Me and my partner have split up. She is planning to have my daughter christened which I’m totally against. I am non religion and think religion cause’s a lot of problems. I was never christened as a child as my mum is the same as me – atheist.

I have parental responsibility for my daughter but her mother (my ex) seems intent on the circus that the christening will be…she has no interest in following the path of god…she just wants a good piss up/party and to take lots of photos of my daughter in her christening gown – hence to say Im not invited.

Is there anything I can do? I have made my feelings quite clear to my ex but she has basically stuck 2 fingers up to me.

The kid will be too young to understand so it doesn’t really matter

Sounds like you object to the results of religion. However, you say your ex has no intention of bringing your daughter up like that. So… what’s the problem with her doing some dressing up and having a party??

It’s meaningless at the best of times and doubly so if it’s done like this, some of the best heathens were christened. Though I think I understand why it would be upsetting, mind.

if she has custody and you’re not invited then no, unfortunately, there’s not a lot you can do.

You could always gatecrash the party dressed in furry backward cloven-hoofed legs with some comedy horns & a big pointy spear, but TBH I don’t think you’d be doing yourself any favours

no sadly just hope they dont choose a religous school

my point exactly……….its a farce!

sorry i’m just venting my anger…i know i need to keep my dignity!

We had our twins christened recently and we are both atheist, although I would probably class myself as an aggressive agnostic and the wife insists she is just abstaining from the whole question of faith.

We did it to give them the option in the future. If they want to follow a religion so be it. Also for the mother-in-law(s) and to get our friends together to celebrate a bit.

Personally don’t think it will make a difference how we bring them up.

religion is the root of all evil…i stand by that…look at the middle east, the vatican…need I say more!

Chillax.

As long as she knows its annoying you the more she will dig her heals in, also as she’s your ex it seems like she knows what buttons to push to pi$$ you off knowing your Atheist, who gives a to$$ its just some dumb ritual just go along and have a giggle and a nice debate with the Vicar.

Fundamental atheism is as dangerous as any other fundamentalism. Put on an agnostic hat and go along and enjoy the celebration.

I think christenings have just become a chance for parents to have a “look at us, come look at our baby” they seem to be more about the party and meal now than they were years ago.

We had to go to one recently and the mother spent the whole time taking pics on her phone and most the guests talking during the service. Got home to see she had been uploading to FB straight away.

My bro and his wife made a big thing about having a humanist ceremony and now my sister in law has decided she wants to get my nephew christened.

no sadly just hope they dont choose a religous school

I teach in a high achieving C of E school. They don’t push the worship side, more the community aspect which is fine by me. Would have no problem with the sprogs attending. Although maybe not while I am still teaching there.

allthepies x10

Don’t fight it. No-one wins and your daughter just sees more unnecessary fighting. Save the fights for the important ones. MOre importantly, if you feel this strongly about it you need to work on being able to deal with it if she decides in the end that she has some form of ‘Faith’ as Duke mentioned

A bit of water being splashed on the head can’t do any harm 🙂

it’s irrelevant. chill. it doesn’t mean your daughter is in anyway sold into a cult, marked for the convent, brainwashed or tattooed with the flames of the lord etc.

She’s just using it as a way to wind you up. Don’t let it.

Don’t worry about it, its not like she’s having a tattoo or anything – so no one knows.

Find out where the baby is getting christened and speak to the minister and voice your concerns to them. I would hope that that would stop them from performing the ceremony.

her mother (my ex) seems intent on the circus that the christening will be…she has no interest in following the path of god…she just wants a good piss up/party and to take lots of photos of my daughter in her christening gown

Standard at most Christenings, almost a fashion / tradition these days, even for the non believers!

Is there anything I can do?

Stop worrying about much to do about nothing & channel your energy into something positive??

if you were a women Id be calling you a crank…

I am non religion and think religion cause’s a lot of problems.

Problems like creating a fuss over nothing ?

Do you think something magical will happen to your child if she is christened ?

