fopund this tongue in cheek write up i did for the coast to coast
made me smile

Itinerary for Coast to Coast Off Road Adventure
Mon 28th July – Sunday 3rd August 2008
Dear Simon & Gary
Here’s your itinerary for your forthcoming break. If you have not started training yet, can I suggest you do right now, put the letter down, get changed and get cycling don’t forget:
Dream, Plan, Achieve
I’ve planned; all you have to do is Dream & Achieve!

Day 1- Black Sail Tester
Route Distance: 27.9 Mi Acc: Woolpack Inn 01946 723320
Total Ascent: 3884 ft Total Descent: 3648 ft
Elevation Profile

0800 hrs Arrive by Motor Carriage at Pennine View Caravan Park, Station Road, Kirkby Stephen.
Transfer Cycles and baggage to our carrier for the week, Packhorse Courier Services, for transport to the start of the ride St Bees.
1030: Collect our obligatory pebble from the Irish Sea, place it in our backpacks and begin our epic 7 day adventure, in front of us is 210 miles of the finest off road riding in the country, riding from the West Coast of England through Cumbria and then into the North Yorks National Park, finishing 7 days later on the East Coast at Robin Hoods Bay. You will be staying at handpicked local hostelries that serve home brewed real ale and fine food
As we leave St Bees, the prevailing wind on our backs we slip along quiet country roads to the old rail tracks which quickly transport us to the shores of Ennerdale Water. This has been our usual overnight stop, but as an added challenge, on this journey we will be passing by this stop and continuing on to the foot of Black Sail Pass, standing at the foot of the pass always seems a daunting task, but experience has shown that once we start the ascent it seems the summit is just a short hike away. The summit however does not mean unbridled downhill fun, the first few hundred yards is very loose and unrideable, then afterwards it’s still a tricky descent into the tourist honey pot that is Wasdale Head.
Out of Wasdale then a long slog onto Burnmoor Tarn, riding the boggy and tufted grass across the plateau has caught us out in the past, so be careful here, then it’s a fantastic Rock Strewn narrow single track stretch into our first nights Stop, at The Woolpack Inn, which has its own Micro Brewery. It will be late afternoon by now, and as the evening sun hangs low in the sky, we can sample the local ale, relax outside the pub and wonder what the next day’s riding will have in store for us.

Day 2- Walna Scar Road
Route Distance: 26.4 Mi Acc: Town End YHA 01539 447165
Total Ascent: 4819 ft Total Descent: 4667 ft
Elevation Profile

As we set off today it’s a short ride along tarmac to the foot of Birker Fell, which is a good rideable track if you have put the training in before hand, if not it’s a 40 minute push to the top, but a great push at that,through deep fern banks with a fantastic view down the valley from where we originally came. A tricky ride through an old forest with tree stumps and deep bogs to catch the unwary out, then a steep slip slide down to the stepping stones, where we take the obligatory photos of us gingerly negotiating the stones over the river.
This provides a brief distraction for what is to come, 2000ft of climbing over Walna Scar road, about 2 miles away. As we approach there are no hidden vistas, no false summits, just a dark ribbon of steep unforgiving singletrack stretching out as far as the eye can see, a mixture of pushing and brief riding will see us at the summit in approx 2 hours, triumphantly sitting at the base of the Old man, looking down onto Coniston, with a excellent 30 minutes of rocky singletrack in front of us, the first 10 minutes very tricky, then afterwards it’s a rambler scattering mix of wide tracks and rock steps that spits us out into Coniston , hopefully in the early Afternoon. If we are very brave we could try a Pint of Bluebird at the Sun Inn, if running late, a cup of tea and a cake in the local café. Then it’s a short run on Tarmac to High Tiberthwaite, a great run along Loughrigg Terrace into bustling Ambleside, and a easy home run on the main Road to our second stop The YHA at Troutbeck, which is set high on the hillside, giving great views of Windermere, and as a bonus it now sells Black Sheep Ale.

Day 3- Moors Murderer
Summary
Route Distance: 35.8 Mi Acc: Black Bull Inn 01768 371237
Total Ascent: 5383 ft Total Descent: 5227 ft
Elevation Profile

Another good climb right from the off today, we leave the Hostel and after 10 minutes we are slogging up the Garburn Pass, last time we did this it was wet and miserable, hopefully we will be basking in the early morning sun, pedaling through the morning mist spirits high!. A Very Rocky descent into Kentmere brings on some familiar riding territory for the next few miles. A good rocky testing descent to the foot of Sadgill, which hold fears for some in the party, but this trip is different, I have carefully planned the wet weather route on the GPS, along Mosedale and we will also have printed maps, so the crossing although difficult, will be safe and part of this week’s challenge.
So a sapping ride across this moor will bring us out in Shap, where we will refuel, and carry on along easy backroads to our stop at Kirkby Stephen. We will be staying at a cosy local Pub the Black Bull, which again serves Real Ales and homemade food.

