Not far from where we live is a supermarket and small fastfood outlet. There’s a young girl (20s) living rough in the area, possibly due to the discarded food. I’m no expert but she looks totally traumatised and in a worryingly pitiful state. I’ve seen her in the highstreet ‘talking’ to the police and apparently the security guards at the supermarket have banned her and generally move her on; I’m not sure the that the local kids are great either. She’s been there for a while now and I’m not sure what statutory services might be involved. Lately the weather’s been dreadful too.

It’s no hassle when we shop at the supermarket to pop a few items of food in a carrier bag with a bit of change to leave for her and I think she does take the food on. I’m not sure if it’s a great idea and don’t want to make her dependant or not seek help but equally it wouldn’t suprise me to read in the local paper one day that she’d died. We’re a relatively small town/village with no homeless shelters or anything like that.

So, what to do for the best, I’m kind of holding on to the thought that a bit of food every now and then when we go by might just keep her going until something can be done, but I’m not entirely sure we’re not making things worse.

I work in the charity sector so should be able to ask around and get advice but wondered what people thought on here.

Have you spoken to her ? I would start with that.

Like I said, she looks totally traumatised. I started by trying to give her a bit of cash to buy some food and couldn’t get near her, she looked terrified, so didn’t push it. It seems to have reached the point where we can just leave a carrier next to her, say it’s there and walk away. Will talk to some collegues too and see what they think.

Your local council should have a neighbourhood liaison officer who might be able to help.

I work in the charity sector so should be able to ask around and get advice but wondered what people thought on here.

do that

ernie_lynch – Member
Have you spoken to her ? I would start with that.

be careful and take everything with a pinch of salt

if she is not an illegal immigrant there is help out there

Sounds bad 🙁 I can’t give any advise but I would have thought that there will be a mental health worker on here that can. Seems to me like she needs to be sectioned quite urgently.

EDIT : Even if she is an illegal immigrant/the victim of human trafficking, she should be able to get help.

we shop at the supermarket to pop a few items of food in a carrier bag with a bit of change to leave for her

sounds like grooming to me…..

i have nothing constructive to add.

@PJay – just want to say…. well done for trying to help. Who knows what is best, and what is right…. but trying to help is a bloody good start.
SB

There was a tramp guy round here (Stockport) who was referred to as “Blue Coat John” and he would spend his days shuffling around and mumbling to himself. If anybody approached him he would turn away and cower, if anybody got very close to him he would curl up on the ground and shake and cry. It was quite heartbreaking to see. Even the kids who would see him would give him some space, leave a bag of crisps on a wall near him, maybe a can of coke. I often saw him near the canal. I think he used to doss under one of the bridges.
I believe he died last winter from hypothermia. I often think about him and wish I’d have done something more for him than leave him something to eat from my ride snack stash.
I remember seeing him while I was riding with another bloke and when I pointed him out, the person I was with said he had “No sympathy for people like that. There are services available for them to use to get help”. I thought then “You’re a bit of a cock, you are” and sadly, that impression has been emphasised more and more ever since to the point that I really quite dislike the guy now. Maybe I’m just as big a cock for not doing more.
Not sure why I’m spouting this other than I wish I’d have done more for “John”. Maybe it’s my guilt.

Speak to social services mate – laudible the sentiment but you need to fully understand what you’re getting into..

Being kind, being decent, being humane, being a good guy is never wrong.

Do what you can to make someones life a little better, and good on you for doing so.

move on….the big society will take care of her

move on….the big society will take care of her

EDIT: Tongue firmly in cheek.

When I lived in Manchester, there was this guy who lived in the unused garage at the back of our house. He coughed all night. Cough, cough, cough,. I never slept because of it. My wife tried to find him jobs to do like sweeping up leaves and that. I reckon I paid him about 50 quid in total. Of course, he never did the job she asked him to do.

One day a load of lads beat him up. (It was a rough area). I caught them doing it and sent them away. Saying that, I wanted to kick the shit out of him myself because I couldn’t sleep through his constant coughing.

One day, we were sat on our lawn in the sun and he came and sat with us and told us about his life. (I didn’t **** ask him, he just turned up and started rambling).

If we believed what he said, he’d served in some of the very many places Britain likes to place soldiers but not actually tell us about. He’d finally left the army after getting tired of stringing people up by their own gizzards but couldn’t hold down a normal job where you don’t have to torture your customers to death.

He died that winter in the garage.

I dunno. but trying to talk to her?

Like I said, she looks totally traumatised.

Difficult one as you’ve said you have seen her ‘talking’ to the police so they are presumably aware of her, even more so as it’s a small town.

Might be worth having a word with them and voicing your concerns, as they should have set the wheels in motion if they think she is a vulnerable adult.

Being kind, being decent, being humane, being a good guy is never wrong.

Do what you can to make someones life a little better, and good on you for doing so.

Indeed. You can’t walk past. I know I couldn’t in this position. It doesn’t matter what their story is, where they are from, what they may or may not have done wrong, it’s still a person, a person who needs help. I don’t know what I would do, but I know I wouldn’t be able to ignore it.

Is this going to turn into and epsiode of Peepshow?

I too can’t walk past another human being who is in distress without helping, however you can make things worse.

Try not to give cash. If she’s got some sort of addiction, you could be fueling it. Also, giving money makes them vulnerable to attack.

Firstly, make sure she’s has food, warm clothing and something to sleep on/in – think about the rain and cold.

Secondly, get in touch with your Social Services. Here in Brighton we have several Out Reach centers. Make sure she’s aware of them, they can be helpful and have experience. It can be hard but try not to duplicate your efforts.

Try and enter some sort of dialog, maybe she’s more comfortable speaking to another woman.

Engage the security guards, do they have some history about her.

Finally, many, many people living rough have mental issues.

Well done on your efforts so far, good luck and keep us updated.

Nigel

He died that winter in the garage

I love a happy ending.

😯