Watching ‘Twilight’ is like being beaten over the head repeatedly with a large, fluffy gonk whilst a teenage girl reads aloud from a Mills and Boon.

Sounds strangely kinky, like a guilty pleasure that should not be spoken of.

This morning I learnt that 2 hours road riding is enough to

a) Make my water bottle freeze completely solid.
b) Apparently literally freeze my nuts off.[1]

[1] Although everything does appear to be back now.

Yesterday I learnt:

1: There are still some good LBS’s out there – Cycle World in Stonehaven for starters. Sorted me out good and proper, Thanks Joe!
2: I’m too old to be messing about in the snow after midnight having been in the pub for 10 hours. My thumb hurts… The lightning was ace though!

1) I get grumpy when I can’t get out and ride in the snow due to man flu

2) I can never be as grumpy as MrsSwadey when she has self same man flu 🙄

..that my son would rather ride in -2′ snow than in the New Forest in August….

This morning I learnt during a 20km ride :-

XTR shifters can freeze

Three layers of windproof material is not enough

The human body can produce copious amounts of snot

I should have put my knee warmers on as well

I learnt 3 women can completely empty a house of hot water and not consider pressing the button so I get a cold shower after 3-and-a-half hours in sub zero temperatures. I am now on strike from fixing things they have broken.