OP is right regarding the principle.

1. Inconsistency – if everyone gets 2nd hand gift then that’s that but if not everyone should get a new one. Cheap or expensive.

2. Respect – that’s the mum and she should be precious. You don’t give left over food for your mum to eat so why give her the discarded stuff or item you don’t want? Perhaps, the son should give a new gift in addition to the old iPad. Yes, not to waste but that is not the way.

3. Honour – the son does not know how to honour the mum. Just like parents giving the children the best in life so children should do so in return. The children should honour the parents accordingly. Yes, some family is dysfunctional but that is not the question here.

4. Character – Sometime taking care of number one self should actually be number two. The son does not know the order hence put self first above all. A son should not put self above parents unless parents are wrong but then the son should explain himself first to avoid misunderstanding.

5. Shame – It is a shame that a son does not know how the parents feel (mother or father) as we can see OP’s feeling is hurt because of the son’s action. A son should not do that to hurt the parents intentionally or unintentionally. The latter is easier to remedy.

Tell the boy to buy the mum another gift (new depending on his budget) and not being a tight arse.

Also a person’s action tells a lot about a person character.

🙂

Would you normally expect him to spend 600 quid on your wife at Xmas or 100ish?

You’re clearly fuming about it anyway. Do you have a marzocchi bomber fork? Has he left his shoes unattended?

The fact that he bought himself a new ipad is neither here nor there.
Your wife got a gift thats perfectly capable of running the apps that she will likley use.
If he’d just given her his Ipad and not replaced it, would you be upset? If he’d waited till the boxing day sales to replace his, would you be upset?

If he had bought her a new iPad, to sit on the coffee table and have her phone him once a week to remind her how to turn it on, wouldn’t we all be calling him a muppet?

(im assuming most 60+yr olds are equally as cr*p with ipads/technology as my parents are)

monkeychild – Member
#firstworldproblems

Too right! How much do you lot spend on each other? It’s only Christmas ffs! For kids innit? My Mum’s happy if she’s got a Chocolate Orange! (well, maybe a little bit more than that)

OP is not talking about the value (cheap or expensive) of the gift but rather the gesture the son demonstrated. i.e. treating himself first rather than the mum. 😯

Whether the mum knows how to drive a Ferrari (in this case using iPad) is not a question. The Ferrari can sit in the garage forever if the mum so desires and the son should ask permission to drive it if he wishes to.

Nice to see that most youngsters posts on here are on the side of my son. It is the world that we live in today no respect for anybody…..sod you Jack, i am alright attitude. As long as I get what I want?

To be fair, your son bought us all new iPads to back him up.

…although I have my suspicions mine’s a refurb.

You havent said what happens normally. Does he spend £3/400 every year, or like just a ‘token’ like many others on this thread that you are sneering at?

I think you are massively over reacting.

I’m not a youngster (Far from it!) but I don’t think he’s done anything particularly horrendous! Decided to give his mummy his iPad and had to buy himself a replacement.

My dad once gave me a secondhand Tamiya RC car which had previously belonged to him, he had upgraded to a nitro car. I was around 10 at the time and loved it, I’m now 28 but wouldn’t consider it a thoughtless gift, it was great fun and has given me a life long (well 18 year) hobby, my dad had an Rc car and thought I would appreciate it … Simple as in my opinion, if I’d kicked up a fuss about it being his old one would t that make me a spoilt brat?

If my dad had given me a life-long RC hobby, I’d kill him if he wasn’t dead already.

DezB – Member

I’m not a youngster (Far from it!) but I don’t think he’s done anything particularly horrendous! Decided to give his mummy his iPad and had to buy himself a replacement.

Yes, if it is “waste what, want not” but this is not the case since the 31 yr old boy does not know how to take into consideration the parents’ feeling. That is wrong. No if or but. The parents (father) would not be hurt if the son bought the mum a new gift instead. Cheap or expensive.

🙄

demonracer – Member
… Simple as in my opinion, if I’d kicked up a fuss about it being his old one would t that make me a spoilt brat?

Yes, it would make you a spoiled brat indeed. In your case it is fine because …

1) You were 10 yr old and still under the care of the parents.

2) You did not have income and thus should be grateful of what you got from your parents.

3) It would be unwise to give you something you could not control and perhaps damage.

4) You should learn from “waste what, want not” as a kid.

5) Giving you something more expensive would damage your expectation the following year. i.e. want even more expensive ones …

6) You should know you place.

🙄

I think you are massively over reacting.

^ this.

Its been asked on this thread several times but OP seems to be evading the question: how much is normally spent on gifts for Christmas from son to wife?

If its normally in the £100 region, then the gift seems perfectly reasonable.

So what did your wife get your son?

monkeyfudger – Member
Do you need some advice on insults as well?

I think we’re all perfectly capable of coming up with suitable insults, I can think of several for you off the top of my head, but Cougar may raise an eyebrow or two, and have a quiet word…
Just don’t push yer luck.
And I thing the act of buying a new iPad for hisself, then sticking his old one in the box the new one came in and handing it on as if it was new is more than a little cheeky.
But that’s just my humble opinion.

Hmm. I need to wrap this iPad carefully. If only I had a suitable iPad – shaped box handy……..

