"Bus lanes are there for buses, [licensed] taxis and cyclists – not for celebrities."

Yeah. Noel.

I'd love to have the pompous sense of self-regard needed to regard everyone who happened to be in my way at any given moment as actually stealing my time. It must make life a lot simpler. 🙂

What a cockmonkey.

Going the way of the Icke I tell ye.

To be frank, I actually find the Icke more likeable.

[Chuckles at uplink's pic] 🙂

Apparently a penis of monster proportions has been seen blocking bus lanes in Bristol. A source at the scene stated it’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen…… however confusion over the accuracy of this report spread after another onlooker described the object as being a f**king t**t!

….he could drive an empty minibus for them same daft reasons and not get in trouble though….

The 'action against time thieves' sign on Edmonds' cab is a reference to his campaign against people who waste his time

Where does one sign up to become a Time Thief?

If someone could nick the 90 minutes between now and leaving work, I'd be eternally grateful.

Like a lot of these people, his veneer of sanity is paper-thin, a fact which Chris Morris tapped into nicely in the wake of his pissy reaction to the Brass Eye "cake" ridiculousness.

His protests after the broadcast of the programme resulted in a follow-up sketch in which a fake news bulletin reported that Edmonds had gone mad and killed presenter Clive Anderson during a dinner party, in which he held the rest of the guests hostage, before later returning to the scene to see an Edmonds lookalike throw a severed bald head from an upper-floor window before firing a rocket propelled grenade at a nearby wedding and making off in a helicopter gunship.

I'm not defending Edmonds, but why are Taxis allowed in some bus lanes? Just because you're paying for the driver, why the special treatment. Seems odd?

In a really nice (but open way)- WHY should Taxi's be allowed to use bus lanes outside central London?

Why? I dont understand why (a) most people use them and (b) why are they in a rush?

Time thiefs from a man who fronts a show where excitable buffoons just open boxes….he is not into irony then is he.

Time thiefs from a man who fronts a show where excitable buffoons just open boxes….he is not into irony then is he.

I actually read the title and assumed BD had watched a show of his and was demanding back the 30mins of lost time he'd never see again..

is there a corresponding "Action Against Oxygen Thieves" ?

scaredypants – Member

is there a corresponding "Action Against Oxygen Thieves" ?

Are you nominating yourself? How kind.

geoffj, people who use taxis generally leave their cars at home. As with buses, it's a kickback for being public-spirited enough to use stinky overpriced public transport.

Are you nominating yourself? How kind.

Spot the ironing on here…

juan – Member

Are you nominating yourself? How kind.

Spot the ironing on here…

Oh gawd 🙄 I'm not going to get another warning for being abused by juan again am I? 🙄

Mr Agreeable, I'm not sure I'm seeing your logic there. You must be implying that they are using a taxi after some other form of public transport – probably a train, rather than driving the whole distance?

Sorta makes sense except IME of living in Edinburgh, that's not usually the case.

Hora tell him you are a vegan as well … I dare you

Geoff, that, or they're sharing with someone else, or they're at least freeing up a parking space. Have to agree the environmental benefits of taxis are less obvious than buses, but I'm sure they are demonstrable.

Can we get back to abusing Noel Edmonds now please? 🙂

Once at a football charity gig when Edmunds was at his peak of popularity, I witnessed him hitting a girl who ran onto the pitch. She was about 15, there was no mention of it in the media, even though it happened in front of 10,000 odd people, many of them children.

So as you can imagine I am no fan.

Seriously though- why do taxis need bus lanes? What urgent mission are their singular-payees on?

This isn't the best parody Vic and Bob did (the evil levitating Lloyd Grossman was way better) but they do capture the hideous death rattle that he thinks of as laughter:

Oh gawd I'm not going to get another warning for being abused by juan again am I?

Well funny that you consider it being banter or abuse depending what side of the stick you are though…
But do not worry I won't interact with you at all anymore…

Seriously though- why do taxis need bus lanes?

To make it more worthwhile for their customers to leave their cars at home.

Any other tricky questions you need answering ?

Juan you were quite rude to me.
Reread what you wrote. The bit about me stalking you on facebook. WTF? (you actually came up on 'people you might know' so I thought 'ok, click'- and you rejected. I didnt realise you had to be a friend for life on facebook)- you then added I wouldnt be friends with someone like you. Fair enough- was that called for though? It did come across as little immature.
On the thread in question I actually said one line in reply (partly because I couldnt understand what your first post aimed at insulting me was on about). TBH – I really did question what ire I had aimed at you to warrant a warning from STW to me. You certainly threw quite a bit of venom my way which I hadn't risen to.

Anyway. Forget the vitriol. Can Noel Edmond's be the one to shake and make up? I did offer on that thread. 🙂

yes what benefit [to society/environment}is there in me leaving my car at home in order to catch another car?

Catching a taxi is the act of someone who is lazy. In London I was gobsmacked by colleagues who'd insist on jumping into numerous taxis on a works night out. Unless you are flying out on holiday or had a Gran who had a hospital appointment I dont understand why you need a taxi in rush hour. It just adds to the weight of traffic.

I don't have a car at all. Think of it as a little "thank you" from society to me that when I hire a chauffeured car I get to use a priority lane. 🙂

Didn't Juan rather rudely suggest that Hora was too corpulent to copulate? I think he is showing great restraint. 🙂

He actually owns and drives the taxi, which makes him even more down to earth (!) in my book. I stick by my original description of 'cockmonkey', but with knobs on, if you'll pardon the expression.
PS, if Mr Blobby is reading this, it wasnt me that called Mr Edmonds that nasty name, it was some of the other boys on here..

I once sat next to Noel at the Beeb bar at Pebble Mill, not only is he tiny and oddly waxy looking but his hair is utterly terrifying.

Its the blouses that he wears that I find disturbing, pigface, the bloody women's BLOUSES…

On a car program years ago they featured Noels Ford GT- the presenter belted it sideways and I can honestly say that was the closest that I came to orgasming over the sound of a car. Sorry, I have managed to turn this thread onto sex and Noel…

Hora your argument is a tad circular is it not? First off you're complaining about taxis getting to breeze around in bus lanes. Then you say that they're clogging up the capital's transport system. As you correrctly point out, they are damn useful, particularly for elderly or diabled people, but then you go off on one against those who use them out of choice. Make your mind up, there's a good chap.

Noel's Wikipedia entry really brings home how genuinely odd he is for someone who's been a nigh-on f–king inescapable presence in popular culture for the past 40 years:

For many years Edmonds has been a believer in Spiritualism, in particular the concept of Cosmic ordering. He has claimed that he is occasionally visited by two melon-sized "spiritual energy" balls, which appear over his shoulders and which he believes to be the spirits of his dead parents.

BD

Didn't Juan rather rudely suggest that Hora was too corpulent to copulate? I think he is showing great restraint

Who Hora or Juan?

i didnt hear or see a peep of Noel between the houseparty, and beard or no beard.

i like beard or no beard

i like Noel.

hes a better presenter than most of the winkers one has to suffer these days.

there, ive said it.