Recalling the time i had a stand off with a cow at the top of cavedale.

Whilst Si was talking a leak, a cow started to take an interest in his(si’s) bike, i went over to usher it away. Now usually cows just run off but this one took a few steps towards me in an aggressive manner.

What do i do? Raise my fist to punch it.
Now clearly 11st of me aint gonna rock this lump of beef with a ghey slap, so not really sure why i did it.

Anyone else have any tales of strange behaviour, reactions whilst high on bike induced adrenaline?

I think the odd noises while riding one gets me fairly often – rarely motorcycle noises but we do do the Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! on a nice descent

You at least tried to knock out a cow! respect! How hard did you hit it? I mean, I’d need a big brick to help me to floor a cow!

I think if you kill a cow with a single punch you then have to eat the entire thing. Just a rule.

I can get off my bike at the end of a really good ride and just sort of stand there hopping for one leg to the other for quite some time, happy as can be, for a good few minutes before my brain kicks in and tells me to put the bike away and go inside.

I didn’t punch it.. Sod that!
Just stood there with a clenched fist, we eye balled each other for a bit, then it ate grass and i picked up my bike and rode off

Just thought it was a stupid reaction to an inquisitive cow.

Realman, the image of you doing that made me lol.

Anyway, punching and horse not cow vid…
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8cDfnQD0ws[/video]

cool. Grrrrrrr moment! they are big fcukers, there’s no way a human can knock out a cow

there’s no way a human can knock out a cow

If ever there was a challenge on this forum, that’s one. If someone does it and films it will you give them your bike?

I knocked one out round the back of peaslake bus stop once, no one ever knew

If you see a duck you shout “duck” then try to swipe your riding buddie round the head if they don’t Mrs TJ usualy wins that one 🙁

djglover – Member
I knocked one out round the back of peaslake bus stop once, no one ever knew

Well there’s a confession.

Find some mags and discarded undies did you?

I knocked one out round the back of peaslake bus stop once, no one ever knew

😆

djg, realman.. that doesn’t count! no evidence.
Realman.. your assignment if you choose to take it…..

1. go knock out a cow with your fists
2. bring back documentary evidence to this post
3. High qulity jpegs mind

I punched a cow once, on the arse, because it was standing on my foot. My hand and foot were both utterly f’d. The cow didn’t notice.

I climbed on the bonnet of a reversing car , jumped off, opened the drivers door and made like a schoolboy in a playground fight. That was quite bizzare behaviour during a ride (although the ride ended right there).

Imagine the public uproar “Mountain biker filmed punching cow”

The woman who pushed the cat into the bin would soon be forgotten about if this happened 😆

I once turned into a field

An executive field ?

I got headbutted by a sheep jumping over a dry stone wall once.

nah, it was a lower field. slightly left field and well outside of my particular field of interest.

Recalling the time i had a stand off with a cow at the top of cavedale.

I have recently been using an old phone while I waited for my iPhone to be sorted on warranty. I was looking through some of the pictures on there and came across these ones from a couple of years ago when I was stalked and then stared at by some cows.

Menacing.

thank goodness you numbered them, I’d have had no idea what order to look at them in otherwise.

I did come very close to riding into the back of a cow once. Came round the corner of a bit of overgrown singletrack on a night ride and there was a black cow stood facing away from me. Fortunately it turned its head and I caught sight of an eyeball reflection in time. Would have been very messy otherwise.

thank goodness you numbered them, I’d have had no idea what order to look at them in otherwise.

It’s been a slow morning.

wwaswas, that sounds like an episode of “it shouldn’t happen to a vet mountain biker”

Mate ran into a hairy highland cow on a night ride last week!

Two years ago out running a cow headbutted me and broke a rib, usually they get out of the way. This one was by a farm gate I ignored it as usual, I turned to close the gate then turned back and was launched into the air by a head flick! She was protecting her calf which was dead 🙁 so understandable.

The one on the left of Jamie’s 2nd pic looks like it’s done a few rounds with realman already – look at that eye

No idea on the right behaviour but I’ve had stand offs with cows in fields/on trails and I’ve backed off and taken a wide circle thus removing any threat or perceived threat to the cow.

I wouldn’t punch one or aim to either. **** that.

Plus on that widefield/run upto Cavedale it leaves walkers vulnerable to reprisals

I think you’ll find the correct advice is:

Run at it, shouting

i find greeting oncoming cows with a loud but casual “mooo” works, the moment you slow down on your bike they know they’ve won and you gunna get raped boy.

if that doesnt work i’m fully prepared to slow down and let the OH take one for the team as i ride off to “get help”

Got headbutted by a partridge a couple of weeks when I disturbed a huge covey. End of ride in the dark through an area which has had about 16,000 of them put down for shooting. All bedded down but got spooked by the lights and took off en masse. Was like something out of The Birds

if that doesnt work i’m fully prepared to slow down and let the OH take one for the team as i ride off to “get help”

I’m still laughing at ourkidsams noble laying down of his life to a rabid Colly’ that chased us. Oh I could hardly see straight with the tears of laughter as we legged it 😆

Got headbutted by a partridge

Did he ask you to smell his cheese as well?

We were surrounded by a herd of cows on the isle of arran whilst biking. Luckily the missus is a farmers daughter and told the cows the bugger off in a west country accent which seemed to do the trick.

told the cows the bugger off in a west country accent

were the cows on their holidays from Devon, then?

I do tend to talk ‘out loud’ to livestock when I’m out on rides – it lets them know I’m there and, to be frank (particularly with large groups of cows) stops me being so nervous.

I had quite a long conversation with some sheep at a gate once – it really helped get a few things straight in my mind.

Jamie, maybe he said ‘choose your weapons’ then ‘let battle commence’

I have always wanted to try cow tipping

I do know the best way to ward of cattle and other large mammals, shouting and running at them is tried and tested method as is the Mick dundee ‘Hommmmmmmmmmmmmm……………………………….!’ hypnotising trick, which doesn’t work.

TJ, I’ve had varied responses from tipping cattle, most involve a pissed off lump of beef chasing giggling boys across fields in the dark.

waswaswas. I find a can’t have a sensible conversation with sheep as it’s like posting on here. all that baaaaa baaaaabaaaaa, baaaa’s

I was working on my trail which involved cutting a way through a rhododendron infested woodland which if anyone has done this will know how frustrating it is. It was like a personal battle between me and the dreaded ‘rhody’ so I was swearing at it saying things like ‘right I’m going to f****** have you’ etc. Then I turned around to see one of my neighbors standing there. It was quite embarrassing. Too much time in the woods alone is not a good thing.

no word of a lie, this is a true story.

when i was in Vietnam we often hired scooters, as you do. this one day there must have been about 12 of us buzzing around in convoy up to some waterfalls, then to the beach etc. on returning to the town where we were staying and there was a cow slowly walking across the road, all of the group managed to avoid the cow apart from the lass at the back who ploughed right into it. she ended up with a broken wrist but she killed the cow!

Plus on that widefield/run upto Cavedale it leaves walkers vulnerable to reprisals

Cow vengeance 😆

I find a can’t have a sensible conversation with sheep as it’s like posting on here. all that baaaaa baaaaabaaaaa, baaaa

sometimes you don’t really need a sensible answer, just an audience to articulate your thoughts and feelings to 🙂