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epicyclo - MemberBear in mind he is probably feeling under stress too. Crank it up a bit and try to look impervious to him.
Good luck.
Good point
How does she smell?
Badly. She had a knock on the head just before I met her. Luckily it only affected her sense of smell.
I myself had a bang on the head and then lost my sense of smell, but they're not connected.
What do we want?
A cure for Tourettes!
When do we want it?
****!
😉
My dog smells awful.
What do we want?
To lose weight!
When do we want it?
After lunch!
Ear, Clubber; did you just call me a ****?
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She doesn't really... she just thinks I'm a ****.
Elfin - I didn't call you a *. I called you a * 😉
No mention of weeing in shoes or ownership of bombers. Dear me this forum is slipping. Time for a flounce.
[i]We're all behind you. [/i]
Definitely. I'm looking at your bum.
Dirty bastid. 😡
Punch 'im in the marf, Sue!
Sue. It sounds like your superiors are taking you seriously but I don't think it would help your cause to argue with their terminology.
When you are having a hard time, try thinking of the hard times you've had in the past. Then remind yourself that you are still here, you got through those times and that sooner or later these hard times will be just memories like the others. Think about the things in your life outside work that the person giving you grief cannot affect. Unless you are also homeless, going through a marriage breakup and unemployed, all of which happened to me more or less simultaneously about 20 years ago there's probably plenty in your life to be positive about. They were bad times to be sure but I now like to think they have given me a better perspective on life.
Don't tell IHN, but I'm behind him, looking at [i]his[/i] bum
See. Not so clever now, is he?
"weeing in shoes" is a bit harder if you're a girl - directional control issues and all that 🙂
Statement drafted with a more rational, professional head on - one of the advantages of the type of work I do is that I'm at least well-used to putting forward a coherent, evidence based case. I have some concerns about having some input into what happens next - it would appear that decsions about my future position might be determined without consultation, which I'm not particularly happy with.
And yes, in some ways I can see some of the reasons behind his behaviour - most bullying is driven by insecurity. If he had expressed it as that, rather than doing what he did, he would have had my full sympathy and support.
As a few of you have said, it is partly timing - it been combined with illness, winter weather, the bombardment of OTT xmas 'festivities', and having one of those periodic 'dealing with getting over seperation' moments (usually fine, raises it's head at Xmas / birthday times etc).
But I have dealt with far, far worse than this and got through / over it, so i know that this situation will pass as well. And in the meantime, if it would just stop being so blooming windy!, I have a dog to walk and a bike to ride 🙂
Once again everybody, many thanks. You are all absolutely AWESOME 🙂
it would appear that decsions about my future position might be determined without consultation, which I'm not particularly happy with.
Not acceptable. Dare I say Union? You must not be disadvantaged for whistleblowing. Your organisation will have a series of policies on how to deal with these sorts of situations
The one thing that you need to remember is that nothing that they think, say or do matters in any way shape or form. Why would it matter?
TJ - Union involved already, situation rather complicated. Will e-mail you off-forum later, if that's OK?
Hang in there Sue, it'll get better. Was in a similar situation for a long period of time, which resulted in being signed off for 5 months and a lot of impact on my health. Feel free to email if you want help /advice (in similar line of work).
Make time for you and do things you enjoy.
Sue aren't you in Cardiff? Or was that only occasionally?
Sue only goes to Cardiff when she has to sort out Wales. 🙂
[i]Don't tell IHN, but I'm behind him, looking at his bum[/i]
More than I like to watch, I like to [i]be[/i] watched. Mmmm...
DGOAB - thanks. (did you get your cx bike choice sorted?)
molgrips - I don't live in Cardiff - usually down there every couple of weeks, or alternatively heading for London or sometimes Edinburgh.
Uncle Jezza to the rescue 😀
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More than I like to watch, I like to be watched. Mmmm...
You're on a win/win at the moment. Give us a wiggle 😉
[i]Give us a wiggle [/i]
Ask me nicely and I'll give you a stroke 🙂
Errrr, yes. I'm going for a custom build! Between that and the new xc race mtb i want, i'm looking to sell my kidneys to fund it all! 😆 I've just got too many requirements for an off the shelf frame and any which do meet all my requirements are too big...somehow i survived all of October touring round Portugal and Spain on my tripster but in far too much pain to ride it here. Hmm...maybe i should keep the tripster and move abroad.
I was given and read this a few years ago
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I found it very reassuring to read, at a time when I had been made to doubt my ability to do anything right by a workplace bully. It gives a useful insight into the psychology of bullies and how to deal with them.
[url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fighting-Back-Fight-Bullying-Workplace/dp/0077099516 ]Fighting Back[/url]
I have a dog called Minton. He steals shuttlecocks, and when he does, I say to him "Bad Minton!"
Has anyone made a joke about times of the month yet?
