alternatively heading for London or sometimes Edinburgh.

When she has to sort out England and Scotland. 😀

🙁 Pretty grim Sue.

Never been bullied at work but was as a teenager for 3 years and you do carry it round with you, in my experience bullies have masses of their own issues and eventually end up tripping themselves up. Mine was psychological too some times I wish it had been physical blows at least then you have proof eh?

It happened to my friend for quite a while as the DSS she ended up going on the sick. The women tripped herself up bragging about it in the kitchen the door was open the boss heard and off she was walked from the premises….

Keep a diary they always say don’t they…. not sure what else to say but have you tried ACAS they’re quite good when you ring for advice?

Debs x

especially for Sue

HTH x

Sue – you’re not a victim because you’re doing something about it.

I know it can be really hard to think of the good times when you’re feeling low but talking really helps. Is there a friend you can trust who you can tell and will be there for you?

You’d be surprised how much better you’ll feel having someone to tell you you’re not being daft and its a perfectly natural way to feel with everything thats going on.

Trust me having that one person to vent to really makes the difference and as wonderful as the STW lot are sometimes there’s no replacement for talking to a ‘real’ person.

Now for something a little lighter…..

Two goldfish in a tank.

One says to the other, “I’ll drive, you man the guns!”

I’ll get my coat……..

Sue ,
I have a book called ‘In Sheeps Clothing’ .- Understanding and dealing with manipulative people. Its yours if you want it . Might help a little , its not a long read although its American so some bits dont fully translate . Email address in profile if its a yes .

What do you call a man with a cresent moon on his shoulder?
Wayne.

Sue dont let the bastard get you down, you are doing the right thing so deep breath and keep on keping on.

Sending posi’s Sue…If you’ve been laid up with flu and moping around the house feeling ill and low you’re not currently wearing the best suit of armour…Keep your chin up, box clever and remember to play “eye of the tiger” on the way in to work! 😉

Aww, good luck Sue. I’m sure it’ll be reet in t’end. The good will out.

Interestingly, a member of my staff has just taken out a grievance against me, citing bullying as the cause. She knew we were investigating her for some fairly serious issues; financial irregularities, CP issues, etc, so we think she went for a pre-emptive strike. She has previous though from before I came into post; with a case against her regarding bullying of both staff and students.

Even though I know I’m in the right, it’s the first time in a long, long time that I’ve felt stressed.

Good luck though. Are you out for elf’s chrimbo ride?

Keep being strong!
Sounds tough to say this but you have to keep telling yourself there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
You’ve done a marvelous job so far by the sound of it.
Things have been a bit crap the last 2 months in H manor.
FuturemissusH has been ill in hospital for the past 2 and a half months (last 5 weeks in Bristol and we live in Gloucester).
I’ve virtually been running the house on my own with 5 kids ages 14 to 2.5 years, add in a massive bust up with my parents and going onto unpaid leave from work and it’s been a bit busy to say the least.
However Carol might be coming home tomorrow so things are looking much better,
you’re good times will be back, you just need to keep telling yourself that.
Darren

Oh, just seen this 🙁

Sending my biggest hugs and kisses.

Stand up to bullies. They hate it. I was bullied for ages at school, but like they say ” it does get better!!”

Don’t know any jokes, soz

Hi Sue,

I don’t think I’ve anything useful to say – I just hope it all works out and you get it all behind you soon.

Big hugs and if you’re ever over in the East, shout out…

Rachel x

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lK7IzfLmyco[/video]

Please tell me it’s not this bad, Sue….

Chin up, girl! A smile suits you….! 🙂

Ladies and Gents – thanks 🙂

Have WTFU a bit, size 4 arse kicking boots back on, and attitude returned. Hell, if I can handle government ministers, one shonky work colleague isn’t going to get the better of me.

ernie_lynch: you’ve obviously seen me out dancing on a Saturday night.

CFH – it’ll never get that bad! Chin’s up and smile is back

DarrenH – that’s tough. Really hope you’re OK and things improve

Bullheart: That’s the last thing you need! Yup, planning on pootling in London. Just trying to get hold of a fixie to pee Elfin off 😆

Keep a hold Sue, you’ll pull through.

Are you coming over for Elf’s London Ride? Hope so, I’m going and I’d love to meet you. We can have a few drinks and a laugh.

Imagine this, this guy had a go at you, thinking he would come out on top, feeling all clever and pleased with himself, oops, didn’t work that way, now he’s had a chance to think about it, shit, what have I done, omg, she’s gonna crucify me, oh dear, bricking it.

See you on the 17th! xxx

Hey Sue_W……
Sending courage vibes your way.
Good will out. Karma is real. We only pass this way once so make it count for the better.

SB

Awww Sue that’s rubbish. Hope it all gets put into perspective soon. Well done you for standing up to be counted!

Good luck, stay strong.
Sheep’s clothing is a good book. I read it when I had a bullying boss who the company were too naive and feeble to deal with. Reckon he was a full blown psycopath actually, he thought it was funny to hurt next door;s cat.
At the end of the day you have to stand up for yourself and your team, and you’re doing that, which is being true to your own values and the only way you can operate really.

In my experience, senior people who actually do the right thing in these circumstances are rare. HR exist for the company’s sake, not the employees’ and they will resolve this whichever way is most likely to keep the company out of a law case so tread carefully…

And frankly, if they play dirty then you’re better off out anyway.
Best wishes, I know from personal experience these situations can be very hard to deal with and for others to understand…

Just remember Sue – wherever you are and whatever you are going through is nver as bad as what I have to experience evrey day…

Yup, every day….

