Viewing 13 posts - 41 through 53 (of 53 total)
  • kid friendly jokes
  • tymbian
    Free Member

    What’s blue and tastes like red paint? Blue paint.

    seavers
    Free Member

    What do you do if you find an elephant in your bed?

    Sleep somewhere else!

    PapaWheelie
    Free Member

    What do midgets and dwarfs have in common?
    Very little.

    ruminant
    Free Member

    2 dogs in a field
    first ones says “bark, woof, quack”
    Second says “Quack?”
    “Yeah I’m learning a foreign language”

    What’s white and can’t climb trees…. A Fridge!

    Closely followed by

    What’s white and can climb trees … A Fridge with a ladder!

    tenfoot
    Full Member

    “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a couple of wigwams”

    “You’re too tense”

    “Doctor, doctor, I have trouble pronouncing my f’s and th’s”

    “You can’t say fairer than that”

    sas78
    Full Member

    Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

    A: He wasn’t peeling well!

    Scottish one, and my favourite joke:

    Q: What’s ET short for?

    A: Cos he’s only got wee legs…

    sas78
    Full Member

    One from the Andy Cameron show on Radio Scotland in the 80’s, stopped the show for a bit!

    Wee Lad: what vegetable makes your eyes water?

    AC: Och, that’s an easy one- an onion?!

    Wee Lad: You’ve obviously not been hit in the nuts by a turnip!!

    dannybgoode
    Full Member

    What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
    A wonky donkey

    What do you call a 3 legged donkey dressed as a cowboy
    A honky-tonky wonky donkey

    What do you call a 3 legged donkey dressed as a cowboy playing a badly tuned piano?
    A plinky-plonky honky-tonky wonky donkey

    What do you call a 3 legged donkey dressed as a cowboy playing a badly tuned piano with a sexual perversion?

    A winky **** plinky-plonky honky-tonky wonky donkey

    OK I may have just moved outside of the target audience…

    dannybgoode
    Full Member

    What do you call a deer with no eyes

    No eye deer

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs

    Still no eye deer

    jimmy
    Full Member

    Aww beat me to it with this:

    andrewh – Member

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Interupting cow
    Interup
    MOOOO!

    A pal’s wee niece just doesn’t get it “No Uncle Graeme let me finish!!”

    On a similar vein, from Bad Granpa:

    Bad Granpa – Go on, ask me what the key to comedy is…
    Grandson – What’s the key t….
    Bad Granpa – TIMING!! ahahaaaaa

    clubber
    Free Member

    What do you call a grumpy cow?

    Mooo-dy!

    seadog101
    Full Member

    What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

    A Carrot!

    AlexSimon
    Full Member

    What did the fish say when it swam into a wall

    damn

Viewing 13 posts - 41 through 53 (of 53 total)

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