got given the worst news possible yesterday.
my consultant told me i have to face up to the fact that i am gonna be stuck in permenant afib.
in the past 17 months i have has 2 failed cardioversions and 2 failed cardiac ablations.
my last ablation, like the 1st worked for about 10 days.
the consultant explained that he would not be able to work on my heart again because there is only so much the heart will take, and also that the area that is now causing the trouble he is unable to reach, because of the size of my aorta.
he explained that there is 1 more thing that might work, the removal of my av nodes, which are kind of like the hearts spark plugs.
i would be totally reliant on a pacemaker then to keep my heart beating.
he said he thought i was too young for this treatment.
also told my i would be on warfarin and beta blockers for the rest of my life.
i am honestly totally devastated at present, and just need to offload this somewhere.
all i have ever done is ride my bike and play rugby since the age of 9.
and now at 45 not being able to do something you love so much, well the thought of it is unbearable.
i have entered a couple of uplift days, with thoughts of something to do bike wise in the future, hopefully this will help me keep my chin up..i do hope so. gonna try and get motivated to get out on my electric bike again, but like a meat lover eating quorn…it aint the same at all.
why is life so rubbish at times? i know a lot of people are worse off, but that dont stop me feel so bad.
anyway, sorry for offloading this like i said.
and to everyone i have ridden with off here over the years, it as been a pleasure and a fantastic experiance.

gutted for you ton

Gutted for ya. 🙁

Gutted for you Tony. Assuming you are still coming up to Innerleithen though?

I was also wondering about the pacemaker thing – if it’s seriously going to affect your quality of life, can you not insist they go ahead with it (or is there some downside?)

ton, you are a mate and a legend on stw. really sorry to hear prognosis, its crap to hear amd not sure what comfort I can give. If you want any company even on the leccy bike then just ask.

Sorry to hear that ton. Dont apologise for speaking your mind on here, we’re your mates and we’ll do whatever we can to lift your spirits, come up with ideas and all the rest.

BOOOOOOO.That sucks the big one fella.
I won’t trot out the platitudes……you could turn to cookery.I’ve heard you’ve got a mean fist pie.

Sad news Tony, have followed the story so far. Really not sure what to say, other than keep your chin up. Keep doing whatever you can to enjoy life.

Ton, you’ll get loads of sympathy, but you need to accept that things are the way they are and then get on with living as well as you can.

Carry on with the diet, do as much in the way of exercise as you can and if you end up having to be permenantly paced, suck it up fella and get on with living.

It’s ok to be pissed off, it’s ok to be fed up, but as you already say; it could be much worse, so get on with it.

tough break Ton 🙁 you feel bad as you like mate, it’s great that you can offload on here.

Sorry to hear that Ton …but you have to think life is not all about riding bikes and rugby ….yes it’s a bummer but you have to take stock and think what CAN I do …you will find something else to fill your time and wonder why you ever did the things you did before ……..

Feel gutted for you ton.

Sometimes though, life is inexplicably cruel. Some people live til their 90’s after smoking heavily all their adult life and never doing any exercise, some people (like you) live a healthy active lifestyle and then have chronic heart problems, or get cancer, or whatever… My Dad’s best mate dropped dead of a heart attack one morning, aged 54. He was the fittest 54 year old you could meet, he ran every day, spent most weekends doing 40+ mile hiking routes, cycled frequently, played rugby etc. The autopsy discovered he had a hole in his heart, that had been there since birth, it was only because he was so healthy he had lived so long otherwise he’d have probably died in his 20’s!

The only advice I can give is don’t dwell on past glories, it may be upsetting to think you can’t do some of the things you used to do ever again, but find new interests to keep you going… I used to be a very good fast bowler at Cricket, then I broke my hand when I was 19 and have never been able to release a cricket ball properly since (it either goes over the batsmans head, or nearly crushes my toes). I spent a year or so dwelling on it, then took a break from cricket for a few years. I started playing cricket again about 8 years later, then just worked on my batting instead. Within a season or two, I’d actually got pretty good at batting and gone from a tail ender to regularly opening the batting for my local club on a Sunday… It’s not the same I know, but you see what I’m trying to say?

My sympathies are with you anyway.

That’s really tough big man.

Shity news Ton but you’re still here and alive mate and that’s the main thing! You can still talk crap on here even if you ride bikes or not mate. Bikes are crap anyways!

Dude, different situation to you I know but I’m diabetic and used to take 4-6 injections per day and would have done for the rest of my life. 3 years ago I switched over to an insulin pump which I’m hooked up to 24/7… I’d rather not have it and sometimes it’s a pita but it makes my quality of life so much better. Guess what I’m saying is sometimes bionic devices seem daunting but you learn to live with them and see the upsides to their benefit…like I say different scenario but hope you can relate?…good luck.

Aw Ton, I’m really sorry to hear that 🙁 . Please take care and pimp that electric bike to high heaven. Big hugs! xxx

ton – I am so sorry to hear that, life really can be crap sometimes. 🙁

Have you been given any suggestions of what exercise is OK to do? They don’t expect you to become a couch potato surely?

Please don’t dwell, you have to keep looking forward and believe that your life will be better, whatever form it takes. Your life needs to take a different turn, on a different path and you mustn’t think it will be worse.

Hugs.
xx

Absolutely rubbish that Ton, however…..

it could be much worse, so get on with it.

