I just 'sharted' in clinic 😳
And then shared it on a public forum.... 😆
Can't say I have.
were you doing "pull my finger" with a patient ?
If not, it doesn't really count
See, if I had a user name where the first result was the name of where I worked I might not have shared 😉
I go in the toilet before it gets to that stage.
No 😐
See, if I had a user name where the first result was the name of where I [s]worked[/s] used to work until earlier today
Possibly FTFY
Yes. 😐
Are we at the top of a hill? It looks like it is downhill from here...
All that wild swimming biting back?
You could let the entire office know with the "Contact Us" feature on the website!
No...
Never pooed or weed myself since my age was double figures.
I haven't but I had a member of staff that did once.
I knew he'd been off with a dodgy tummy for a bit but was back in work. He asked me if he could go home to change & I thought he was pulling a fast one until he explained shit was running down his leg.
Fair play he came back after the clean up too.
I haven't myself,but it does remind me an amusing story.
A few years ago when in Afghan, me and a colleague were in the ablutions, I was brushing my teeth, as he steps out the shower and positions himself in front of the basin to start his shave, he let's rip, with quite a wet one that had lumps in. Cue a very wet brown mush on the floor, I laughed so very hard, colleague with a very sheepish,embarrassed look on his face says, "Stu I hope we can keep this to ourselves". Well I have never ran out into a corrider so fast to tell the rest of the lads about his predicament.
Funnily enough, about an hour ago. Was on the phone to a colleague and had to hang up on him. Terrifying sudden urge. Contemplated dropping my pants and using the bin in the corner (thankfully I have my own office)
Composed myself and walked briskly but only made it as far as the disabled toilets. A very close call.
Well I have never ran out into a corrider so fast to tell the rest of the lads about his predicament
and now all of us 😉
I was always told to keep a fresh pair of pants in the car, coz one day you'll need them.
For you, I guess today is that day.
Shat myself in the car on the way to work once. Full on out of the back of my trousers too (I had a dodgy stomach and was off sick the day before).
Phoned into the office to explain (it was a colleague who answered so I was ok to explain the details) and then released I was on speaker phone...
I just 'sharted' in clinic
In honour of a certain bewigged entrepreneur and his golf resort, I'm now calling this phenomenon a Trump Turnberry.
stinkingdylan - Member
lol
Boardinbob's story reminds me of a couple of years ago when I was visiting our US offices and was sick in the bin in office I was borrowing for the day. Went in next day and guy was back in his office. Expected him to enquire as to the whereabouts of his bin, but he just said hello!
But shit, only ever as a kid on way home from school...
No but got shat on a by an absent dog once. Commuting by bike, nipped out to town to pick up cash at lunchtime - it had been raining hard and I nipped down a grassy embankment. The rear tire slopped a giant sodden great dane-turd under my arse/crotch as was off the saddle obviously sat on it without knowing - *splooge* -realised this as approached cashpoint as felt a bit fudgey and the stank was gag-ripe. Tried to clean with handfuls of grass but just spread it further down legs. Cash lobby horror. Grabbed cash fast, turned to see nice lady colleague from work was standing waiting next in line behind me. Horrified I smiled a greeting red-faced and legged it pronto leaving the gaseous miasma in yhe lobby. Did she see my brown chaps or not? I asked her mate at work if she had mentioned I smelled of shit - so what did she do? Only go and ask the girl 'if He had smelled of shit!?'
'No' - came back the answer. I hated life that day.
Does that make you a "poo-diatrist"??
Think the OP has put his foot in it with this thread
He's blown it big style
Nope, but I remember Greg Lemonde's awesome dose in Le Tour circa '86. Explosive.
This thread is so full of shhhiiiii
Never shat, but a few years ago girlfriend and family invited us to the Food And Drink show at the NEC. However the night before we got really drunk. Next day (at the show) I am walking around with the hangover from hell. Gets to a point where I need to vomit, the girlfriend handed me something quick to puke in, which it turns out is a clear plastic bin bag.
We didn't last long after that. 😛
As Carl's colleague would have it
Don't know much about history
Don't know much Biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French i took
But I do know that that noise was you
And the smell says that you followed through
What an absolute fool you must be
Awesome post. Been a while since a poopie topic has been on here. Keep em coming folks.
theotherjony, that's brilliant!
Friend of mine used to relay tales of a co-worker who was prone to trumps impressive in both volume and diversity. I'm told that a commonplace event was for him to declare after a particularly loud and moist one, "whoops, I'd better go and check that one" and run off to the toilets clutching a spare pair of grundies he'd always bring to work in case of mishaps.
What he did with the old ones my mate never disclosed, and I never had the courage to ask.
Oh, yeah,
I should add, the bloke in question, his occupation was head chef in a restaurant.
*boik*
Paula was at work...
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Most people think she just had a wazz...
No, but I once shat my pants riding my motorbike on the way home in Thailand.
I knew I needed a big one, thought I could risk it a fart, maybe it was the bent over riding position, the food, or the fact that I over squeezed due to honing it down the road, either way up the back of my jeans, out over the top, up my back, on the pillion seat.
All I could do was keep on hoofing it home the remaining 50km or so.
Lineker was at work too...
Guy at work was playing golf at Turnberry, Kintyre course, got to the 8th hole - about as far away from the clubhouse as you can get, and had a wee fart on the tee. Turned out to be a live round, and he limped penguin style back to the clubhouse.
He was wearing fawn trousers, and as the brown viscose mass started to show through the erse of his trousers, The said trousers were said to look like the burning map at the beginning and end credits of the old TV show 'Bonanza'.
Been known ever since as 'Bonanza pants' 😀
🙂
Had a colleague poo himself in a works van, went absolutely everywhere!! He lived on a diet of beans and fizzy drinks so the evacuation was very liquid and nuclear-levels of staining. The van was deep cleaned but it was to no avail.
It was scrapped. The stuff had gone everywhere so was cheaper just to buy a new one!!
I sharted at work once. Fortunately I was 14, it was a paper round and I was only about 3 houses from home! Got the day off school too 🙂
I just 'sharted' in clinic
Gambled and lost eh?! Bummer.
I did. Had a general alarm in the prison laundry & was one of the 1st there to find 3 pi$$ed up prisoners swinging metal bars about (stillage corner bars) & generally threatening everyone & anyone.
I didn't literally 'sh!t' myself but it was that kind of situation.
"Have you had an accident at work that wasn't your fault?"