"weeing in shoes" is a bit harder if you're a girl - directional control issues and all that
Don't allow anatomical concerns get in the way of vengeance! Get a [url= http://www.shewee.com/ ]She Wee![/url]
In all seriousness, I hope it gets sorted for you. Sounds like you've got good colleagues and the company are taking it seriously, so focus on that. I was on a nightmare project a couple of years ago and it nearly caused me to pack in my job, particularly as the guy running the team was a complete dictator and a bully. Fortunately he was elbowed out of the company a few months after the project had finished, but I have to admit, the whole situation still affects me now. :/
Sue, sounds dreadful.
As I have no HR advice to give, some truly appalling jokes:
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said "Nearest to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're closest".
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".
So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "Hey, I might have been on telly, but I'm no Dean Martin".
So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".
But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
Now did you know all male tennis players are witches, for example Goran, even he's a witch.
So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here".
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in..
Two Eskimos were sitting in their canoe and got a bit chilly. So they hey lit a fire in the craft, which sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
Our ice cream man was found lying dead on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Soor fella had topped himself.
Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not unusual."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"
TSY
times of the month
Plural? you have more than one per month? 😆
nickf - PMSL! Thank you
Pretty much all the time Sue.
TSY - ah, that explains a lot 😉
Good luck Sue. I hope that you have a good HR department and a strong CEO. I have yet to see this kind of case reach a positive conclusion, so I hope you can prove me wrong. Too often the HR monkeys simply close ranks and look for the easy rather than the best solution.
Only one piece of advice - do burden your friends, that is why they are friends. Don't do this on your own and internet support can only go so far. Use the real shoulders to "cry-on", your time will come to pay them back. Real friends know that.
Yeah, don't it :raging hormonal simley:
alternatively heading for London or sometimes Edinburgh.
When she has to sort out England and Scotland. 😀
🙁 Pretty grim Sue.
Never been bullied at work but was as a teenager for 3 years and you do carry it round with you, in my experience bullies have masses of their own issues and eventually end up tripping themselves up. Mine was psychological too some times I wish it had been physical blows at least then you have proof eh?
It happened to my friend for quite a while as the DSS she ended up going on the sick. The women tripped herself up bragging about it in the kitchen the door was open the boss heard and off she was walked from the premises....
Keep a diary they always say don't they.... not sure what else to say but have you tried ACAS they're quite good when you ring for advice?
Debs x
especially for Sue
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HTH x
Sue - you're not a victim because you're doing something about it.
I know it can be really hard to think of the good times when you're feeling low but talking really helps. Is there a friend you can trust who you can tell and will be there for you?
You'd be surprised how much better you'll feel having someone to tell you you're not being daft and its a perfectly natural way to feel with everything thats going on.
Trust me having that one person to vent to really makes the difference and as wonderful as the STW lot are sometimes there's no replacement for talking to a 'real' person.
Now for something a little lighter.....
Two goldfish in a tank.
One says to the other, "I'll drive, you man the guns!"
I'll get my coat........
Sue ,
I have a book called 'In Sheeps Clothing' .- Understanding and dealing with manipulative people. Its yours if you want it . Might help a little , its not a long read although its American so some bits dont fully translate . Email address in profile if its a yes .
What do you call a man with a cresent moon on his shoulder?
Wayne.
Sue dont let the bastard get you down, you are doing the right thing so deep breath and keep on keping on.
Sending posi's Sue...If you've been laid up with flu and moping around the house feeling ill and low you're not currently wearing the best suit of armour...Keep your chin up, box clever and remember to play "eye of the tiger" on the way in to work! 😉
Aww, good luck Sue. I'm sure it'll be reet in t'end. The good will out.
Interestingly, a member of my staff has just taken out a grievance against me, citing bullying as the cause. She knew we were investigating her for some fairly serious issues; financial irregularities, CP issues, etc, so we think she went for a pre-emptive strike. She has previous though from before I came into post; with a case against her regarding bullying of both staff and students.
Even though I know I'm in the right, it's the first time in a long, long time that I've felt stressed.
Good luck though. Are you out for elf's chrimbo ride?
Keep being strong!
Sounds tough to say this but you have to keep telling yourself there's light at the end of the tunnel.
You've done a marvelous job so far by the sound of it.
Things have been a bit crap the last 2 months in H manor.
FuturemissusH has been ill in hospital for the past 2 and a half months (last 5 weeks in Bristol and we live in Gloucester).
I've virtually been running the house on my own with 5 kids ages 14 to 2.5 years, add in a massive bust up with my parents and going onto unpaid leave from work and it's been a bit busy to say the least.
However Carol might be coming home tomorrow so things are looking much better,
you're good times will be back, you just need to keep telling yourself that.
Darren
Oh, just seen this 🙁
Sending my biggest hugs and kisses.
Stand up to bullies. They hate it. I was bullied for ages at school, but like they say " it does get better!!"
Don't know any jokes, soz