quick method of ending a marriage and that this will have no impact on me financially...

This might be correct but Loddrick speaks sense, get yourself to a solicitor.

Posted 1 year ago #
allthepies - Member

What SBZ said.

Posted 1 year ago #
timdrayton - Member

will legal aid be free if i am bankrupt, but just started work (no disposable income)?

Posted 1 year ago #
don simon - Member

I would imagine Legal aid would be able to help somehow, again ask. Not sure the fight fire with fire approach is the correct one here. Be firm, but no need to be aggressive.

Posted 1 year ago #
MartynS - Member

If you don't come up with a reason you'll have to wait 2 years, living separately before you can sort out the paper work.
If you both agree to "unreasonable behavior" you can have it done in 6 weeks
You really need pro advice now, she has a solicitor and their job is to screw you royally so you need to look after yourself. If she wants out quickly, and doesn't want anything from you is it worth seeing f she'll sign a "contract" to say she has no rights to the finances/house etc if you agree to unreasonable behavior.
If this ends up in court you'll be tens of thousands down, and will almost certainly be forced to sell everything.

Posted 1 year ago #
hels - Member

Never a good idea to sign something that you know isn't true, shurely ? Might bite you in the bum one day. Why doesn't she sign something admitting being unreasonable ??

Posted 1 year ago #
cheez0 - Member

Whos in the hurry for the quickie? If she is, let her agree to being unreasonable.

Its probably academic in terms of the divorce, but if you haven't been 'unreasonable' or 'unfaithful' then why should you say you were?

As with the other comments, get some pro advice,

Having been there myself, tell the solicitor what YOU want and stick to your guns, not agree to what your solicitor has cooked up with her solicitor in order that they can have the easiest life and to fleece the pair of you.

Remember, if it dont feel right and fair, it probably isnt.

In my case, my ex tried to lumber me with a debt I took out on behalf of our household (£10,000) and let me sign for it knowing full well she was going to leave me the following month.
My solicitor tried to talk me into the 'well its your debt because you're the only signee' but i told him that the debt was joint as it was used to pay for upgrades to the house and pay off debts.

In the end she accepted and the ten grand got took off the proceeds from the house before we split what was left.

Good luck m8

Posted 1 year ago #
Junkyard - Member

has she served papers or just saying she will?
Get a solicitor obviously
From bitter experiece if they petition you for this then you have to pay the divorce and their legal fees which means you pay for her to contest your claim - you may win but why risk it. Better to be amicable and agree what is said - offer mediation to do this as well cheaper and better than solictors IMHO
I disagreed with everything said so and then said this in my reply but also said I would not contest as I could not afford to.
Petition her ASAP - tomorrow for example and get out either way.Not like she will change her mind if you get arsey over the reason/s now is it. See if you can get some amaicable reasons for this etc
having no money to split probably helps mine still wont agree to a 60/40 split in her favour + her getting the child benefit and maintenance [from me] despite 50/50 custody

Posted 1 year ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

Get binding arbitration - don't let solicitors create a conflict and take all the money

Posted 1 year ago #

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