We found the NCT classes very useful – I think our lovely NCT lady was way more up to date on the latest medical research about all the random things that people worry about with babies (eg. can babies eat peanuts in the first year) than most of the medical professionals we met. Also, was dead useful having someone else to contact when breastfeeding advice was needed, our particular health visitor was a complete waste of time on that front.
I also found the NCT classes very useful because it meant that I was initiated into the world of babies as well as my wife. So I know some of the parents around town etc. which was good when I was looking after Rose myself. Whereas I think a lot of fathers find themselves a bit separated from that whole world, meaning that if they do end up looking after their kids, they find it hard to get involved in the baby stuff that is going on, as it is weird turning up out of nowhere and being the only guy at the parent and baby group (although I’d still recommend doing it, as people are actually much more friendly than you’d think, and whilst you might feel weird, the babies still enjoy it).
One thing I know a lot of people used not to have the chance to do, but which I can totally recommend if you can work it out financially, is sharing some of the maternity leave time. ie. if your wife goes back to work before a year, take that time yourself to look after the kid. Since April, anyone has been able to do this (see here). I spent 3 months looking after Rose, from 8 months to 11 months, and it was brilliant – got to do tons of bike trailer rides, got to go to baby things (this was where knowing other parents was really useful), take her down the park to play, go swimming, and generally just be a full time parent for a bit. I think it was really good for me and her too – I don’t at all feel like people posted above, that she is mainy focused on her mum, and I think it is good for her to know that two people can look after her roughly equally.
I also don’t think babies are boring like some men seem to, and I think spending a lot of time looking after her may have really helped on this front, they are complex and nuanced little people who are developing at an amazing rate, but when you’re working full time and not getting big chunks of baby time, it can be easy to just see the obvious crying, pooing, vomiting and needing feeding bits and not really have the energy to see beyond that.
Also, my top tip for when your kid is about 1 years old – kids *love* camping, and camping kit fits easily into a bike trailer: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150381323769388.408411.635999387&type=1&l=07049df796
