apologies if someone has already posted this (have just literally read it) http://road.cc/content/news/48491-graeme-obree-speaks-about-depression-and-suicide-wake-gary-speeds-death (as someone who suffers with the bastid illness).as i was reading his interview i was shouting yes (in my head you understand 😉 when he was describing what depression feels like. i haven’t really written on this forum,just how bad it is sometimes (not about wanting to kill myself.more letting myself go/not looking after myself,that type of thing).i have been in a rut/like this for a long time.i do feel embarrassed about how i can live like this,but it just seems normal (which is one of the worst things about it 😡 anyhoo i just wanted to be truthful. i have a lot of respect for graeme,for being so open about his battles with this infernal illness.i wish him and everyone who suffers with it,my best wishes in being able to get back to a normal (whatever that is) life.take care everyone 🙂 p.s what tyres for riding in winter chalk 😉

The fact that you can talk about it is a good thing. I’ve only ever had depression due to hangovers and that’s bad enough, but I’ve seen family members suffer and 1 suicide and the pain it causes to those closest is terrible.
There’s always those willing to listen and chat- plenty good folks on here. Discussing it will be therapeutic for you mate. Getting out for a blast on the bike will help clear the head too.

Horrible illness but can be broken ..took me a long time to realize the way I felt wasn’t necessarily the way things were and then challenge the negative ruminations over and over again till healthier patterns of thinking took their place .

I too have suffered…good to get it out!

WTF is teh fluffy pic about BTW?

It is a horrible illness, but it can indeed be broken – no matter how long you’ve been ill.

It is indeed awful, cheated me out of much of my 20’s. It can indeed be broken. Obree’s book took me ages to finish as some of it was so painful to read.

Also don’t know much about riding in chalk but I’d probably start out with a mud x 🙂

Yeah, it’s a bugger. Sometimes it gets better though, work your way through it.

I was bi-polar for many years. Didn’t realise it till someone pointed it out to me. Really screws your life up. The amount of ruined relationships in my wake…. The weeks of darkness and anger, the forgotten days of mania. My dad said he’d never seen me look happy. 🙁

Work through it, it got better for me, it got better for Graeme. It can get better for you.

yep it sure aint good.
i wince at the ruined relationships bit samuri mentioned, been some wonderful partners in my life ive pushed away just because i couldnt get out of the darkness in my own head, and then i turn around and the darkness is gone, but by then they have too 🙁

There’s a big push for sports personalities and celebs to be open about mental health problems at the moment. A lot of it is driven by the ‘Time for Change campaign’, you can add them on Facebook for regular articles and links to various news items, discussions etc. They also ask for people to share their experiences, sharing is pretty cathartic, but knowing you might be helping others to do the same is a pretty good feeling according to some of my patients who have done the same.

I was initially a bit dismissive of the initiative, the Stephen Fry bi-polar push appeared to create more celebs claiming to have it as an excuse for certain drug/alcohol induced behaviour and it seemed to glamorise it, instead of drawing attention to the problems it causes and how people can help. However seeing that the Obree thing has allowed you to feel more comfortable about discussing your experiences I’m very pleased its happening 🙂

The normal figure thrown about is 1 in 4 people experience some kind of mental health problem, however I’m of the opinion that pretty much everyone will experience it at some point in their lives if they live long enough. Relative dies leading to reactive depression, drugs or alcohol dependence, anxiety disorders and so on… eventually dementia. I believe its a normal part of the human experience and the stigma surrounding it is the most destructive thing a society can hold on to considering at some point they or somebody they love will suffer.

Sharing experiences is a good thing, the more people who learn its not abnormal to struggle with things at times the better.

Thank you everyone on this thread for doing so 🙂

raceface – sorry to hear you’re still struggling. You need to take care of yourself and get into a routine. Why not plan a menu for the week and ensure that you’re getting sufficient nutrients/vitamins?

As regards wet chalk, I do sympathise! Is it too far for you to ride up onto Salisbury Plain? The gravel track that skirts the Plain is anything but flat so even if you do an out-and-back, it will still be a good workout. The track is open even if there is firing taking place.

