give Shane a break and support him – not kick him whilst he's down

I stand by my comment. From most of what I've read about him and most of what I've read by him, it sounds like he needs to learn to support himself. Sometimes, all the help and support people get does little more than keep them from learning the skills needed to actually help themselves. Trouble is, people love to help; perhaps without realising that it's their help that is perpetuating a problem.

sharki, it's good that you've answered your critics on here with your experiences but you don't owe any of us an explanation! live your life your way man!,just make sure your kids know you love them, you can tell them why things turned out this way when they'll understand, as long as you live like a decent person you'll do for me,e-mail me when you're in poole and you'll be fed,have luck.

Sharki

Please mail me if you are in Brighton. Got some bits and pieces that just aren't getting done in the garden.

Hi Shane. Good to see you at the 24/12 the other week.

From most of what I've read about him and most of what I've read by him, it sounds like he needs to learn to support himself

But that's what he's doing. I didn't know Shane, I still don't nor does Mrs BP. But I had met him on a couple of rides and wanted to help earlier this year. Got in touch and met up. He worked here for a few days on stuff that I either couldn't do or couldn't do as well as him. He worked hard, and he worked well, we fed him and he stayed in the spare room.

He was probably bored stiff while here as we're normal middle aged folk, we've a very conventional life in the rat race. My life is controlled by medication so I stick to a routine day after day as that's easier for me to manage my drugs. So roughly the same time to bed, roughly the same time up etc. Routine.

However Shane the consequence of your stay was positive, we both look at things in our life in a slightly different way, not earth shatteringly so but it's changed. Thank you. I hope you come back so we can have a beer and I can listen. Hell I might even stay up late and bore you with more on my life.

Safe journey.

Sounds awesome, I want to embark on a journey like this!

Dude, no need to explain yourself on here to people who don't know you and don't care about you. Look forward to seeing you soon, planning my next Aussie trip and you might be the source of some inspiriation 🙂

I disagree that our "help" is perpetuating a problem in this case. We are not helping Shane to maintain a lifestyle that makes him ill*. Instead we are encouraging him to make the changes he feels are necessary to bring meaning to his life. So it's unconventional… so what!?

*I've been there with my alcoholic sister. Denying her an emotional crutch was necessary to make her hit rock bottom. Which she did and has changed her life for the better. But she had to realise and decide to do that herself. Shane has already realised and decided IMO. So lets help him, in any small way that we can.

SUBJECT CHANGE

Hey Sharki

just been in my shed ans I have a set of panniers and a rack which should fit the 456 and a set of 26" road tyres ( unused )

Just say if you want em and I will drop em off to you

and there is still room at the Inn

I disagree that our "help" is perpetuating a problem in this case.

I didn't say that it was. I said that sometimes help and support can perpetuate a problem. What constitutes "help" can often be a matter of opinion. I recognise that there is a responsibility on both sides in what is asked for and what is given.

And I've made no comment, or judgement, on whether Shane's life is conventional or not, so just calm your harassments. I'm just saying what I see; my perception formed from on my own life experiences and from time working in the support system. You are of course free to disagree, but at least do so based on proper understanding of what I've said.

"so just calm your harassments."

Sorry dude, no harassment intended. Peace out.

Good luck Sharki, I'm also sick and tired of the rat-race, the blatant greed of those that govern us.
The rich getting richer etc.
I wish the country had more people like yourself, rather than the middle class sheep who are happy with it, and their lot.

Three_fish.

As you've asked, i've tried to ask the one person who can help me.

However.. as i don't know me as well as yourself and haven't taken 3 months or more living without complications and interference that normal living can provide. I've been unable to think alot about what i need in life and what makes me happy, how i've failed and succeed. How i can fulfil my dreams and satisfy my curiosity of life.

I've never stared through glazed eyes with a rope around my neck wondering how and why i want to live, neither have i looked at the consequences of my actions and justified why and how those actions would affect me and those that love me.

I've not spent nights and days, picturing myself in a cell, rocking in a corner, doped up on medication, just so i could maybe feed myself and partially function,that was never an image in my mind, neither was the sight of me hanging from a tree, lost in a place, hidden from eyes, perhaps found by a concerned friend or family member.

I didn't even see myself travelling, helping and inspiring others, giving hope and faith to others controlled by greed. I've not felt the appreciation and thanks from offering and giving my day up, for just a cup of tea, and felt that warmth as a stranger looked into my eyes then hugged me goodbye.

I've not wanted to carry on and perhaps change a little how people behave, no! that is for someone else to do because they've been trained to do and read the books that told the,.m that's the way to deal with that

I haven't found contentment or a way to get that for the remaining days of my life.

So please, three_fish with all your wisdom and knowledge of who i am and how i feel.

Who do i need to get assistance from, who can provide me with the guidance to show me where i want to go, who can help me? who knows me?

Please tell me as right now the only person i know who knows me… is not you.

Suggestions are welcome because until i know how to be happy i'll just do what i see works to make me be happy.

I read the whole thread last night and to be honest it touched a few nerves I'd forgotton I had. Firstly I'd like to wish Sharki the best of luck in his life, doing what he's doing takes some bollocks, far more so than just sitting there and hoping your life will changed through the input of someone else.

Now here's the odd bit. I've lived (married to) with someone who suffered with mental health problems, years of not knowing what you were going home to or wondering what crisis would unfold this week takes its toll on EVERYONE. So, has anyone except me thought that whilst Sharki is where he is mentally and his kids are safe and cared for then perhaps they might be better without him for the moment?

Sharki go out and let the happiness find you, peace of mind is something worth finding. You're just one man and it'll be near impossible for you to change the world but you can change YOUR world and it's an endevour that should be admired … 'pleasant valley sunday' isn't for everyone and regardless of what some think, it isn't compulsory.

I'll **** off now … good luck 😉

)it was suggested(i was told) the try for a daughther would bring us together

That's some crappo advice right there, to put it mildly!

Well done for posting all the personal stuff though to satisfy us lot. Knowing the situation better makes it a lot easier for us to understand. And it's clear that walking away is sometimes the best option.

Thanks once more.

It was hard to share all that, but i felt it necessary, it hurt me to know that people had my best intentions at heart and that my refusal to back down and take the advice must of been frustrating for those with the belief i'm doing the wrong thing.

Bagpus, i'm really touched. For the record, i was not bored, far from it.

Andy, i'm getting a trailer, it'll keep the centre of gravity low, so i can ride the staines easier. 😉 Thanks all the same.

🙂

Can I have the rack and panniers then please?