[Closed] Anyone had partner cheat and forgiven them

ha ha - I'm not overly bothered - don't have time to worry about how other people's brains work - my own needs sorting first!!!

Rachel

My ex wife once asked if i'd mind if she slept with a lady friend of her's. I encouraged it for all the wrong reasons. She did the deed as i thought it would add something new and exciting to our own relationship. I didn't, but i wasn't too bothered as i'd agreed to it.

Then i suspected her to be seeing other men, challenged her about it and she made her excuses and i took the blame as i was giving her the attention she demanded.

So taking the blame i loosely forgave her and rode my bike more. She did this several times and in the end when i checked her phone after it beeped(she left it at home) i opened it and watched the video it was playing. A video that her lover had took whilst she was..well doing things to him...

Well i tried to forgive her as with her mind games she again blamed me..

Lesson learnt....NO FORGIVENESS not a bleeding change.

Whether it's same sex, with a dog.. it's totally unforgivable.

What if the dog has got real pretty eyes?

What if the woman cheats with a hot dog or kebab ??

... or a hot rabbit?

sharki man 🙁 fek.

Cheatings cheating.

Even if she was putting hula hoops on her nips, i'd see that as doing the dirty on me.

Blimmey i'm proper damaged goods.

Hot dog and Kebab at the same time.... now were talking.

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gonefishin - Member

"I'm with Rachel - why is that different ?"

Because there isn't the same threat to the mans masculinity that there would be if she cheated with another man. It's not a comment on gay relationships.

I certainly feel its not the same. Seems odd to me but thats what I feel 😕

I doubt there really is any way of rationalising it. Hormones and territory I guess.

shocking story, sharki...

Sharki - hug?

No hula hoops involved. Not even a monster munch.

It does make me wonder, though... and this would need those that said it's "less of a cheat" to be shockingly honest...

Would they say that a relationship between two women (or two men) is less "valuable" than between a man and a woman?

Despite the probably high troll factor of the original post, and the subsequent predictable puerility regarding lesbians, there is an interesting idea here.

I was the guilty party, and I got forgiven, and the biggest lesson I learnt was not to judge people because you never can tell...

It's cheating, full stop. Same sex or opposite sex it doesn't really matter . If you are committed to someone you just don't do it. If this blokes girlfriend wants to do it with women when she drunk then she has no morals and next week will probably jump into bed with another bloke just as easily as she would with another woman and blame it on the drink. I'd forget the relationship because she clearly doesn't give a toot. Any of you chaps who think it's ok because it fits some of your fantasy's are deluded, it wasn't a consenting acting out of a fantasy, it was cheating, therefore it was wrong

If you aint satisfying her desires and she is going else where, male or female its time to end the relationship. Leopards dont change their spots, have known too many serial shagger mates and none of them end up happy or with their pension in tact or living in a house they own.

There is really only one issue here, the infidelity. I'd forgive (and have done) a one night stand, but an affair a la Sharki would be the end. Similarly, a pattern of one-night drunken shags would kill the relationship for me.

We all make mistakes, but we have to learn from them.

(And I disagree about the "not meeting her desires". It's rarely a matter of not getting enough at home, it's a matter of being greedy. Who eats a kebab when sober?)

Would they say that a relationship between two women (or two men) is less "valuable" than between a man and a woman?

Another woman though? No evolutionary threat so no reason to evolve with any hard-wired violent objections.

So at a basic level two women together can't register a negative emotional response. At worst it's irrelevant. It's a crap evolutionary strategy too (another reason for it to not be a threat).

Two blokes together has all kind of pack dynamic/dominance stuff going on. No woman wants a low ranking male as a partner, so if they're getting mounted by another male that's not an option. Evolution again. The dominant male is the one to have.

I'm sure we can all rationalise about it, but that's overriding our basic instincts.

Hairychested - Member

Would your GF forgive you if she knew you were leaking another man's juices from your backside hole?

Bloody hell ... that's too graphic ...

I just lol'd at 5thElfant and 'mounted'. Always makes me chuckle, I am very childish though. 🙂

allthegear - Member

It does make me wonder, though... and this would need those that said it's "less of a cheat" to be shockingly honest...

Would they say that a relationship between two women (or two men) is less "valuable" than between a man and a woman?

No

I can't really understand it but is clear it homo relationships can be as deep loving and valuable relationship as hetero.

Don't alter the fact I see another women as less of a threat 😕

I can only point to hardwiring / evolutionary instinct, hormones whatever. Its not really the rational bit of the mind

that's fine - there's no right or wrong answer!

I want give Sharki a hug.

Interesting. The responses from the men and women on this

true emsz - I really hadn't realised how guy's brains work. (yes, I know that sounds daft)

Rachel

The kebab hot dog analogy was genius!

I have to say it does seem to be a penetraty male dominance genetic conditioning thing

Male penetration is just wrong in a relationship involving a male, lady fiddling however is sometimes mildly wrong sometimes videod

[i]I want give Sharki a hug. [/i]

Me too. Do you think my wife will mind?

Me neither Rachel, LOL

Instinctively I agree with 5th on this, I suppose it's because you've not been usurped as top dog.

Rationally I understand what you girls are saying. Ultimately you're right.

i must have a lasses brain.
or i'm a puff. apparently. although my girlfriend would argue that's not true...

[i] I really hadn't realised how guy's brains work.[/i]

They're very simple things Rach! 😉
Cheating is cheating, doesn't matter who it's with.

Strangely, this topic cropped up at the works Xmas party and one woman (late-forties) didn't say outright that it was fine but basically implied that if she wasn't getting "satisfaction" (as she put it) she'd have no hesitation in going elsewhere for it. I disagreed, I think the underlying problems of the relationship need addressing first before either party goes off with someone else but maybe I've just got an old-fashioned sense of loyalty...

ditch them

Mmmmmm..Luvin the huggin'

I rather liked the idea of 'succumbing to a couple of cracking steaks', I could imagine doing that too.

on the subject of cheating....i wonder who has been cheated on but then when onto do it themselves?

Aleigh.
I could never get the hula hoops to stay put. Not so much through guilt, just small nipples.

You can get some tablets for that...

For what Rachel?

And can you show proof of the effects? 😉

I think I'll decline to prove that one, thanks!!! 😛

And quite rightly so you should to.

Posting pics up on the internet like that is never a good idea.

Thanks though for mailing me the pics.

They clearly show the true effectiveness of the tablets. I shall be making my order once this swelling has gone down.

lololol

err - no...

and they say romance is dead..... Rachel an sharki up a tree..... lalalala 😯

Is your mate and his gf in an equally committed relationship? Or is it one-sided?

It's all very well people saying yah or nay but life is simply not black or white.

I'm not convinced about 5Elefant's cod-psychology.
Would it matter if the male cheater were the active partner in a gay adultery, as that would (could) imply he was dominant?
And who's to say that penetration is necessarily a concomitant of dominance? It's certainly not in many species.

I do think 5thElefant has a valid point. For all we might want to apply some "higher" moral standard to it, most of us (males) would likely react the same.

Oh - and this...

cinnamon_girl - Member
It's all very well people saying yah or nay but life is simply not black or white.

I've always liked the cod psychology idea.

I once theorised the reason why some men fall asleep straight after ejaculation.

The sole purpose is to mate and cause impregnation.
Once the male has ejaculated the body shuts down because it's primary role has served.

that explains everything...... 😉