And

You can still talk crap on here even if you ride bikes or not mate.

After all, that’s what most of us do on here anyways.

Keep yer chin up.

Ahhhh bollocks mate, sorry to hear that.

Crappy things happen to good people, sadly.
At least you can still use the leccy bike, possibilities for some decent touring holidays there, with a bit of luck.
You might need a longer lead though.

Have you thought about motorbikes? They can be really expensive, pointless and dangerous, so lots of possibilities there.

Really sorry to hear that. Like others have said, you are going to need to try and get over the loss and not dwell on what you used to be able to do. Easier said than done, I know from experience (though nothing like what you’ve been diagnosed with). There will be other things in life you don’t know about yet that can inspire you – it just won’t be the same as biking.

But if you ever fancy doing an uplift day with a fellow hefty sick-boy – let me know.

All the best Ton .

Tony, you’ve provided me with a lasting memory I’ll take to the grave. That Hebden ride a few years ago, you falling off and ripping your shirt and doing the rest of the ride with your nipple on show. A great day…

Thinking of you fella!

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoaktW-Lu38&feature=fvst[/video]

people like you ton will always find a way to live a fulfilling life.

look around you fella and you will see endless people with good health that never do anything with it, you are either part of that club or not.

it’s shit now mate but it will evolve into something else. good luck mate.

Sorry to hear that…

Sometimes one door closes and another opens, after I smashed my leg up I could still ride motorbikes but the joy had gone… Left me pretty bereft, it was all I knew- all my mates rode, all my time and money had gone into bikes for years. Bad times. But that was what led me to pushbikes- and on a good day I could say I’m glad it did. So I hope you find something like that happens for you.

Crap news, like others have wisely said there is more to life than cycling and who knows what’s round the corner. For a start it wont be long until there are good electric mtbs so you can still beat you mates to the top.
My Afib is only paroxysmal at the moment but I know how it effects me during an episode, but it only restricts certain things leaving plenty else one can do.

sorry to hear that Ton – hope you find something great to do instead of biking (or as well as restricted biking)

I hope all this stuff is inspiring and helpful Ton, but it is also inspiring and helpful in general, good work STW.

That really is crap news – sorry to hear it. Best of British if you decide to go for the robocop bits – truly hope it works out for you.

Why can’t you carry on riding?

Crap news to have to take in, can be overwhelming. But what Northwind says makes allot of sense. Really important to focus on whats possible than what you can’t do. There will be stuff out there, just likely to be hard to see for a wee while. Loads of support on here for you.

Real sorry to hear that Tony. Life, as they say, can be a bitch.

Mate, as the only person on here who can compete/compare themselves to you in the variety and quantity of bikes owned, I send out manly nods across the bar! I’m also a Yorkshireman with Irish & French granparwnts who is currently in a drunken confused state with a woman’s clutch bag down me pants (..!?!!?..) following the rugby (don’t ask… I have a very dizzy work mate). I hope yer chin comes up soon & if you need to talk to anybody my email is in me profile (I’m actually shit at this type of thing but yer know…)

I love you mildred!

Everyone, thanks for the kind and very inspiring words.
i am gonna take note of what you have all said, and try and not let this thing get on top of me.

thanks.

Feel for you ton – big time, but as others have said, you’ve got to keep on keeping on. There will be a way – you might not know which way right now, but you’ll work it out in time. Just keep your chin up for now and keep looking forwards.

As someone said to me on my diagnosis – you’ve got a bridge in front of you to cross. Get across that, and there might be another one. Deal with that one when you get to it, and so on. It was one of the best bits of advice I’ve had in my life.

Ton sorry to hear it’s been unsuccessful and had an impact on your life. It’s the exertion that your heart can’t take and not good for it, I’m sure you know this though. Although a big part in your life rugby and bikes aren’t everything, you can still enjoy the social aspect of it all by watching matches and coming along to bike events. Helping out being a pit bunny for an endurance event or offering to be a dogs body can be hard work but good fun.

You have your family and they have you that’s the important thing.

If you come along to Uk/Europe 24hr next month at Newcastleton then I’ll get you a beer, not too many mind don’t want to get into trouble from your Dr.

Sorry to hear that Tony.
I can’t say anything that’s not been said before really. Chin up, worse things happen at sea and all that. But anyone here can appreciate how guttng it must feel.
You know that book about riding home from Siberia? I have a better one about a guy walking across that area. Walking out of and escaping a much shittier situation than any of us could imagine. It’s inspiring. (PM me if you got reading time)
Sometimes bikes are just crap anyway- expensive, faffy, over the top and take your focus off the basic pleasures of feeling free outdoors. Load up a rucksac and go for a stroll? Some of the best times of my life have been on foot. 24hrs out and you come back anew. It’s wonderful the kind of thinking space you have and what you see when your’re not knackered and staring at the ground 15ft in front of you.

Ton, really sorry to hear this.
I can understand how gutted you must feel, and I know bikes and rugby were a huge part of your life, but sometime we just need to move on, and rearrange our lives.
Northwind’s said it well, sometimes one door closes and another opens..
Thankfully you’ve still got your family, and as Drac says, that’s the most important thing.

Not going to be able to add anymore than what has already been written above. Sorry to hear that your health is preventing you from doing the sports you love but you can still participate and give something back to these sports. I hope you find something to bridge the gap.