I don't actually know what this means!? Can anyone translate?

"The only women I know never wanted to sleep with me, but I'm still hanging around them anyway". 🙂

sometimes he stopped fancying them i.e "historic remnants of"

Or they took out restraining orders.

"My female acquaintance consists almost entirely of a series of assymetrical sexual attractions, or the historic remnants of the same."

he lusts after unobtainable women, or those who have previously rejected him…

It's like a teenage girl's novel in Big Dummy's world…full of angst and longing, but without the grinding lezzer action in the last chapter…

Edit to add: Is this you Big Dave?

That is the sort of look I try to go for. Never seems to work strangely enough…

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.

grinding lezzer action in the last chapter…

Now thats my sort of book.

a 100 kg Antarctic fur seal pinned down a 15 kg king penguin

Poor thing

"My female acquaintance consists almost entirely of a series of assymetrical sexual attractions, or the historic remnants of the same."

I thought he meant he wasn't getting anyway because his face is all lopsided, or their face's are lopsided, or gadamit there is something lopsided.

His face is all lopsided, but don't mention it, he'll get all wound up, and all we'll hear about for days is anti lobsided cream…

Really, you were doing so well up to that point. You've blown it now…

You bitch. I've been a frickin' mirror image of myself for weeks. 👿

BigDummy – Member
You bitch. I've been a frickin' mirror image of myself for weeks.

raiders of the lost ark face melter style!

(for the MBUK readers, that was a film from before when you were born, when people wore their trousers round their waists)

Thanks for explanations, it's all clear now! Harsh though

has she heard about yer really small penis or something?

orrrrr … you could go out with her lots more times and (listen) till you learn something about women?

orrrrr …. you could get her really pissed one neet and "take yer chances";O)
its all good, Lol

orrrrrrrrr … you could introduce her to me and i'll show you how its all done … and tell you all about it afterwards too (like the Cad i am) tee hee hee 😉

do you have a friend who works in an abattoir? if so ask them to help out, clear out your living room (or dining room) and then invite said lady around for the evening and ensure that you wear your most seductive crab outfit as you beckon her to join you upon your lovingly constructed marital bed of meat?

"I'm convinced it going to waste my time and energy!"

Cultivating good friends is a very good use of time and energy. Unless you've actually fallen for her already and it hurts. In which case I'd go for broke.

Cultivating good friends is a very good use of time and energy. Unless you've actually fallen for her already and it hurts. In which case I'd go for a bloke.

there you go, fixed it for you 😀

I'm really struggling not to think about the bed of meat. I can almost feel its cold, oozy clamminess, and smell its odour. 😯

Drink loads of Jack Daniel's and ginger beer on the rocks, then go to her place of residence in the small hours and serenade her with Pantera's Vulgar Display of Power in it's entirety.

Steak and blow job by Wednesday or your money back.

"In which case I'd go for a bloke."

Not for me ta, but I'm not stopping you! 😀

I wonder why she has 'gone off' …

– a bloke who thinks women he does not have sex with are valueless people?

– a bloke who sees no value at all in genuine friendship and fun

– a bloke who sulks and writes people off the moment he does not get what he wants from them?

Gee, a mystery isn't it?
I think you need to evaluate yourself, not her!

CG could you please e-mail me to explain what it is we guys don't get? Seriously, some insight into the female psyche would help a lot. Remember my recent post? No progress but still ongoing.

Well done Mrsgrips – a woman poster who hasn't been smug and patronising.
As for the others who know…….we simple men are all aware that women have to have a 'board meeting' involving at least 6 close friends and copious amounts of wine/chocolate and watch a film involving Colin Firth/Hugh Grant before they can posssibly consider a new [strike]shag[/strike] partner.

To the OP – you are obviously walking around like a dick on legs and she's testing you to see if is all you want is a rummage in her lycra. Chill out, if she like you and vice versa, what is the problem with going along the 'friends' route and seeing what develops ?

Guys – are we not fragrant? Alluring? Irresistable? Indecisive? Irritating? Look – half the time we just don't know what we want so that's why you can't possibly be expected to know. 🙄

Make an effort – flowers but not from the petrol station. A small bunch of scented freesias or stock – nothing vulgar. A very small box of high quality chocs.

pop larkin – Member
CG is a lesbian

May I draw your attention to this post:

Deporsonalisation project moves forward

I look forward to Saturday mornings when I visit my local Waitrose. Only use the basket checkout mind cos I like to flirt outrageously with the rather charming student chaps they employ on that till.

Dunno where they find them but essential requirements for that job at Waitrose has to be a winning smile and have attended charm school.

I am all woman and, it has to be said, a handful. 😉

One day I'll pluck up enough courage to ask relationship advice on STW…. but not until I can get my head around grafting seals onto the backs of scorned lovers 😕

I am all woman and, it has to be said, a handful.

And, I suspect, a generation removed from the OP 😉

I think some folk have inadvertently thought they were posting on the fetish site!

Some very amusing replies and quite an insight into the male mind. Actually it's terrifying. 😯

genghis – sorry to hear but don't give up. On a serious note I reckon people simply do not know how to communicate away from a keyboard. As for relationships, I guess the older you are the more scary the dating thing becomes so the easy option is to avoid it. But life isn't easy so would just suggest knowing when to be assertive but still being yourself. Good luck!

if rape is considered to be such hilarious fun, are we soon to discover that child abuse is merely well deserved "tough love" ?

Sfb – what are you wittering on about?

quite an insight into the male mind

Possibly most folk on here are holding back too. There's plenty more where that came from i'm sure….

Go on BontyBuns – enlighten us girlies please. 🙂

then when she has the resulting crash

**** her while she is still warm, if she's twitching a bit just pretend it's with passion not blood loss and shock.

think of it more like an internal CPR

**** her while she is still warm, if she's twitching a bit just pretend it's with passion not blood loss and shock.

think of it more like an internal CPR

😆 😆 😆 Yeah, I know it's sick but that is funny.

Go on BontyBuns – enlighten us girlies please

Is it just me or are you making a pass.

It's possible i think that about evey situation.

Theres nothing wrong with ego just like theres nothing wrong with the sun but unlike the sun the ego can be infinite. x

thank you kindly, it's from the lighter side of my psyche 😉

I know it's sick but that is funny.

if you're a psychopath…

don't mess with a cyclepath!