Moving on from my threadof a few weeks ago.

I am now making some practical provisions for the future…

If I leave my wife – I also need to think about how I handle having 2 joint credit cards and 2 joint bank accounts… and that’s all. And I don’t want to get stuck with no money for a month or so if I do leave…

I have a chunk of dosh coming by way I can put in a different account – but would need to set up a different account – with a different Bank/Building Society and with no telephone calls or correspondence to my home. I can use the office address.

Anyone done this? Or being through a similar secret teasing apart of financial affairs?

that would be illegal to hide funds, half of that money belongs to you wife should you spilt up. the courts will look at you very badly should they find you have been doing this, she will end up with more than half.
pro tip dont tell people this sort of thing, if your wife were to see this print it off and take it to her solicitor you will be right in the shit mate!

How is the mid life crisis going?!

Set up an online account with someone like Egg. No statements etc, all emailed.

If it’s cash, just hide it.
If it’s a cheque, take the hit and pop down to cash converters.
If you have to have a bank account to recieve the moneys, I may be able to help you. For a small fee.

Just shop around for a credit card, f@ck the cloak and dagger bullshit.

Sounds like there’s enough nonsense and deception in your life already mate. Take a stand, maybe against yourself.

Feel free to deposit it within bank accounts that are belonging to me in nigeria

Yours desperately
Solomon obegada

ilovemygears fair point – but the idea is just to hide it from her until I leave – so she doesn’t suspect something is going on and cannot stop my cards if she does. It will be everything transparent the minute I leave – no hiding of funds from lawyers/judges etc.

If I had a seperate account already – there would be no problem – it is everything being joint that makes things awkward.

id get some legal advice if i were you.

And don’t use the work address. So many alarm bells will ring in the bank/credit card agencies they’ll just think you’re doing some sort of fraud.

Paypal?

Set up an online account with someone like Egg. No statements etc, all emailed.

Egg do still send some stuff – I’m not sure you can opt out of all of it.

You can easily set up an account on the internet and even they send you anything in the post as long as you get there first you just say it is junk mail. You could even go old skool and walk into a branch.

do you have a mum you can trust ? if so just get her to open and account and then add ur name to it a few weeks later.

You’ll be lucky to get no correspondence when you open an account. You are pretty much guaranteed a ‘welcome’ letter to confirm the account is open.

Oh dear, so your wife will be the last one to know your relationship with her is over when she should be the first. You really are setting this up for the most acrimonious separation possible.

When i was in this situation, i got my wage and other sums due paid into my brothers bank account to ensure that i had money to live off.

i don’t recommend the second half of my plan though which was to leave the joint account running and pay in enough to cover the standing orders and direct debits. My then wife took that overdrawn treated her mates to nights out on the joint credit card and emptied the joint savings account.

if you are going to do this stop all the joint accounts and divide up the balances straight away. the amicable split is the one where neither side gets time to do over the other.

Oh dear, so your wife will be the last one to know your relationship with her is over when she should be the first. You really are setting this up for the most acrimonious separation possible

lold out loud, i really did. 🙂

Bloody hell 😯

My then wife took that overdrawn treated her mates to nights out on the joint credit card and emptied the joint savings account

having worked in a bank i can tell you those savings belong to who ever takes them out, never ever get a joint account as one person is perfectly entitled to empty it one day, take it over drawn even, and then the bank can come to you and demand payment in full!

Snakes with tits, the lot of them. I’d go and talk to a divorce lawyer before you do anything, I wish I’d done this.

You’re most likely going to get buttfunked anyway, so you might as well minimise your losses.

never ever get a joint account

Are you 12?

This gets more complicated by the minute – and i still think you are a woman 😉

I honestly can’t imagine how people can get into such utter train-wrecks of relationships…

Nope – I am not a woman. I have just checked.

Edukator – perhaps not?

^ wot mol said

molgrips – perhaps half of marriages end in separation or divorce. Not always predictable, not always avoidable… I hope you do better – but enough people in a similar situation posted on the other thread and in others to make it clear that not all realtionship problems are predictable.

Molgrips – by being amoral and selfish?

FFS desperategit – get your stuff together and don’t be a lying shite any longer. Either put your efforts into repairing your marriage or end it. To be making plans to end the marriage just in case is behaving like and utter cad and bounder. Be a man and do what is right. Hiding money from your wife? Behave

j_me – Member
never ever get a joint account

Are you 12?

well when some one like me rings you and demands 45,000 or you home then you mite well regret that joint account..

From skim reading it looks like you’re planning the destruction of your family home as if it’s a cheeky biking weekend.. which is somewhat unnerving.. but this is a forum and I only skim read…

well when some one like me rings you and demands 45,000 or you home then you mite well regret that joint account.

Unsure how you could trust someone enough to marry them but not enough to have a joint account…

TJ – back in the everything is black and white mode?

Many many relationships overlap with subsequent ones. That’s the real world. Not saying it is ideal. But blokes leave women for other women, and women leave blokes for other blokes all the time.

Enough people popped up on the other thread in similar situations, and if you had read it you would know I put a lot of effort into trying to fix my marriage – that effort just hasn’t been reciprocated. I always thought – well, that’s it – but now my newer relationship has shown me other things are possible.

Now – it is perhaps a little bit easy for you to pretend to be the Pope here – and that all life’s situations have rational, moral and kind solutions. But they don’t. Sorry to disappoint you.

They all have moral solutions, I’m fairly confident of that.

If the marriage is over then get out now. Stop with the lying and cheating. Show some respect to your wife and the mother of your children.

You are rationalising appalling standards of behaviour.

If I were you I’d post those naked pics you’ve got of her in this thread. That’ll learn ‘er.

…waiting…

That’s the real world. Not saying it is ideal. But blokes leave women for other women, and women leave blokes for other blokes all the time.

Ah, I see! Why not Pay it into your new girl’s bank account?
Or don’t you trust her enough?

Sorry to hear your relationship is that bad but you have to protect yourself as harsh as that sounds.

According to a survey (if you belive these things) 75% of all women in a long term relationship have a ‘running away’ account. I know my mum did when she left my dad, well money hidden in shares.

I’ve read back through the previous thread and I’m just wondering what your wife has done to you to deserve all this.

I’d be less worried about her spending a bit of money and more about who’s going to look after your kids once she’s stabbed you in the heart for being a complete and utter shit and she’s in Holloway.

Either way your kids need a better role model than you that’s for sure.

TJ

You don’t know anything like enough about the situation to make such facile judgements.

What if one of my kids was about to sit important exams? Do my needs and you quest for honesty trump pragmatic kindness?

And if my second relationship founders before I get to the leaving point – perhaps my kids might prefer I stayed around (carrying the burden of guily myself – not spreading it over them) rather than leave them on principle because the marriage isn’t great.

Simple answers to complex questions are often attractive but usually wrong.

desparate git – nothing trumps the need to be a decent human being. There is nothing kind about lying and cheating your family and that is what you are doing. How can you look in a mirror?

Contemptible behaviour.

I know enough to know you are being utterly out of order. Stop lying and behave like a man.

Oh to have any money to put in a bank account… 🙁