Forum menu
Creepy; Cows who stare at men. Wasn't that a recent film about the CIA?
Realman.. your assignment if you choose to take it.....1. go knock out a cow with your fists
2. bring back documentary evidence to this post
3. High qulity jpegs mind
What's in it for me? (Apart from fame, and the respect of everyone on STW (obviously))
wasn't that men who stare at goats, about a secret barmy army who used jedi like powers in combat.
Still cow related, i had first hand(well butt) experience of the roughness of a cows tongue, when i was in a field with an ex, one hot sunny sweaty day..
Nothing like a inquisitive herd of 20 cow to make a romantic moment.
I was walking over a field in Cornwall with my wife when a cow (well maybe a big calf) suddenly span around and charged at as.
For some reason I thought the sensible thing to do was charge back at it shouting, the cow got to within a few feet of me and did a four hoof skid, spun around and ran off.
When I looked at my wife she was in tears of laughter, asking me Why on earth had I charged back?
Charging heifer 'breaks' Shropshire farmer's neck
They call them 'effers, but we know what they mean.
Chuck Norris puched a cow so hard it's milk turned straight into butter
I hit a cow many years ago in Oz whilst driving back from Ayers Rock. It was pitch black and the thing was laying on the still warm tarmac. I managed to swerve and just clip it but when we got to Alice springs a better investigation of the front of the van revealed a big chunk of hide hanging from the bumper.....dont know what happened to the cow TBH?
What did the cow do when you punched it? Just wave your hands about making loud noises usually does the trick.
Feeding the Highland cows their barley was always exciting as they tended to get very excited and toss their horns about. Getting them out of the hay heck when they were stuck in the bars was also quite a sensitive job.
1. A few years back, a cow fell onto the bonnet of my gf's dad's car. He'd made the (innocent) mistake of parking by a raised bank near a railway platform ... toodled off to do his own thing ... came back minutes later and only to see a cow sloping off having left a big f&*k off dent on his motor. Unable to believe what he was seeing, he climbed up the bank and saw a whole herd of cows tucked away (previously) out of sight.
2. Not sure how true this is but it's from a reliable mate who called me one night to say he and his mates had made a cow fall over by prodding it somewhere on its back/hind quarters. Could well be b0ll0cks, but TBH I've never known him lie about anything.
Menacing.
No that's just bullocks
i like shouting "baaaa" at cows. it confuses them and other passers-by.
got attacked by a young bull this summer. we had to pass the bikes and clamber down a section of trail and this young bull kept getting nearer. had to use my bike to shield myself and the group.
💡 be careful out there, its a fine line between punching a cow - and fisting one 💡
living in a rural area but a townie of birth, over the last 20 years i thought i had it sussed, shout wave arms and so on till this summer when
charged by a group, sory small herd of young bullocks who were freaked by dogs in the field, i was kicked, butted, and pretty bruised, busted and battered by the whole lot, worst bit was i managed to rip open my finger after being kicked into the barbed wire, lots of stitches and now nerve damage. day after local woman was hospitialised by same bunch, apparently the cows were culled. Several cases in lakes of people being killed by cows. i know plenty of farmers who have been tupped by cows some with more airtime than canadian freeriders
i tell ye dont trust the barstewards....................
ps even wose are lamas/alpacas they bloody shift, spit and bite
No that's just bullocks
Ooof!
tupped by cows
You need the next key to the right, tupping is ovine not bovine.
correct 😆
Candy gram for mongo candy gram for mongo.................. mongo loves candy...............................BOOM
love it, know most of the words for the whole film (sad lonley teen, until i got a Muddyfox!!)
realman- I'm not seeing any picture of knocked out cows?
be careful out there, its a fine line between punching a cow - and fisting one
They have special gloves for that.
bah, with young cows and bullocks especially they are INCREDIBLY inquisitive. anything that moves or smells good will attract them, followed by the rest of the heard, usually in a semi-stampide sort of pace.
normally when i'm out in fields I have a pair of collies, if they were on the lead I would let them off at this point to get them away from me as cows are attracted to the farm like dogs. Then basically do as you would with any other large animal, make yourself look big and walk toward them, generally they will turn & flight, occasionally come back at you whilst crossing teh field, just do the same. With bulls, don't state them in the eye, and if you do, make yourself big & bold, walk where you want, never turn your back etc etc.
bikes, bullocks love bikes, its like christmas for them, all those colours, smells & noises, and moves at aspeed thats good to chase. do as you want, mostly I just keep riding where possible. they'll be a whole heard behind me, just make sure you don't get yourself trampelled at the gate, stop, turn on them, then proceed on foot slowly to the gate. otherwise they will be on your ass like 20tonnes of hot braindead beef ......oh!!... wait 😉
Years ago a friend of mine was heading home from his gfs farm along farm road in the dark on his ped and saw two black and white cows loose on the road there was a space between them so he sped up to get through only there was no space there was a black cow. ouch