A Suffolk man with a bizarre sexual attraction to tractors has been banned from the countryside and forced to sign the sex-offenders’ register.

Ralph Bishop, 53, was found by police with his trousers around his ankles “interfering” with a tractor parked in a field outside Saxmundham.

He was arrested on suspicion of outraging public decency, and admitted to having had sex with around 450 tractors all over the Suffolk countryside.

When officers searched his terraced home they found a collection of more than 5,000 tractor images on his laptop.

The photos showed Bishop had a special desire for John Deere and Massey Ferguson tractors, particularly green ones.

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/suffolk-man-sex-with-tractors

I used to like farm machinery but now I’m an ex-tractor fan…

Oh Deere, Oh Deere, Oh Deere!

He was clearly in state of high excitement at the rear of the machine

Euphemism of the day 😯

Reminded me of this

more than 5,000 tractor images on his laptop.

What constitutes an indecent image of a tractor, I wonder? Mudguards removed, door slightly ajar?

Is that actually real? How can someone be “banned from the countryside” – how the hell do you define “the countryside?”

I’m going to wait for this to appear as a story line in the Archers.

That was a well selected thread title!

I’d not go near him, axle grease no less!

Caught by the rozzers(in his dreams).

He is really into Massive Fergusons sorry I will get my coat.

He loves a tractor in uniform, though.

Caught by the rozzers

It’s all those rotating parts, he knew the risk he was taking.

Has to be a spoof site after reading other “stories”

Has to be a spoof site after reading other “stories”

scroll to the bottom of the page…

I guess if he goes off the idea he will be an ex tractor fan

EXCLUSIVE
By Hugh Dunnett
Crime Correspondent

😆

He’s certainly ploughing his own furrow.

Has to be a spoof site after reading other “stories”

It is. They had a funny one a few weeks ago about a blind football team kicking the shit out of a Morris Dancing outfit when they thought the bells were the football.

Here we go… http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/morris-dancers-blind-footballers-brawl/

He was clearly in state of high excitement at the rear of the machine

Wonder if he was doing it up the ‘David brown’

As reported by:

Edit: beaten to it

It’s all those rotating parts, he knew the risk he was taking.

But if he’s lucky he’ll get bailed.

own up, which one of you lot is it?

Meanwhile in the county next door….

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-34615001

Double post

Bloody hell Cheesyfeet, that horse one is bad… 😯

This, from the original story, is genius

“He is also banned from the countryside and is now not allowed to go within one mile of a farm,” the police insider added. “So he has to live and remain in the middle of Ipswich to comply with that.
“However, we are watching him because we are worried about the safety of several street-cleaning machines.”
Another policeman added: “He’ll also need to keep away from the town’s gardens – if he takes a fancy to a lawn mower he might find he loses more than just his liberty.”

Oh come on, the byline is “Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent”

Has to be a wind up.

Time for a quick edit of an old favourite

I can’t read
And I can’t write
But that don’t really matter
‘Cause I come from the West Country
And I can f–k a tractor

Meanwhile in the county next door….

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-34615001

Got to wonder what kind of “equipment” he has got if he can internally injure a **** horse 😕

Is that actually real? How can someone be “banned from the countryside” – how the hell do you define “the countryside?”

you read that and the “how can that be real?” bit you picked out was someone being banned from the countryside? Did you read the bit about the fella **** over tractors?

Got to wonder what kind of “equipment” he has got if he can internally injure a **** horse

There was a story from the states of a group of men who had clubbed together and bought a horse for sex.
One guy was killed as his insides got damaged due to the gents being the recipients rather than the givers.
Apparently as it’s that way round no law had been broken.

<came into the thread hoping it’d be MC>