Due to circumstances beyond my own and anyone else's control, I've been left in a situation where I can't tie my own shoe laces. Can anyone help me out? Or maybe offer any advice? As I'm not capable of thinking for myself, for some reason!

Wiping my own arse is also becoming problematic…

😉

Sorry you need the bike forum for arse wiping problems….

No, it's not funny; I've suddenly been rendered incapable of working anything out for myself, and feel compelled to ask others on an internet cycling forum…

May I recommend Iain's Shoelace Site

But there's nothing there, GrahamS; just an empty void…. 🙁

I'd love to help but I too am suffering and due to circumstance beyond my control I've completely forgotten how to type, sorry.

What do you look like? If you're kind of cute, with a six-pack and big guns, I might come round and help you.

If not, sorry, I'm busy 😉

I was going to reply but I've forgotten how to work my PC.

I'd love to help, but I just don't care and prefer to look on and mock from afar. Does that make you feel better?

sorry for the thread hijack but ive just breathed in and cant remember what to do next

any advice

NEVER FAILS!!!!!!!! IT WILL ALL COME FLOODING BACK!!!!!!!

I've tried and tried to tie you, shoe.
I've never done it yet.
A loop that flip-flops on the floor
Is as close as I can get.
I've practiced on spaghetti.
I've practiced on the mop.
I've practiced on my sister
Until she made me stop.
So here's the loop again, shoe.
I'll hold it with my thumb.
I'll wrap the other end around…
And yank it into bows.
It's done!

I've long suspected from your moronic ranting on here that these simple tasks may have been beyond you but thanks for the confirmation all the same.

peterpoddy: are those available with SPD fittings?

Apologies for not getting back sooner, but I completely lost all power of rational thought, and was thus rendered even more useful then ever!

😉

What do you look like? If you're kind of cute, with a six-pack and big guns, I might come round and help you.

If not, sorry, I'm busy

😯 😮

Help me please Karinofnine for I am frightened…

But there's nothing there, GrahamS; just an empty void…

Ahh frig, missed off the http, sorry.

Here ya go Iain's Shoelace Site

Everybody is missing the crucial question. What shoelaces for trolls?

too busy stumbling over the crumbs from my biscuits.

Karinofnine – Member

What do you look like? If you're kind of cute……….

It depends what you like………….does Leon Trotsky do it for you ?

pfffffffffft!, spilt my coffee!

**** cheek. Look at the state of that barnet!

I keep my hair much neater and tidier than that.

Thank you GrahamS; I don't know what I would have done, without your help.

Even though I've got the same internet access as everyone else, I'm just incapable of thinking for myself, and need help to deal with even the simplest of problems…

What do you look like? If you're kind of cute, with a six-pack and big guns, I might come round and help you.

Well, the reason he can't tie his shoelaces is because he looks more like this –

😛

come on then fred

there's 2 threads up, one's in Barcelona and one in the Italian lakes

how about, in the next hour, you come up with a costed itinerary for them (2 adults) to get home by, say 36hrs from now ?

Why is everyone being cruel and unkind to me? 😥

how about, in the next hour, you come up with a costed itinerary for them (2 adults) to get home by, say 36hrs from now ?

But how on Earth would I do that? Would it require me using the internet to find out information for myself? I just don't think I'm capable of such an incredibly demanding task…

Ah! Penny drops! I was just thinking that pic of Trotsky looks a lot like that self-posted pic of rudeboy, then scaredypants calls Talkemada 'Fred'. Have I missed a trick here?

Have I missed a trick here?

No, it's just that some folk on here seem to think I'm the reincarnation of some tortured soul who used to frequent these parts. I'm not of course, and resent the comparison, as I would like to be recognised in my own right.

I get my mum to tie mine for me. If you ask her nicely she may do yours too.

Anything else you need any help with?

What to have for lunch perhaps?

user-removed, put up something about that girl on lazytown – he won't be able to resist for long

**** cheek. Look at the state of that barnet!

I thought it was remarkably true to life – so watch out for people with ice picks 🙁

Laces – pah, I couldnt find my bol****s in the dark with both hands and a bol***k map, that's how s**t I am.

Trotsky – no, he can tie his own shoelaces – or wear slippers

Vin Diesel – yes, I could be prepared to give him a hand

Vin Diesel – yes, I could be prepared to give him a hand

just don't expect any conversation apart from grunts 🙂

Funnily enough, I've actually been compared to Vin Deisel! Imagine a scaled-down version; still well buff, but not as massive. I've got nicer eyes though. And I'm more intellectual… 🙂

my dog is more intelectual than Vin

Funnily enough, I've actually been compared to Vin Deisel! Imagine a scaled-down version; still well buff, but not as massive. I've got nicer eyes though. And I'm more intellectual…

I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want to make a comment about that but I shan't. No, really I mussent. Not ever. Never ever…..

i never knew there was so much to lacing…

are there other areas of experience that are much more complex than i realised, despite coping adequately this far?

[trundles back over to iain's shoelace site]

there's always http://www.howtowipeyourbutt.com/

Don't be afraid to enter

😯

just a little

😳

Mind you, I've also been likened to Moors Murderer Ian Brady, Charles **** Manson, and all manner of other unpleasant characters… 😥

Mr T!

Scaled down? What scale exactly?

Is this you? (front row left)

Another banned idiot returns under a different name. Great.