I'm looking for a flexible girl who doesn't mind my porn or biking habits.
No bubbly personalities, infact no personality full stop.
Ideally she'll have a sex drive to rival Hora's. Be great in the kitchen, love cleaning but be tolerant of mess, and have a brother who doesn't particularly care about how badly his sister is treated.

Send me a recent high-resolution picture of yourself wearing a suede jacket and I will see what I can do.

Do you want a monthly contract or PAYG?

Might be able to help you out here. 😉

Looks as though daughter is moving in with me. Thing is … at weekends I like to party, go to nightclubs etc. Really don't want to be told to keep the noise down when I stumble back at some unearthly hour, talk about cramping my style. 🙄

She looks nothing at all like me, different in personality too. She is, however, feisty. 😯

Want to take her off my hands at weekends?

pimping your own daughter? god lord… STW really has degenerated hasn't it! 🙄 😉

Ill take her if TheSouthernYeti doesn't, do you take paypal gift?

Photos please, CG!

Pics pls… and 2nd dibs if daveagiles doesn't take her.

psychle – when kids leave home, I don't expect them to come back again! But, hey, could be onto a winner here. 😯

Guys, she doesn't ride bikes though. Will that be a problem? Daren't do pics but she's mid-20's with a figure to die for. 😀

Whoah, whoah, whoah, put your own dating ads on here boys!

Feisty works, does she like suede jackets?

…does she like suede jackets?

That's a euphemism isn't it….haha…thought you had us there…we're too sharp for you matey 🙂

Feisty works, does she like suede jackets?

Dunno but she has a pretty impressive collection of killer heels. 😉

C_G next you'll be telling me she has a great taste in music too…

DD – not that I know of I just look dreamlike in suede.

Nah, she's not into music. As I said, she's not like me at all!

not that I know of

Yeah, you keep telling us that…we'll believe you eventually 🙄

dreamlike in suede

There's a story here shirley…?

There's a story here shirley…?

Not an especially good one.

CG – If you give me your postcode I can collect Friday at 6 and return her first thing Tuesday. Normal agreement will have to be Monday, but hey it's a bank holiday and I'll take this daughter sitting responsibility seriously.

If everthing was this simple…..

My sister has recently become single. Would you like her number?

If the answer is yes to 50% of my criteria and CG's daughter decides against being loned out to internet weirdos, yes please.

Really don't want to be told to keep the noise down when I stumble back at some unearthly hour, talk about cramping my style.

You are Eddy, your daughter is Saffy, and I claim my tenner.

loned out to internet weirdos

Love it. 🙂

jon 1973
send me a picture of her bike

OK guys, this could be a goer. Once I have her definite moving-in date, I will post up. If you could all "help out" every weekend for the next 3 months or so, that would be brilliant. 😀

It would mean I can carry on having fun and not have to worry about her finding bikes/blokes/booze in the lounge. 😉

As regards "internet weirdos", that is just a nasty rumour!

#deleted on second thoughts!#

Can't help wonder what you plan to do with the girl's brother…

and have a brother who doesn't particularly care about how badly his sister is treated.

I'll take sloppy tenths, not that fussy at the moment 😳

i have a brother, dont know ow long its been for you but its quite a while for him,

sloppy tenths

Noone is having sloppy anythings on my future wife!

STOP Mr Yeti – a future wife? You have been misleading me and my daughter. 😯

I've been telling her about you and she was kinda curious but you may have blown your chances now!

So … any other takers? 😉

Does all this mean you are owning up to the "feisty" bit C_G? 😉

And was that definitely a figure to die for or a figure to die of?

Can you deliver to north west? I'll pay courier/petrol/meet within reasonable distance…

And is "figure to die for" a way of putting a positive spin on "face like a robber's dog"?

Bikingcatastophe – everyone knows I'm an attention whore/keyboard warrior. Feisty I am not, unfortunately, but not afraid to argue/stand up for myself on here. 🙄

Figure – think Dita. 😉

Shibboleth – will check!

Damn!

<quickly goes off to check that you can cancel the cancellations of mail order thai brides>

And is "figure to die for" a way of putting a positive spin on "face like a robber's dog"?

A body off Baywatch but a face off Crimewatch.