Day 4- Halfway House
Summary
Route Distance: 24.8 Mi Acc, Kings Arms Hotel 01748 884259
Total Ascent: 2968 ft Total Descent: 3517 ft
Elevation Profile

By now we should be used to the weight of a pack on our backs and the day to day grind of 30 odd miles off roading and our legs will be supple dynamos. We set off from Kirkby, along the high moors that are England’s Watershed, the rain falling on the high moors is destined to run to either coast by the will of the prevailing wind. We however have a set course and will be following our noses to the Tan Hill Pub, England’s highest Hostelry, and cuppa and a snack will take us along the Pennine way, with a bit of Bunny Hopping and a lazy day skirting wide stony tracks into the beautiful little Dales village of Reeth, we are booked into the Kings Arms Hotel, bit pricey, but has a big log fire , good food and comfy beds, how does that sound for 3 saddle weary bikers?. A good feed and rewatering will fortify us for the 5th day,

Day 5- Easy Rider
Summary,
Route Distance: 32.3 Mi Acc: Vane House 01609 883448
Total Ascent: 2277 ft Total Descent: 2386 ft
Elevation Profile

Only 13 Miles off Road today, and most of that is fine tracks along forested singletrack, so although there is a fair bit of distance to cover, this should be an easy day where we can spend time in Richmond, have a lazy early lunch then kill the road section along quiet country lanes to end the day we end the day in Osmotherley at Vane house, which is a cosy B&B

Day 6- High Plains Drifter
Summary
Route Distance: 31.7 Mi Acc: Arncliffe Arms 01947 897555
Total Ascent: 4659 ft Total Descent: 4652 ft
Elevation Profile

As we set off from Osmotherley our thoughts are now with our final aim and destination, we can almost smell the sea air and fresh fried fish of Robin Hoods Bay. Don’t get too glossy eyed yet, there’s still 2 days of fantastic but testing riding ahead. Today will provide some wonderful moors riding along with some boggy parts if the weather is unkind to us. We cross Scarth Wood Moor, Urra Moor and Glaisdale Rigg today, and it can be fantastic high plains drifting along ribbons of sandy tricky tracks, that will spit you out into the soft purple heather cushions if total concentration is not forthcoming,
If Its wet, a Boggy push and honk routine may be required, we will have to wait and see what the weather has in store for us!.
As we cruise along the final stretch of wide , hopefully dusty moor road into Glasidale , we will already have spotted the Sea on the East coast and are nearing the end of our epic adventure. There will be a sense of achievement filling our well exercised , sun beaten bodies along with a tinge of disappointment that the trip is coming to an end. The Arncliffe Arms has some fine ales on offer, and this is the usual celebration stop before the last day!

Day 7- End of the Road Run
Summary
Route Distance: 24.9 Mi
Total Ascent: 2759 ft Total Descent: 3282 ft
Elevation Profile

The last day is the least as far as effort and off road expertise is concerned, We will pass through some beautiful villages on route that are used for the Heartbeat T.V Series, and then more riding on honey colored moors tracks that should be covered in Purple heather, but the most satisfying experience is dropping down through the steep cobbled streets of Robin Hoods Bay, passing the day trippers with ice creams in hand, They look at the dirty weary bikers, not knowing the feeling of achievement and comradeship that they are feeling. We drop into the harbour, toss our pebble into the North Sea, firmly shake our riding partners by the hand and pat ourselves on the back, for this was an epic adventure and we will take memories with us that will light up our eyes when our bodies have long refused to cycle onto the high moors, and the only damp feeling we get in the seat of our pants is our own piss.
Well done Coast 2 Coast heroes!

Easygirl
Really good write up of the Coast to Coast, we are doing exactly the same in June as a guided trip this year using very similar stopover points. Lovely time of year to do it when the heather moors are in flower, hope we get dry dusty trails too.

If anyones planning the coast to coast we (Dales Bike Centre)are just outside of Reeth right on the route. We've 14 bed accommodation and for those staying with us a very warm welcome is assured, we'll even do a free tune up of your bike.

IF anyone is doing it this year ENJOY!!

ohh and do call in give us a shout

Nice write up mate.

We are doing it next May. Cant wait.

Nice right up doing it this june. Hoping for 4 to 5 days. Biving as much as poss

Biving as much as poss

You might want to have a quick shufty at this Luke :p