Wunundred! 😀

Still think Lundun is a poor place elf?…

Eh? What are you talking about?

wherever you are and whatever you are going through is nver as bad as what I have to experience evrey day…

So, you actually experience abject poverty and squalor on a daily basis, or merely witness it?

both!

As a late edit – we are trying to make things better here but by eck is it a tough old game!

Ego pwned…

Well, you did rather leave yourself open for it on the atheist thread, Crikey. 😉

Zeadsdead; what do you do that involves you experiencing abject poverty yet still able to afford internets?

I get what yer saying though; always someone worse off than yerself.

Some of the things I saw in Bangladesh as a kid always remind me of just how lucky I am, really. Puts things into sharp perspective…

Well, you did rather leave yourself open for it on the atheist thread, Crikey

Really? I shall begin calling you 40 watt egosafety, cos you are not bright. Do tell how many logins you are up to now?

Dunno, I can’t count cos I’m too thick. 😐

Is the answer ‘orange’?

Tell you what, why not use Sue_Ws thread to boost your on-line ego… Oh, you already have.

Elf – I’m currently in India – for sure this is a tough as hell place to live. I’ve read your comments about London and poverty and believe me it’s nothing compared to here!

I could give some examples but they would make me cry so I won’t.

We think we have it hard sometimes – believe me we don’t. If you have any real life experience of Bangladesh yo uwill know what I mean.

A lot of people are moaning about the UK – trust me, it is actually a great place to live. I can’t wait to get back!

As for what we do? well we only employ local people here and also supposrt local charity – but with so much corruption it gets very bloody frustrating…

p
w
n
e
d

I’ve read your comments about London and poverty and believe me it’s nothing compared to here!

Ever since Elf first came to STW he has always emphasised how poverty in Bangladesh far exceeds anything comparable in the UK. I think you’re misrepresenting him.

Two snowmen standing in a field, one says to the other…. “Can you smell Carrotts??”

😀

Just come across this Sue and like everyone think you’re brill for standing up and being counted.

I’ve had to adjudicate on processes like this in the past and its not easy. So where ever you can, reference substantiated things. Emails, meetings with witnesses etc. Don’t know the circumstances obviously but try to show his behaviour and actions (or lack of them) rather than your feelings.

As a reasonable person you will naturally write in a gentle tone. In normal situations that might ok, but this is not a reasonable situation so make sure you put your points over strongly. It makes life easier for others to digest timelines and bullet points rather than huge amounts of prose.

Remember one of the things you are fighting for is the success of the company and the team they have invested in. Show how his behaviour is preventing quality, productivity etc. This also removes the issue of being a victim. This might sound rather impersonal but it is an empowering approach rather than an emploring one. I’ve found it encourages those judging it to become empathetic rather than sympathetic, and its a crucial difference.

Its worth getting a dispassionate person to read it before handing it over. TJ has offered (I think) and I’ll be on Elf’s pootle if you want a chat (You are going aren’t you!) even though it might be abit late for the letter. You can email as well if you want.

Keep busy and balanced.

Anyway let the jokes continue….

Zedsdead: erm, I wasn’t, and wouldn’t, claim that this situation is anywhere near as bad as what a lot of people endure, not just in other countries but in the UK and even amongst folk on the forum (where I know a lot of people have shown incredible strength in dealing with really difficult experiences).

It’s been because I don’t feel that I have any justification, that I haven’t asked anyone for support, and think I should just get on a deal with it myself. Sorry, this morning it just all got on top of me a bit. I do know that there are far, far worse things that can happen, and I shouldn’t complain.

ernie_lynch – Member

I’ve read your comments about London and poverty and believe me it’s nothing compared to here!

Ever since Elf first came to STW he has always emphasised how poverty in Bangladesh far exceeds anything comparable in the UK. I think you’re misrepresenting him.

No, please don’t get me wrong here – I’m not picking on anyone, just pointing out that we could all be a lot worse off. we do actually have it pretty good here in the UK. I log on and always see a lot of people moaning and it really isn;t that bad.

Elf has in the past made out that where he lives in London is a shit hole – maybe so? Come to Scotland, I’ll show you many more but none even come close to other parts of the world.

Looking at what I wrote it kid of make sme look I’m picking on Elf – I’m not – I’m just trying to make the point that the UK really is pretty good. Apologies if I pffended anyone.

Sue – it was meant as a light hearted, you could be worse…. blah blah blah!

Please don’t take it seriously. I do a lot of things for charity and a lot of things for ou rlocal community – why? because I like to. I don;t think of any less of anyone at all. The way you wake up and feel bad sometimes – we all do.

Your normal haha!

What I walk through everyday – I choose to do that, I would never expect anyone to do it.

I kjust wake up veryday and think “yeah, this is bad but at the end of thday I get to go home!”

That probably sounds bad too – I don’t mean it too.

Okay, my advice… you wake up – hey we’re breathing, le’s see what we can acheive today. Wether it be for ourselves or someone else it doesn’t matter – we’re doing it!

That is what counts…

The Italian says, “When I’ve a finisheda makina da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees,she floatsa 6 inches abovea da bed in ecstasy”.

The Frenchman replies, “Zat is nothing, when Ah ‘ave finished making ze love with ze girlfriend, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick zer soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy”.

The Aussie says, “Mate, that’s nothing. When I’ve finished shaggin my chick, I get out of bed, walk over to the window and wipe my dick on the curtains. And MATE ….. She hits the bloody roof”.