My gym’s just re-opened after a refit and they’ve got rid of the bits of equipment I used to use.

I want to cancel my contract, as the service I was using is no longer available. What bit of legislature do I need to quote to them down the phone when they inevitably try and claim it’s not possible?

They’ll claim it’s not possible, because it more than likely isn’t.

Unless the equipment is listed piece by piece in your contract, it’s probably irrelevant that the machine you like isn’t there anymore.

There may even be a get-out in the contract.

You could just say breach of contract in that facilities you joined it for are no longer available. Stop paying, see if they pursue it.

Oh and “legislature” is the body that makes legislation.

Yeah, tell me that one minute after I can edit the post!

It was a bit of a wait, but worth it 😎

I managed it years ago when a gym I used had a complete refit. They bought a different brand and I was physically unable to fit on some of the machines. You probably can’t also use that excuse 😀

Ha! No, but I might try it down the phone

Al 😡

Fake your own death.

Most gym membership contracts can be cancelled upon production of a death certificate by a relative etc.

I drafted part of the T&Cs for a healthclub chain when I was a trainee, that particular provision made me chuckle. The thought of a greiving widow being told by some arsey receptionist that she needs to pop down to her local health club with her recently deceased husband’s death certificate before they would stop taking payments seemed a little harsh. Which is why I put it in there 🙂

Seriously though, it’s not hard to mock up a death certificate on your computer and I doubt they would check its legitimacy. Plus, its only fraudlent, so won’t look bad on your CV if you get caught, not like you were touching kids or anything, you just faked your own death because you didn’t like your gyms fitness equipment.

🙂

*fires up Word*

How about just canceliong the direct debit and not going back?
Or walk into the women’s changing area wearing only a towel, or not even wearing a towel. They’ll probably cancel the contract for you.

How about just canceliong the direct debit and not going back?
Or walk into the women’s changing area wearing only a towel, or not even wearing a towel. They’ll probably cancel the contract for you.

Both are likely to be breach of contract, in which case he’ll probably be liable for any remaining sum which would have been paid.

Only real option available is to fake your own death. Someone on here is bound to have a canoe you can borrow?

Or walk into the women’s changing area wearing only a towel, or not even wearing a towel. They’ll probably cancel the contract for you.

Brilliant. Get you own back. Meticulously plan some convoluted Borat/Mr Bean style escapade that involves you running amok with a whole raft of supposedly innocent but massively offensive things, babbling the whole time like demented chicken.

Ideally, get a mate to GoPro it and post the footage – pretty please?

*If you get arrested – this is just a suggestion not advice*

I’ve spoken to them on the phone. Instead of a cancelled contract, I’ve ended up with an hour’s personal training on Monday.

How the hell did that happen?

Most gym membership contracts can be cancelled upon production of a death certificate

Don’t make the mistake of taking in your own death certificate to the receptionist though, they might get suspicious.

I’ve spoken to them on the phone. Instead of a cancelled contract, I’ve ended up with an hour’s personal training on Monday.

How the hell did that happen?

They are trained in sales technique – you are not trained in resisting sales technique

Don’t make the mistake of taking in your own death certificate to the receptionist though.

yes, do just that – tomorrow’s date, cause of death suicide, make sure she reads it, tell her it”s her fault. that should do and you might even get a sympathy blowie as well

Okay so present my post-dated, mocked up death certificate to the receptionist while on the phone to the bank cancelling my direct debit, wearing less than a towel, holding an innocent looking dildo, chatting shit and demanding oral.

I’ll have a canoe parked outside as a back up plan.

Who has a GoPro and is free Monday evening?

i’m in.

introduce me as your legal adviser who will be handling your estate after your imminent death. I’ll turn up wearing a Onesie.

peterfile – Member
i’m in.

introduce me as your legal adviser[u]gimp[/u] who will be handling your estate after your imminent death. I’ll turn up wearing a Onesie.

com’on, get with the plan 😉

Sounds like an xxx episode of the Britas Empire….

just cancel the Direct debit and stop going. ignore all correspondence unless it has a magistrates stamp on it.

Though I doubt it would get to that stage

just cancel the Direct debit and stop going. ignore all correspondence unless it has a magistratesThree-Skilling Yellow stamp on it.

Though I doubt it would get to that stage

FTFY