how do i string him along?

i’m being connected to microsoft certified technician

tell him you have a mac

Cool. Assume the guise of a lunatic slightly deaf pensioner….

tell him you have a mac

I did that once, and he kept telling me to open Windows Explorer. He then gave up and hung up.

Act dumb – and I mean REALLY dumb.

They’re great fun!

be REALLY slow with them, when they ask you about security Q’s ask your own back..

type in 3 w

Ask for four candles.

Ask him what he’s wearing….

Ask him if he wants a cuppa, as you expect to be needing his services for a while…

what tyres would he recommend

+1 for asking what he is wearing.

heavy breathing also goes down well.

if that fails to get him confused, then try farmyard noises, interspersed with going along with what he is saying.

bruneep – Member
what tyres would he recommend

😆

Ask him to wait while you go to the toilet.

Take ages.

Bah – battery on the phone is dodgy and went just as he’d agreed to hang on for a bit whilst I went and did something – I had Greensleeves all cued up and everything.

Had been just acting dumb – not difficult as it was a bloke with an Indian accent who was hard to understand, so I kept having to get him to repeat stuff.

My record stands at 1hr 7min aracer

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/on-the-phone-windows-have-found-a-virus-on-my-computer-lol

😉

Play some sound effects down the line.

This should do it:

[audio src="http://www.pacdv.com/sounds/machine_sound_effects/dial-up-modem-3.wav" /]

Oh and apologies for lack of caps/grammar in posts – was after quick advice and typing one handed. Also busy googling whatever he told me to type in (put him on hold when he asked me to run “www.ammyy.com”, which seemed dodgy).

Ooh – he’s called me back

game on…

1hr 7min to beat 😉

game on indeed. I do love this kind of behaviour. I actually hope you get medals. Think of all the less savvy people who would be getting ripped of during the time you are wasting. Chapeau.

Nah – have better things to do with my life. When I tried to put him on hold again, he said he’d ring me back, and I decided I couldn’t be bothered. The strange thing is that when I told him I was an IT professional and explained that I knew what it was he was doing, he still kept on the phone for another minute or so trying to explain.

The funniest bit was the gasp from him when I said I had 8,900 messages in the event viewer bit (where they try to persuade you that shows you have a virus). I should have said I’d made a mistake and actually it said 8.9 million just for the reaction!

iSimples App is good for phone fun 😀

Tell him there seems to a fault with his computer, but if he gives you his ip address, username, password and bank details, you’ll fix it.

Sorry for not lasting longer – I’ll try harder next time. Probably wasted about half an hour of his time though.

aracer – Member

Oh and apologies for lack of caps/grammar in posts – was after quick advice and typing one handed. Also busy googling whatever he told me to type in (put him on hold when he asked me to run “www.ammyy.com”, which seemed dodgy).

Ooh – he’s called me back

Ammyy itself is not dodgy, it’s remote desktop software like TeamViewer which can operate without the user needing to find out IP address or mess with firewalls.

http://www.ammyy.com/en/admin_mu.html

aracer, its not a vc or george cross performance, but I’ll put you in for a blue peter badge.

Ammyy itself is not dodgy, it’s remote desktop software like TeamViewer which can operate without the user needing to find out IP address or mess with firewalls.

Yeah – I figured that was probably the case, but wanted a few minutes to research. Interstingly there’s a link on the right of their home page about malicious use – should have asked the scammer if I should click on that.

Confuse the hell out of them.

http://www.e4.com/fonejacker/soundboard-isp-guy.html

Tell him you can only work with people who have heard your Octopus impression. Ask him if he’s ready to hear it. (they all say yes, although generally a bemused yes), then go silent for 30 seconds.

Ask “What did you think? Pretty good eh?” when the reply is “I didn’t hear anything” tell him “Of course not, I was UNDERWATER”

I do this A LOT. The kids love it. My wife, not so much 😉 No idea why I dreamt it up one day, but it’s a keeper. One bloke told me how much he had enjoyed it which had me lose the thread a bit 😉

Sorry for not lasting longer – I’ll try harder next time

Wonder how many men have said that…

The next one I have, I’m going to tell them that the firewall blocks team viewer but he should just be able to RDP to my IP address.

My address? Yes, it’s 127.43.29.6

Oooooo just had one on myself……… he didn’t like being told it was a Mac!