I can't believe I forgot about this, but having just been out I was reminded of the rules of parking when going to church which are as follows
1 Park on double yellow lines
2 If no double yellow lines are available, park all over a busy junction
3 If there isn't a suitable junction available, park anywhere else, but at least 1 meter from the kerb
4 Don't worry about stuffing up the roads for anyone else, God is on your side
i can see it now, auto park dumps the car near the space, and the "driver" if you can call them that, washes their hands of it.
You've never used it then...
is this the first time TJ has been dissed without even having posted on a thread?
As aracer suggests, pre-emptive attacks on TJ are indeed very common. They don't however necessarily stop him. Nor is there any evidence that he doesn't deserve them.
.
I never knew that about evil church-goers Cheesyfeet........you learn something new everyday, eh ?
What gets on my tits mostly, is when you have a nice car and don't want some muppet opening their door into the side of it - you find a half empty car park with hundreds of free spaces, park well away from anyone else and inevitably someone comes and parks directly next to you!
A friend (newish Brera) complained about this too.
Easy says I, because I know if I park next to a really nice car, that there is less chance of them dinging my bodywork.
I park over two bays sometimes. My car is my property to damage as I chose not strangers opening their doors onto mine or squeezing through with their bags.
Get over yourself?
Get over yourself?
What does that actually mean? Anything? Or is it a poorly thought out stock response to anyone who criticises something you do, simply to let stop thinking about its consequences and let your own conscience off the hook?
What gets on my tits mostly, is when you have a nice car and don't want some muppet opening their door into the side of it - you find a half empty car park with hundreds of free spaces, park well away from anyone else and inevitably someone comes and parks directly next to you!
Happened to me at the O2, I was sat in the car, the only car in a car park the size of a football pitch, then a car pulls in right next to me and wallop, a nice big dent in my drivers side door.
The driver tried to deny that her passenger had made the dent so I just opened the passenger door on her car and showed her how neatly it fitted in to the nice new crease in my door.
Almost got it on the drive... then left it for 20 years 
generally resentful and mean spirited (just like Tandem Jeremy - the biggest idiot on stw!)
Resentful and mean spirited, much?
What does it mean? Someone can own say a mint E30 3 series worth less than 1k and take great pride in its appearance, change the oil regularly and generally places a different value on money. I know that if I visit certain carparks (sale sports centre for instance) that my car would. Be guaranteed to be dented by a selfish oath.
What is more selfish, taking pride in you car or someone deciding it should be dented and then not own upto it?
Oh and our local Sainsburys apperantly fines you for parking outside of the marked. Bays. I always park at the furthest point in the carpark next to the posh beemers etc or I take up two bays. Yet to receive a letter/fine.
"Its not my fault the b ays are small/get over it its only a car" makes me laugh 
Whatever you do, do not leave the safety of the UK and definitely do not drive in Madrid. Triple parking was outlawed a few years ago as was double parking. Double parking is a useful activity in a city with restricted parking and still goes on. Lord knows what would happen if I double parked in the UK even if it wasn't causing a problem, I would expect the nosey parkers to come out and pass comment. 
You know Hora, parking across 2 bays is selfish and antisocial. If your that precious about the car, don't drive it. Apparently done people go round deliberately scratching cars parked across 2 bays
I take up two bays
I bend the windscreen wipers of cars that do that.
Doesn't matter about the size of the car, some people couldn't park no matter if it was a Micra or a Hummer.
Up until moving here, I'd never seen a Toyota Yaris with a turning circle that an aircraft carrier would be embarrassed of but my next door neighbour apparently owns just such a vehicle judging by her efforts to park the boody thing!
I bend the windscreen wipers of cars that do that.
Seriously?
Now you are trolling ernie
I'm of the opinion that if you park in a disabled space and you're not disabled, a couple of large men should be on hand to ensure that you are.
The disabled spaces outside the Co-Op at Besses o'th'Barn are the worst for this type of abuse:
The staff used to pop out at regular intervals and take pictures of the offending vehicles for their 'wall of shame', but stopped after being threatened. Nice.
Almost as annoying are idiots who park directly behind wheelchair accessible vehicles which are clearly displaying a sign asking for room to be left to operate the ramp:
Oh the joy of having to wait for an hour or so in the freezing cold for the idiot owner to return.
Have a look at this, makes me feel better about the whole thing...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G9OswQx7i8
I used to favour Justice and Truth
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth
One day I know I’ll have to face his wrath
A walk in hell for a walk-in bath
ALSO!!!