Good luck. 🙂

It took me to a very dark place once. I have no desire to return there.

For me, it was clearly situational, so once I was out of that situation (easier said than done, and haunted me for another 18 months) I could move on.

Drugs have there place.
Talking is the best thing.

Loving and being loved help melt the ice that your soul feels plunged into.

Keep going. You can get through it.

Just reading this thread is helping me,knowing it can get better 🙂

keep going – your posts always strike me as being optimistic , which makes me feel better.
you’ve just got to keep telling yourself to be positive – works for me , that and the biking.

😀

I have suffered for 10 years with depression the docs have been great i don’t think it ever leaves you i find i can feel it coming on and i learn to manage it better.

KT1973 i’m sorry to hear that one of your family committed suicide. 🙁 thanks everyone for your replies.i definitely feel better hearing about other people who are beating it (as thegman67 said though,i think that one will always suffer with it for the rest of their life).it’s just knowing how to stop it from controlling you. i haven’t ridden my bike for literally a few months (apart from doing shopping e.t.c),well i plan on going out on it sometime very soon (as soon as the weather here in wiltshire perks up a bit 😉 tis a bit windy/wet.it is a great feeling to know that i can come here (to singletrack forum) and be able to talk to other people.the amount of kind people here blows me away (another post i did a while back,asking what food to buy with limited funds.some people offered to send me some money/i wasn’t expecting that at all).i just want to say thanks to you all.it does mean a lot to me that there are people who will read your rants 😉 and give good advice. right i’ll shut up now 😀 cinnamon_girl are you feeling better after your accident?you’ll be back on your bike before you know it (if you haven’t already 😉 merry xmas everyone

raceface… if you ever fancy a chilled no pressure spin around swinley completely tailored to your ability (unless you’re better than me in which case i might have to meet you at the end of certain sections) then let me know!

TSY, mrsconsequence and I took CG out once when she wasn’t feeling too great and we made her smile, didnt even need to tickle her!

In a few days it’ll be 21st December. After that the days get longer (well, stay lighter longer – you know what I mean).

I always think that’s a great turning point in the year. Onwards and upwards..!

You know, there’s a lot to be said for just riding around on a bike in daylight. Shopping, going nowhere, on road, off road, whatever. Sometimes, just riding along is one of the greatest remedies.

Give that a try. See how you go.

ourmaninthenorth i like your thinking 😉 philconsequence thanks for the offer 😀 .would like to take you upon that someday.the only problem is that i live in devizes wiltshire,and have no car.if you’re ever around devizes,i would gladly show you round some of the local trails (especially the ridgeway/avebury) 🙂 p.s you have nothing to worry about regarding my fitness 😳

hmmmm that is a fair old drive away…. will be pretty much driving through Devizes on boxing day morning but couldn’t stop for a ride as gotta get to mrsconsequences family gathering 🙁

something will be organised though, at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later 😀

philconsequence that would be great.thanks.adam 😀

Stay positive Racefacece90 & Co!

Ahhh… now I understand the Ridgeway question… Devizes Wiltshire ain’t too far away Philly.

We can gate crash Auntie C_G’s Xmas do… she loves Christmas even more than Elf… no not that Elf.

😀 so is that a ‘yes philly, visiting raceface to go for a spin on some new terrain is a great idea’?

(even though yeti is some kinda freak riding god i can vouch for his ability to chill out and jsut enjoy a spin raceface!)

Yes indeed.

I’ll go for a run in the morning or something. Or just turn up drunk.

this sounds good. 😉 the terrain isn’t that taxing (well for you lot 😉 around devizes/the ridgeway.i imagine you all ride quite tech trails (wales/scotland e.t.c) but is made up by the views :-)anyone else want to come along? (what date would suit you all the best).man this is turning into a singletrack meet 😀

throw a few dates up that are good for you and we can go from there 🙂

EDIT – inclines in general are taxing for me! singlesheep or FS?

