We go and put on a big party for the whole planet and the Australians are too busy reading to turn up.
“Given how much the average young Australian male would far prefer to engage you in a discussion on the finer points of Mallarmé or Euripides than bandy remarks on uncouth ball games, it is hardy astonishing that they have won such a pitiful number of medals.”
Australian ex-pat Bill McKay said: “Being a sports fan in Australia is incredibly lonely. There’s more to life than the intellect but try telling that to the average bloke in New South Wales.
“Take swimming. We could be good at it but it’s impossible to swim and read at the same time – you just end up going in circles. And you can’t get an Aussie to put their book down, even in the water.”