Hazard lights are NOT parking lights
cause when your parked in a row of your fellow muppets, it looks like your indicating to come out.
rage.
Seriously?
No, not seriously. But I have on occasions lifted the wipers of a car which has been parked selfishly off the windscreen so that they are poking up on the air (but not caused any damage) just to remind the arsehole how vulnerable his/her car is after they have parked and walked away.
Hazard lights are NOT parking lights
But they are very useful in drawing the attention of parking wardens some distance away, that a car has been parked illegally.
But they are very useful in drawing the attention of parking wardens some distance away, that a car has been parked illegally.
I always thought the hazard light made cars invisible to traffic wardens.
i finds a key tends to help you make your point.
course im taking about using the key to start the car and drive it away safely....not suggesting anything else!
Do people deliberately park their own car across two spaces then ?
I'd always assumed when I saw a car parked like that that it was abandoned after having been stolen and the insurance company wouldn't be too bothered about a couple of extra dents caused by a shopping trolley.
Hora -
One of my work colleagues parked in the car park at Sale leisure centre and a nice lady was seen reversing into the side of her car at some speed before getting out, having a look at the damage and then driving off. I forget how much they had to pay to get it sorted but it was over £500. The leisure centre didn't want to know and they don't have CCTV but someone did note down the perp's number plate and passed it on...Unfortunately they noted it down wrong so they were never found 
I once had a woman park next to me and open her door into the side of my car.
I pointed this out to her and she went ballistic????
Wrong choice, as she wasn't quite as good at going mental as me.
you dont know who has parked shit though, if x parks shit and y parks next to him, y appears to have parked shit when x pulls away
I once was unable to get into my car in a multi-storey car park because someone had parked their car so close to mine - I had parked the passenger side very close to wall so I could get out easily. I got the guy manning the office to come over with me hoping that he would have a clever idea - he didn't. I ended up going through the driver's window (I managed to open the door enough to press the button for the window)
There was absolutely no reason for it, the car park obviously had marked out bays. I insisted that the attendant kept an eye out for the tw4t to bollock him/her. He promised that he would, although of course I don't know whether he ever did.
Bwooly' its all angry/stressed mums who have no morals. Sainsburys in Sale- guy was sorting out his kids child seat whilst his door bounced against mine- he clocked me, then realised and shot me a 'oh muck off' look.
Now I have a screaming kid and no sleep- I haven't lost my morals or sense of common decency though. I will never be able to afford a new M3- doesn't stop me admiring one and respecting the owners hardwork...
Ernie - should have let the tyres down on the offending car on the opposite side of they car from your car. This would have made the car lean over a bit, thus giving you a tiny bit more room and also leave the offender with two flats to mull over 
With both of my last 2 cars if you hold the unlock button down on the keyfob then all the leccy windows drop down. Saves you having to try and open door to get to button next time!
ernie_lynch,
As the owner of an almost 5 metre long car, I would like to know why Micra drivers can't learn to accelerate beyond 25mph ...... or is it as I suspect, that they only do just to wind me up ? ****
You're kidding aren't you?! Up here in the NE, where everyone drives Nissans (the factory's here), I regularly get passed by Micras doing 90. It's terrifying!
I regularly get passed by Micras doing 90
I need to move to the NE.
Down here they're only driven by dotty old dears..........I think it's obligatory.
I put a couple of leek in the exhaust of a rather pleasant DB9 that was parked diagonally across the disabled spaces at sainsburys last summer.
The look of shear horror on the able bodied owners face as their pride and joy struggled and then died, only for the true horror of where they had parked to become apparent was glorious. I got to watch the whole thing play out whilst casually smoking a cigarette on an opposite bench.
I had been looking forward to those leeks for dinner but the absence of a disabled badge and an afternoon off, well the temptation was to great.
I have seen someones pride and joy parked over two bays, surrounded with shopping trolleys.
The guy nearly broke down in tears of rage when he returned to his car.
You should see how big the parking slots are in the States, you could fit three UK cars to one over there
I came back to my car at Asda to find a hairdresser's 4x4 jammed up tight against it so I was unable to get in the drivers door. There was a small gap between the cars. Once I had got in through the passenger door and got settled in the driver's seat I noticed the valve on the wheel nearest me was just at a handy height to let the air out. It took a while to deflate but the wait was worth it and the gap meant that had been left was enough that it didn't tilt onto my car. I don't imagine they understood what had happened but I felt better.
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