Infidelity is a deal breaker - once the trust has gone its, well, GONE. It NEVER comes back.
Still..
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Anyone had partner cheat and forgiven them
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Ok, well it's too late for me' to edit so I'll re-phrase:
Seeing as most of the men on here are clearly raging pervs..... Happy
Posted 1 year ago # -
No raging here either.
That happens after midnight once most people are safely tucked up in bed.
Posted 1 year ago # -
oh that's ok then. You really ought to work on the heavy breathing BTW.... you'd get away with much more if you weren't heard
Posted 1 year ago # -
No one else can or should judge any other, someone elses experience is of no use in making your own decisions ......... no matter how similar.
Posted 1 year ago # -
emma82 - Member
Seeing as most
of themenon hereare clearly raging pervs..... Happy
Fixed that for you.As Steve had to explain in Coupling when pressed as to his collection of videos (they were about a 'lesbian film-making collective, who had to make videos of lesbians, and the one who made the best video was able to spank the others' (or similar) ): men love seeing women's front bottoms. Anything that multiplies the number of front bottoms men can see is a Good Thing.
Similarly, men like seeing women's frontal areas. Again, anything that increases the number of specific frontal areas available for viewing is a Good Thing.
Now whether this is one of those things better left to imagine than act upon is for more knowledgeable people than me to comment. Back to the OP, I guess it's a question of how serious your mate is about the relationship. If he's all mature and grown up and sensible, it's time to bin the bint. If he's still got a more 'go out and get it' attitude to life and can handle the possible insecurity issues, then forgive her.Posted 1 year ago # -
(RepacK - Member Infidelity is a deal breaker -) words of wisdom
Posted 1 year ago # -
Posted 1 year ago # -
Yes, several boyfriends have been unfaithful to me over the years. Two I didn't know about until after we had broken up. One I knew about but turned a blind eye because he was young, had had a tough time with his parents, was insecure. I made excuses for him because I loved him. He did it again and I dumped him.
To me it doesn't matter which gender the third party is/was, or even the fact of the sex itself, it's the lies. When your partner is talking to you and you're thinking "I have no idea if you're lying to me or not", trust gone.
Funny, over the years it has always been the psycho jealous possessive ones who have been unfaithful. All the shouting and screaming that I was playing away from home (I was not) and there they were, at it themselves! You gotta laugh, eh?
Posted 1 year ago # -
Unfortunately, I have a feeling you're right, Karin!!
Rachel
Posted 1 year ago # -
Funny, over the years it has always been the psycho jealous possessive ones who have been unfaithful. All the shouting and screaming that I was playing away from home (I was not) and there they were, at it themselves! You gotta laugh, eh?
And this is a surprise????
My experiences and opinions are pretty straightforward. It doesn't matter whether it's a male or female involved in the infidelity and if it happens once it will happen again.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Well, yes, it was a surprise because I used to think that if someone was decrying something so vehemently then they must hate it and not be doing it themselves.
Ahhh, bless, how naive!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Maybe they believe accusing their partner of doing something absolves them of responsibility of having done it themselves...
(edited out the worst of the terrible English grammar)
Posted 1 year ago # -
It's funny how no one has bought up what actually constitutes cheating, as I know several people who have a wildly different point of view to mine.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Rachel, yes, I see that, if they can imagine that you are doing the same, perhaps they feel less guilty. Perhaps too it's because they know how they think (that it's ok to be unfaithful), and assume other people are the same.
Yossarian, agree, if they have done it once, they are likely to do it again.
Posted 1 year ago # -
There i suspect many reasons why people are unfaithful.
If it's not to excepted by the other, or known about it's wrong and just goes to show how doomed the relationship should be.
If it's known about and excepted, then i guess so long as they are being true about their feelings for the situation, then who can complain.
I know i've now got trust issues because of it, whether past partners are doing owt or not. People can be just plain stoopid and nasty without even realising it.
And it's right in what has been said. Some that have been cheated on then go on to do it themselves as some sort of weird revenge thing.
Posted 1 year ago # -
they accuse you becausee they dont trust you because they know what they are like.
Would ring alarm bells for me if someone accused me tbh.Posted 1 year ago # -
Posted 1 year ago #
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=L42-yKY1vRMSeems appropriate
Posted 1 year ago # -
To me it doesn't matter which gender the third party is/was, or even the fact of the sex itself, it's the lies. When your partner is talking to you and you're thinking "I have no idea if you're lying to me or not", trust gone.
