Ooooh… crab paste!!

Pukey not a chance tsy

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R–LzVSDaXM[/video]

family friend went away for a dirty weekend with her husband in an effort to liven things up without worrying about the kids walking in… hired a caravan (classy!)

the first night they turned off the lights and started to get a bit frisky, thinking she’d try and remind him of the earlier years of their relationship she suggested he got some spread from the fridge whilst she freshened up.

she returned to the bedroom and dutifully dropped to her knees… one mouthful and she was almost instantly… sick all over him, covering him and the bed.

he had coated his penis in a rather generous amount of picallily, which it turned out she was allergic to.

weekend spent in a caravan that smelt of sick and a swollen face.

sexy

🙄 😆

Has to be sweet, can’t get jiggy with Homous!!

Alan says you’re all mental…

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AQIm1A70o8[/video]

aero chocolate mouses are a good thickness

access to dixons

Mmmmmmmm mouse

di-IIIX-ons…

The OP has gone very quiet!

Mind you, after the way you lot have been misbehavin’ …

😆

Perhaps he went for a quickie!

Reckon blokes have forgotton how to ‘woo’. Think Elizabeth Taylor smouldering …

Lol, i can’t do smouldering.

Edit: I’m off before I get myself into trouble.

“Tea and biscuits is about as far as we get. oh hows the mendips mud ?”

Wat a funny thread 😀

What mud? DUST I tell ye!

Very quick edit there emma! Made me lol

I just get “the Look” 😆

I read that emma!! nice edit

I know, I wrote it and posted before I gave it proper thought 😳

Sorry did I miss something? I was just watching the news…

I can report, with pleasure, that wooing is alive and well and sometimes works unexpectedly well… 😉

The news is rather good tonight I must say. Goddamit im going to bed (to sleep, in case you ask)!!!

TSY – watching the news whilst eating fish paste sandwiches? 🙄

iDave – can you be ‘Uncle’ to dropoff and share your tips!

watching 10 o’clock live on Ch4

Lauren…. 😳

Think Elizabeth Taylor smouldering …

I thought she was buried, cg, not cremated! 🙁

😆 😆 😆

this thread =

So did dropoff enjoy his quickie does anyone know? He didn’t resurface so technically could still be at it! 😯

if he’s still at it, then technically it’s not a quickie!!

True but he’ll have made up for the lost time! How’s the nuttella supply looking?!! 8)

ummmmmm, depleted 😳 … LOL

may have to run down to the Tesco express on the corner.

Nuts!!

ha, I was going to buy some on the way home but got distracted by the red wine. Wonder if treacle will work just as well 😀

I prefer a cheeky one off the cuff before showering than getting down and dirty.

I’m either knackered, knackered and have work to do, working, or trying to fit in some alone time with myself to keep me sane, going for a ride is before sex just now.

Rumpy pumpy isn’t normally on my mind.

Wonder if treacle will work just as well

sticky and sweet. 8)

get him to do you first though, just to make sure 😳

quirrel? really? do you have a SO then?

Emsz, would def have to go on me, he’s a right hairy git an I’m not lickin it off the hair 😀

quirrel? really? do you have a SO then?

I do. I think I have panda genes.

Last serious amount of humping was 9 months ago, and that is about to be born soon.

I’ve never cared for sex that much though, just one of those things. Interested for the first few months of a new relationship then after that normally not interested.

I think it’s generally after I ask them to wrap me in clingfilm and call me Judy that things go downhill.

lol. Depends how much clingfilm you are talking about 8)

Meh, I suppose some people just aren’t that bothered. What if you want a number two after number 1’s here though???!!! Good to keep practicing just in case you forget what to do like 😆

^ See that is something I’ve wondered about.

Last year Dad made me get a garden shed to keep my bikes in. He got really annoyed that they were in my kitchen and ordered me a shed. I hated it at first, but it has grown on me now. I would like another one now.

I presume the same thing happens with kids.

bikes v kids = ……