PFI was fundamentally an excellent idea, as often is the case the implementation was weak. There should have been strict guidelines on the type of contracts signed in terms of financing costs, too many public bodie signed contracts for short term benefit with very negative cash flow implications later on. IMO this is typical of short term political type gain where you are only interested in getting elected next time round. Without “shareholders” to keep you in check management can sell a business out (eg hospital) longer term just to balance the books today

but its just the stretched out twattery

Back to my comments on destroying decent classic/old cars.

The feature where they ripped into the Peugeot 407. A car that has what failings exactly? Thats when I start getting tired of him.

The jaunt across Syria etc in the convertibles. Again bashing up decent cars. They could have just done an ace roadtrip. Why the need to bash off road or customise?

The jaunt across Syria etc in the convertibles. Again bashing up decent cars. They could have just done an ace roadtrip. Why the need to bash off road or customise?

Because that’s what they think the audience wants.

Apparently Clarkson dobbed himself in to the BBC.

Morons back for no other reason that stating the petition seems to have hit 820k

annnd..

I’d like to see this hit 16 pages.

😛

You’re complaining about people complaining about TG despite not watching it, when you clearly haven’t read the rest of the thread 🙄

If you had, you’d notice that most of them used to be big fans of TG – personally I don’t watch it at all any more, but I used to, and stopped watching because I couldn’t stand Jezza any more – you don’t need to watch TG to know he’s a knob (I’ve also watched recently enough to be able to agree with the other comments about the programme).

The jaunt across Syria etc in the convertibles. Again bashing up decent cars. They could have just done an ace roadtrip. Why the need to bash off road or customise?

Your thinking is all wrong. We need to save Top Gear from becoming boring.

My humble suggestion:

The SCENE

1. Get sexy female TV and film stars in life-jackets to construct three parallel cross-channel floating pontoons out of old car and bicycle tubes, on some tissue-thin premise that they must do so with their arms tied behind their backs, and using only their teeth, knees and whatever else available.

2. Once pontoons are completed there is a massive (think general election scale) live-as-it-happens blokey-vote as to the worst cars ever made. In history. Ever.

When the vote comes in Susannah Reed (dressed as a Nazi-era über-fraulein) drives an example of each of these fated cars out onto the pontoon, and packs them with explosive charges. The last in Dover, the first somewhere in France, preferably a small village, preferably unpronounceable and notable only by its lack of notability.

The last car on each pontoon shall have a comedy-grade touch-fuse protruding from the exhaust. Some exhaust jokes will fit in here. The first cars on the pontoon which are located in a small unpronounceable sleepy harbour shall be surrounded by giant bales of stacked french cheeses and bicycles. In fact every type of French cheese know to mankind. A veritable mountain of cheese. And bicycles.

The RACE

3. Three pretend schoolboys all dressed as middle-aged men shall then engage in a mantomime race across the downs to White Cliffs Of Dover, all in costume, ie Mexican in sombrero, a french person with onions, and a mincing gay communist with an urban beard. Some well-worn stereotypes and sniggering will fit in here.

4. At the cliff’s edge – each arriving intrepid mantomime stereotype contestant must employ their chosen method of lighting the touch-paper. One will be a homemade RPG, the other a Black Widow catapult loaded with firecrackers, the last a box of soggy French matches. Slow-motion sad-faced incompetent loser jokes fit here.

Two of the fuses are now lit, dambuster theme is played at deafening levels, engage camaraderie mode and downplaying. Pay special attention to the Lada and the French cars as they explode, possibly make a few jokes about mixing oil and marine life/Flipper the dolphin together, along with mock ‘oooops’ sad face from chief Panto-man. No time to dwell on that, we have a duff car. Cut to the Mexican costumed Pantoman going through the French matches and cursing as they fall soggily to the bottom of the cliffs. He has to cheat, so gets rigged up in absailing gear and is helped down by a professional, finally using a Union Jack Clipper lighter directly on the fuse.

The MOCKED SILENCE

5. The explosives fizzle and it begins to rain. Weather jokes cued. Someone’s chain goes out. But look! someone is heading out a WW2 BMW sidecar outfit fitted with waterskis. It’s, it’s … Susannah Reed, dressed as a Nazi, accidentally showing a bit of leg! What’s more Tom Cruise with an eyepatch is in the sidecar with a flaming torch, trying like crazy to reignite the chain (cue Fleetwood Mac)

The WARGASM

6. Sun returns from behind clouds. The previously duff car-charge sputters , re-ignites and the renewed chain of explosions now romp swiftly France-wards, finally taking out the last twenty hated cars before erupting in a gigantic explosion of cheese which causes the French locals to fall off their bicycles and drop their onions.

A 2CV is found survived and floating, upturned, cue jokes, it finally sinks.

And on that bomb-shell – we return to the aircraft hangar/studio to rapturous applause with faux-schoolboy banter from the mantomime players.

Punchlines.

The End.

Not reading all that.

Not reading all that.

But you’d spend an our watching it. Bet you real cash money! It’s the bestest episode ever or I want my coffee break back 🙁

Apparently Clarkson dobbed himself in to the BBC.

Plus independent witnesses say nothing about any violence, just that the bloke got torn a new arsehole for not sorting the food

Given the claims in some of the newspapers over the last week, It’s looking like a good day for Jeremys libel lawyers! 😆

Isn’t it just?
Has anyone suggested, er, reptilian involvement?