I’m off for most of Xmas. HT Phil.

to be honest anytime is fine with me(as long as i can get a couple of weeks notice/as i seriously haven’t ridden my bike for a good few months 😳 oh and if it’s good weather also 😉 edit will be nice to put some faces to your user names (sorry about my ugly mug though 😀

Hey – lots of support for you raceface. 8)

It doesn’t seem that long ago you posted lots of really nice pics from your rides. Perhaps if you have another look at them, relive those trails and the enjoyment they gave you.

cinnamon_girl you are more than welcome to join us if you want. i have been looking at my youtube vids that i did (well got to increase the numbers somehow 😉 when i filmed some rides.it really makes me want to ride my bike again (blasted weather though/i’m a lightweight 😳 it’s so annoying that the depression stops you wanting to do the things that you love (and whenever i do finally go out on my bike,i am always glad i did).

raceface – I’ve just PM’d you on the other Forum.

how would the friday before new years be? might bring mrsconsequence if the weather is nice and if you’d be ok/feel comfortable with that?

philconsequence that would be fine (the more the merrier 😀 i was planning on saving for a new guitar/amp,but since starting this thread,am now planning on getting some mtb clothing instead (starting with a decent waterproof jacket).where/what time would you like to meet up. is there anywhere you’d like to ride near devizes e.t.c?

here is a documentary about the great man i have just watched on youtube (part 1 of 8 ) [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3DwhbUGUIg[/video] 🙂

If more the merrier, I’d be happy to slow the pace!

no preferences at all from this end 😀 mrsconsequence might moan a bit if its very hilly as she’s been on the bike a while but i’m up for whatever 😀

we’ve both got the day off so flexible on timings but it will take us a bit of time to get down to you and it’d be nice not to wake up tooooo early…. saying that its still getting dark early so gotta keep that in mind. how long do you want to ride for? got sat nav so happy to meet wherever!

fingers crossed on the weather 🙂

what about 11am – 12 pm meet up time (but honestly what suits you,as you are making the effort to drive up to meet me.much appreciated i must add 😀 i have a few routes in mind (depending on weather on the day e.t.c),but if anyone else,who wants to join us has any routes they’d like to do/suggest,will be more than happy to do them instead (as to be honest am not the greatest at route finding 😳 the route i was thinking of would take us from devizes to roundway hill.we then come out by a golf club onto main road.we then cut off-road again and cycle up to cherhill monument.from there we continue to avebury (i know a route that will keep us all off the main beckhampton/avebury road).from there we cycle to the ridgeway (i reckon 8-9 miles at this point to get to avebury). from there i can tailor it to how everyone is feeling (was thinking of cycling to barbury castle near swindon/not an actual castle there anymore,just the hill where it used to be) then we return the way we came.total distance around 30 miles (i will try and do a map of the route so you can all see it).the only problem about the route is,as it’s chalk/clay.if it has rained heavily then it does get very gloopy.a backup plan for that situation is to cycle to salisbury plain instead (and to westbury white horse and back again).that route is a lot better in wet weather.the only downside(s) is there is more road riding to get there (i cycle to red horn hill from devizes via a country back road),also it isn’t as interesting (mostly) to ride (views e.t.c) i reckon that route will be around the same distance all in (30 miles).i will try and do a map of that route also (will use one of the google type terrain programs).as i said though am happy to go where you all would like to see/ride (your map route finding skills are a lot better than mine 😉 p.s Kiril you are most welcome to join us.any route suggestions are most welcome 😉

Hi, I know that area well. I rode the avebury/Barbary castle route a couple of months ago and the hard chalk was like ice. I’m not sure if any of the plain will be open at this time but that might be worth a thought.

i know yeti will be happy with 30miles, i’d be willing to give it a go (think longest off road ride I’ve done is about 18-19miles but that might completely kill mrsconsequence half way :S she’s probably going to struggle with whatever we do and i think her maximum might be about 12-15 in the cold and having not been out on a bike for a loooong time.

now i feel bad for being hassly!

thought i would put up a couple of my videos so anyone who hasn’t been to the places before,can get some idea (plus i need all the viewing figures i can get tbh 🙂 p.s excuse the multiple postings (i do not know how to do multi video posts on 1 post 😕 [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzliXP-rD3c&feature=g-upl[/video]