Or is it all the “symbolism” which is behind a christening that you are concerned about ?

You sound as if you need a religion mate 💡

How about a naming ceremony instead?

I was Christened, I’ve turned out to be an Atheist so it was a bit of a waste 🙂 Given the choice I would have declined, but its not like its affected me in any way. My younger Brother was also Christened but the youngest two weren’t, as by then my parents decided they could decide to get Christened later if they wanted.

Neither of my kids have been christened as my partner and i decided that they should make their own choice when they are old enough to make an educated decision on the matter, both sets of grandparents were not happy about this but i simply pointed out that no-one has the right push their beliefs onto others simply because they believe it’s right.
One **** i used to work with even said to me that they would burn in hell as a result to which i replied who the **** needs a religion like that!.

No more hypocritical than getting married in church for people who never go and don’t intend to in the future

Churches are just as bad taking the money regardless of the circumstances

I was the same, daughter ended up at a good school, she’s done well.

Daughter more important than me, my views, or anything………

If things have got a bit ragged between you and the ex then you really need to pick your battles – this isn’t one of them.

Bit arlarse not inviting you mind.

Just go along with it, when your daughter is old enough she will make her own mind up about her beliefs.

My daughters have been christened Greek Orthodox, blame the wife…

I am a dyed in the wool atheist but I just went along as it made my life easier and I managed to get some bike bits through a bit of horse trading.

Biggest pile of nonsense ever, but as there were loads of greeks there we got a few quid out of I suppose.

Is there anything I can do?

yes there is. Chill. If you’re an atheist then presumably you believe that there are no gods to be appeased or promised to, so the ceremony is a harmlessly meaningless charade.

How about having another naming ceremony for your daughter under the auspices of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (may His Noodly Appendage touch you!) or the Invisible Pink Unicorn? Invite the wife. See if she likes the p1ss-up then!

We’ve decided to let our two make their own minds up , neither me or the missus are believers , but we send our oldest to a C of E school. The reason is it was getting the best Ofsted reports for our area across the range of subjects taught which gives him a better chance to do well.

He regularly comes home saying ‘God did this Jesus did that’ we just say ‘that is what many people believe and when you get older you can decide if you believe it too’ , at the moment God is winning. 🙄

Presumably as the father you have the right to be there and involved in the ceremony. You could keep youself amused by slightly too loudly (but in your nicest and most resonable manner) telling the vicar what you think of religion and those involved in organised religion and that you object to your sprog being involved in the sharade just before it starts. Might be fun watching every squirm.

SBrock ive not indoctrinated my kids, i’ve also never been done and I don’t intend to. Organised religion just does not feel free in my mind but if it elevates the happiness of people then thats great.

I’m no hippy, but me and my wife are of the view that the kids can make their minds up when they are older. They need to make that call themselves and when the time is right their decision will be informed and theirs alone.

I see your point but as others have said i’d not worry too much.

If it clearly bothers you as much as you say then religion may have more of a hold on you than you probably realise?

Listen to ‘I am mine’ by Pearl Jam to work out the meaning of life in over 3 minutes flat!

At the end of the day, what does it really mean? If your ex is happy planning the parade, leave her to it. There will be far more important matters in the future.

We did it to give them the option in the future. If they want to follow a religion so be it

You don’t have to have been christened as a baby to become a Christian later in life. You can be christened later if you want.

Lil Meg has not been christened.

You could keep youself amused by slightly too loudly (but in your nicest and most resonable manner) telling the vicar what you think of religion

He’ll have heard it all before, and if he’s any good he will have a good answer for you.

Buy your daughter a copy of the Qur’an, and a Hijab.

That will teach your ex to force religion onto your daughter.

My daughters have been christened Greek Orthodox,

Oh that’s terrible, to give them both such a strange name!! Was it in a CofE church?

Both of my daughters where christened, both went to church school followed by catholic school, both now have absolutely no interest in religion, and they are fine.