When the current Pig Flu turns everyone else into zombies, we are going to need to protect ourselves. Singletrack, we must be prepared.

Here's the rules.

You are allowed 1 weapon.

Said weapon must currently be in the room you are currently occupying, as when the zombies break into your house, you aren't going to have much time to wander about to find your 6-iron.

For the purposes of this study, the zombie is felled by removing the head or destroying the brain, as in Shaun of the Dead.

Remember guys, 1 weapon, from the room you are in right now. Good luck.

I'm in my living room at the moment, so I don't have many sharp implements of any great size. I think i would end up having to use my TV stand, as its the only thing with sharp-looking corners, and could probably lop one or two heads off if I tried. I wouldn't last long though I expect, its a pretty small bit of kit and I would get overwhelmed by the sheer number of mutants.

Over to you.

I'd own them with some Bombers.

I don't have any in my room though, and looking at what's available I'd be in the shit. I do have 3 tall book cases and 2 wardrobes, though- maybe I'd just shove them onto the beggars.

I've got a slate edge T-square in the spare bedroom – will that do?

(mtt – how's things?)

[edit] thinking about I'd use the GF's geological hammer which is in the bedrooom (gulp)

70s style metal office coat/hat stand.

In my room I have a few choices.

A baseball bat.

A cricket bat (classic Shaun choice).

A pace stick (has quite a sharp and pointy end).

A large amount of 12" vinyl records (including an as destroyed in the film first pressing of Blue Monday).

A Kukri (my grandad's from WW2).

Hmmm, choices, choices.

I'm at work so not a huge amount of scope, I think the coatstand would do the best job.

Shaun Of The Dead Game

backed up by these for close quarters

both within inches of me right now. you can never be too careful where Zombies are concerned

I have a large cactus and a swiss army knife

Hmm, looking round the office the first thing that I can see is a pair of scissors, but that's really a close in tool for the pros. Plenty of things I could throw at them, power supplies, scopes, wieghts, computers etc.
I could stab em with a hot soldering iron, or spray em with solvent and set fire to them, which the special effects department would like.
My best hope is whilst it's flailing around from the burning pcb cleaner, is to lob my road rat at it, hope it falls over, and the crush it's head with the big air compressor.
But things aren't looking good.

Mwahahahahha – Chainsaw in the corner. 😀

N.b. any other day and it would be didgeridoo.

Microphone stand straight through the eye should do! If I was at home I have a baseball bat available for such eventualities!

Ninjutsu style I think I'll be making a few pencils / pens disappear through the eyesocket (a la Joker in the Dark Knight)
other than that i'll be the brolly / coatstand (at work)

at home we have the kids stick bin outside the back door – so plenty of bludgeons in there.

I'll use the PhD student from my group.

I've got a Miroku MK70, 12G shotgun locked in the cabinet in the corner, but the key's hidden in a different room as are the cartriges.

Looks like I'm stuck with a computer keyboard, a couple of heavy books and a load of pens…..I'm screwed!

No, wait I've just noticed the curtain pole, but dogs can look up.

Do you want anything from the shop?

Cornetto

It 'aint hiphop…………

The only thing i have to hand is a red pen…

"you've got red on you" ;0)

Listen then try to get it out of your head.

Its great as a ring tone too, if you like that kinda thing.

im in the office at work
im stuffed, there is a tall chair with metal legs, a couple of fold up umbrellas a pair of scissors and a sellotape dispenser

From the living room, the best i can offer is 2 guitar hero guitars, not sure how much damage they would do!

Or i have a camera tripod in the corner should do the trick!!

hmmmmmmmmmmmm……………..

The coat stands look a bit flimsy, however, hook one up to the power supplies, et voilla! DIY PointyStickTazerZombieDestroyer(TM)

Let's see…

/looks around/

Right then, got a pair of 2006 RS Revs, two seat posts, assorted screw drivers, heavy books, speaker stands…

Hmmm…

/rummages/

Aahh! FTW…450mm adjustable wrench with 'Faithful' etched on it.

😈

All I need now is a zombie…

/waits patiently/

A 26" machette that was my grandads in a war a looong time ago, bit rusty now but should do the job!

In my hotel room at the moment in Beijing. Assorted goodies I could use but for originality, I would have to select the condom with integrated vibrator from the condom minibar on my desk to the right.

Roll it over said zombies head and watch it shake his brains to mush.

It's ELECTRO!

waste of a good vibrating condom

the only proper way to use such things is to give them a wash and use them to restore a good head to a pint of Harbin

I'm in the office, I'm going to have to use an old computer monitor, and smash that over it's head, which as we all know; in movies kills instantly. May have to get a bit close though, so may have to push a filing cabinets over it first…

If you're going to the shop, I'm out of coffee…

Bring em on 😈 – Honest – I'm sitting in a Tank museum!

dave pop on the porn channel and have youself an extra posh w@nk

well i have a packet of jelly babies that i can slap them with,then when they're not expecting it,i can whack em over the head with my collins thesaurus (in a-z form).what if i gouged their eyes with fast fret(damn i just read it's non toxic!!!)

dave pop on the porn channel and have youself an extra posh w@nk

Pornography is illegal in China. You can buy it from mad looking old women who sell it from street carts at night though 🙂

It's odd as there are loads of 'sex shops' in Beijing selling toys etc.

I'd totally ignore the rules and hide behind mick hannah

Up close and personal with the fire extinguisher 😯

i'd just jump the bones of the blonde sitting across from me.

i'd just pray for once that the vinegar strokes were on time – imagine trying to get your rocks off for the last time and a zombie rips your throat out before you're done.

However, in a real situ i'd go for steel shelf divider thats razor sharp.

i'd just jump the bones of the blonde sitting across from me.

i'd just pray for once that the vinegar strokes were on time – imagine trying to get your rocks off for the last time and a zombie rips your throat out before you're done.

However, in a real situ i'd go for steel shelf divider thats razor sharp.

EDIT: Wow, i've never managed it twice before….. 🙂

could the attack wait until I'm next across at the site where the fire arms unit trains?

Im ok TBH behind me is a pair of Manipoo Axel forks I also have a whole tool box with assorted screwdrivers and heavy wrenches and a couple of hammers about 2m from me and a drill. I could do a whole load of on topic bludgeoning from my office. I do have a lot of crap in here!

[Hijack]

aP – I am placing all my hope in a zombie attack to be honest. Some private 3D model/rendering, a couple of extensions, some web-design, planners are giving me the run-around regarding a new-build (see: glass pavilion…) and I am being forced to sell my bikes! How about you lot? I hear things may be starting to pick up?

[/Hijack]