Yes, if it is “waste what, want not” but this is not the case since the 31 yr old boy does not know how to take into consideration the parents’ feeling

Yes, this is very true. All I can say is: weird family*. And I’m out!

*I’m sure mine’s weirder

A second hand iPad is very generous.

Sounds ok to me. A present is a present. No law says it must be new. I’ve been given loads of second hand present.

DezB – Member

Yes, this is very true. All I can say is: weird family*. And I’m out!
*I’m sure mine’s weirder

It is not weird but rather overlooked as we have forgotten our way of life.

richmars – Member
Sounds ok to me. A present is a present. No law says it must be new. I’ve been given loads of second hand present.

You missed the point completely.

No law says you should take care of your parents or loved ones too …

🙄

I doubt if I’d be into cycling if I hadn’t been given my big brothers hand-me-down bikes for Christmas while he got a new one.
He no longer rides bikes, whereas I do, so it just goes to show eh?
(no, me neither)

Son is a zombie maggot.

Everyone else just an oxygen waster.

OP is upset Dear Leader.

Someone must pay with bullet from Glock 53.

I’ve just bought myself a new bike, does that now mean that I need to keep the old one for myself and give the new one to my mother?

deadlydarcy – Member

Son is a zombie maggot.

Everyone else just an oxygen waster.

OP is upset Dear Leader.

Someone must pay with bullet from Glock 53.

deadlydarcy hijack alert! deadlydarcy hijack alert!

You got one wlong.

It should Glock 29 or 17, Benneli M4 and Sig Commando 552 …

Now, beg for forgiveness and bow wholeheartedly at Dear Leader’s feet. Ya, the shoe polish smell nice, ya, Clark shoes step on you.

😆

OP, would you be as bothered if he hadn’t bought himself a new iPad?

You got one wlong.

Oh I dunno, I’m not the one who masturbates himself to sleep every night looking at pictures of guns, so you’re gonna have to let that one go I’m afraid.

If I bought myself an new iPad, I’d just give my wife (or whoever) the old one, I wouldn’t try and pass it off as a birthday or Christmas present – that’s just tight.

deadlydarcy – Member

You got one wlong.

Oh I dunno, I’m not the one who masturbates himself to sleep every night looking at pictures of guns, so you’re gonna have to let that one go I’m afraid. [/quote]

Ya, Dear Leader let go once for forgiveness. Next time hard labour to teach lesson. 😈

OP is not talking about the value (cheap or expensive) of the gift but rather the gesture the son demonstrated. i.e. treating himself first rather than the mum

Nice to see that most youngsters posts on here are on the side of my son. It is the world that we live in today no respect for anybody…..sod you Jack, i am alright attitude. As long as I get what I want?

My wifes mum once replaced her 3yo Vauxhaul Corsa and decided to give the the ‘old one’ to her (then 19yo) daughter and her mum chose to drive around in the new one.

Simply despicable behavior! 🙄

My wifes mum once replaced her 3yo Vauxhaul Corsa and decided to give the the ‘old one’ to her (then 19yo) daughter and her mum chose to drive around in the new one.

Simply despicable behavior!

something with a residual value of <£100 given as a birthday gift is slightly different from a 3 year old car.

It’s not about the value though is it, it’s about how it made her daughter feel.

I gave my brother my no longer required but still spotless Deuter child carrier for Christmas one year. This was when they were going for circa £100 on ebay. Otherwise I’d have spent £30 or so much on him. So, it was a second hand item, which on one hand cost me nowt as I already had it, but on the other hand giving it to him cost me a net £70 or thereabouts. The only difference I can see is that the OPs son and I had different reasons for our items becoming surplus to requirements. (For the record, he was delighted to have it for his new baby). Funny thing is, when I first read the OP, I thought ‘that’s a bit off’, but logically I can’t see any real difference – I can’t see how giving something away which I could have sold for £100 in my pocket is ungenerous.

Hope he erased all of his porn stash could get a bit embarrassing !!!

sod you Jack, i am alright attitude. As long as I get what I want?

If she doesn’t want it I’ll have it.
Not a fan of Istuff but it’ll raise a few quid on ebay you ungreatfull bastard.

yep, absolute piss take. Clearly put no thought or effort into a gift for your wife; he’s just got rid of his cast offs that he’d otherwise be selling on ebay.

Probably worth having a word with him, otherwise it might become an annual occurrence everytime he decides to “upgrade.”

Get him to take the ipad back and get a present with some thought and effort put into it, such as a pan set, some perfume, a debenhams voucher etc.

Gently drop it a few times then ask him to return it under warranty as it appears to be broken?

Gently drop it a few times then ask him to return it under warranty as it appears to be broken?

Or just swap it for his new one next time you’re around his house.

If you at least referred to your wife as my wife, you know, someone you are somehow attached to, instead of the wife, you know, like an appliance, maybe your son may have learned what respect looked like from his dad?
Would have been a sight less confusing as to whose wife it was as well. Doesn’t stop it being a cheap trick if he was trying to pass it off as new though…

Nothing wrong with second hand. The problem here is passing something off as new when it isn’t, plus the fact its a cheap and selfish trick just to upgrade his own iPad. I’d have a gentle word that it’s not really acceptable.

Sounds a bit shabby to me. I blame the parents.