Funny, over the years it has always been the psycho jealous possessive ones who have been unfaithful. All the shouting and screaming that I was playing away from home (I was not) and there they were, at it themselves! You gotta laugh, eh?
I think you've hit it on the head there Karin. It is the lies that I couldn't deal with. Or the lying for that matter. The physical act, while it is usually repulsive to think about, can be gotten over, but the lying
Strangely enough I've been in one of the aforementioned 'two lady' situation, a long, long time ago. I wouldn't reccomend it to anyone. And haven't ever as such.
On the other hand, I've been cheated on once, she phoned to tell me, and then did me the favour of discharging herself from our relationship saying she felt ashamed, I was a better person than her, and she didn't think she'd done me justice with her silly, albeit drunk actions.
That was during freshers week...in my first year of uni. Quite the favour she did me there
Posted 1 year ago # -
So out of 71 posters no one has had a relationship work after the event. Hmm. The odds are not in her favour.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Cheating is cheating, Enday.
She'd be down the road and quick - smart.
Posted 1 year ago # -
a conclusive insight into the male psyche providing you are reasearching mountain bikers hiding behind a keyboard.
I can feel an affinity to the subject after buying a secound bike, i just cant spend the time i want with the first one any more.
I keep riding the second even though its unforgiving makes me a bit sore, but it is up for some muddy fun with its big clearances.Having said that they do both spend the nights together, maybe i should split them up to reduce temptation.
Posted 1 year ago # -
What do you believe constitutes cheating then fourbanger?
I'm quite straight about thinking that if someone enters into a relationship be it emotional or sexual outside that of friendship then it is cheating and they are therefore not someone I want to be with. I have, nor would I ever cheat and expect the same in return. I know most of my friends share the same thinking
Posted 1 year ago # -
Honestly? No idea.
I'd like to say I'd forgive however I don't think I'd ever forget.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Emma82 nail on head.
All these blokes posting with lipstick lezbo fantasies are only proving thier sexual and emotional immaturity.
Posted 1 year ago # -
fundamentally people 'play' because they are bored deep down.
It is a surprisingly complicated issue as to why people cheat with a myriad of different reasons. i am not surprised you came up with a simple solution to cover all events.Posted 1 year ago # -
Bored?
A total lack of respect more like. The relationship was dead in the water before it got to the playing away from home stage.Posted 1 year ago # -
But surely hora if you can't 'forget' then the relationship is doomed even if you think you have forgive. Every time she's 10 minutes late home, has an evening out without you and doesn't pick up the phone etc etc, it would always be at the back of your mind that she was with someone else, regardless of their being a man or woman??
There is also then the revenge thing someone else mentioned...someone very close to me is sleeping with someone they aren't really bothered about and is risking their relationship and why? Because his partner slept with someone else (ONS) so to fix it in his mind he's going one further and having a relationship with another woman. very odd and not at all healthy.
Agree that there are a million different reasons why people cheat but if you don't love someone enough to stay faithful then leave them to find someone who does.
I'm going to back off now, cheating makes me cross and this thread is upsetting me
Posted 1 year ago # -
I worked with a guy who went home from work early and found his wife under their Great Dane.......... he didn't forgive.
Posted 1 year ago # -
So out of 71 posters no one has had a relationship work after the event. Hmm. The odds are not in her favour.
But perhaps the people that have forgiven and moved on haven't posted for one reason or another.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Great Dane = Jan Molby?
Posted 1 year ago # -
"Great Dane = Jan Molby?".... is he marbled with docked ears.
Posted 1 year ago # -
But surely hora if you can't 'forget' then the relationship is doomed even if you think you have forgive. Every time she's 10 minutes late home, has an evening out without you and doesn't pick up the phone etc etc, it would always be at the back of your mind that she was with someone else, regardless of their being a man or woman
Exactly. Sadly it wouldn't work. I've never been in this position however I'd like to think I'd forgive but It'd never ever be the same.
Once a girls head has been turned, only a spade can turn it back again.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I cheated on my Great Dane with a Poodle.
It was the hairdo that did it for me. I can't tell if the Great Dane has forgiven me, because it is a dog and can't speak.
Posted 1 year ago #
Topic Closed
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