I suggest we pay him off and consolodate Sunday night viewing into one, high budget extravaganza the whole family can enjoy:

It’s finally time for Poldark On Mopeds…..
[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHrttt1Tpug[/video]

If you had, you’d notice that most of them used to be big fans of TG – personally I don’t watch it at all any more, but I used to, and stopped watching because I couldn’t stand Jezza any more – you don’t need to watch TG to know he’s a knob (I’ve also watched recently enough to be able to agree with the other comments about the programme).

I’m in that club – used to watch it before the reboot, and when they did the reboot it knocked my socks off, best show on telly. It’s just that, after four or five seasons of it being EXACTLY the same show week in week out, the novelty wore off.

The odd thing about Clarkson is, as much as he’s a knob on Top Gear and anything else he appears on, the occasional war-based documentaries he does are ace.

The odd thing about Clarkson is, as much as he’s a knob on Top Gear and anything else he appears on, the occasional war-based documentaries he does are ace.

Ssshhhhhhh.

The anti Clarkson crowd don’t like any suggestion at all that he’s playing an exaggerated “character” on top gear 🙂

Any chance you will be defending him rather spending your time ad homing those with different views from you ?

Any chance you will be defending him

Im waiting to see what he’s done/not done before passing comment on the actual incident.

rather spending your time ad homing those with different views from you ?

Lighten up 😕

Who am I supposed to be “ad homing” anyway.

Even if my comment wasn’t intended in jest, it’s “attacking” a point of view, not a persons character, so don’t see the relevance of “ad hominem” accusation.

It’s just that, after four or five seasons of it being EXACTLY the same show week in week out, the novelty wore off

Thing is, we were hearing exactly that complaint a few years ago, that it was tired, past it, formulaic, not creative etc. then they went and did the space shuttle thing and everyone unanimously jumped up and down saying ‘best bit of telly ever’

Then we went back to the griping and moaning, and they went and did Vietnam, and the same people whining here now were raving over it.

Thing is, we were hearing exactly that complaint a few years ago, that it was tired, past it, formulaic, not creative etc. then they went and did the space shuttle thing and everyone unanimously jumped up and down saying ‘best bit of telly ever’

Then we went back to the griping and moaning, and they went and did Vietnam, and the same people whining here now were raving over it.
See now, I’ve not watched them, so I can’t comment. But I’d bet my bikes on there not being a single thing about either of them that isn’t predictable or hasn’t been done before. I did catch about three minutes of one in New Zealand where May and Hammond were on a boat (cue obvious seasickness and sailor jokes) and Clarkson was racing cross-country – Clarkson meets tractor in hilarious “can I squeeze through that narrow gap?” scrapes-car-down-stone-wall jape. Tired and obvious, and the attempts to make a set-up gag look live just pi$$ me right off, and they do the same thing every… Single… Week.

3. The ‘complainant’ was not the bloke hit, but some tofu knitting, luvvie, guardian reading BBC intern who saw a couple of blokes arseing about/bantering from the other side of the room and ran home crying about it, so that by the time it got home to auntie Beeb everything had been blown out of proportion.

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson initiated the BBC investigation which prompted his suspension, after he informed BBC bosses of the alleged “fracas”.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-31869967

Who am I supposed to be “ad homing” anyway.

[ Sherlock mode] is it the people you addressed the comment to? “anti-clarksons” I think you called them …erm I mean their view.[ Sherlock mode]

fracas over tapas .

I thought that might have been a headline, somewhere along the line.
“steak ta ta” was poor in comparison.

Ive been a bit bored by the same formula over the past few series and not been bothered about watching it much, however….last night I watched the previous episode on iplayer when Clarkson was testing the new V8 Jag XFR and comparing to another retro jag.

He was brilliant, no one else can do it like he does it, others have tried to copy his literary use of words, his delivery etc but they can’t come close. Watch it and try and imagine someone else doing it better, or even differently. His comparison of the car to a small child with a violin at the end was pure Clarkson.

Ive signed!

https://www.change.org/p/british-broadcasting-corporation-replace-jeremy-clarkson-with-julian-clary-as-presenter-of-top-gear

Ive signed!

https://www.change.org/p/british-broadcasting-corporation-replace-jeremy-clarkson-with-julian-clary-as-presenter-of-top-gear

I can’t even be bothered to find a slow clap GIF.

well its the perfect petition for you njee , autofill does all the work, claryfication is only 2 mouseclicks away 😆

I really don’t like Julian Clary, he’s just not funny.

which would make him the perfect clarkson replacement!

others have tried to copy his literary use of words, his delivery etc but they can’t come close.

Er.. one-sided boorish views and embarassingly over-long twisted similes? Yeah, thankfully no-one else can do that. Or wants to.

I think they should go completely hatstand and have, like, Clare Balding or David Dimbleby or someone. Zane Lowe’s gonna have time on his hands soon, isn’t he? 🙂

[ Sherlock mode] is it the people you addressed the comment to? “anti-clarksons” I think you called them …erm I mean their view.[ Sherlock mode]

Ok, so that’s who.

Now can you explain how I attacked anyone’s character rather than discussing their point of view ?

All I said was that that the anti clarkson crowd don’t like the suggestion that his top gear persona is in any way a “Character” that he plays.

If you can squeeze an “ad hominem” accusation out of that, you are working from a different definition than I am ?

The anti Clarkson crowd don’t like any suggestion at all that he’s playing an exaggerated “character” on top gear

Don’t spoil the fun, Neal, the professionally offended need to be fed and JC piles it high just for them! Perhaps he could wear a Coco the Clown outfit to remove any ambiguity in future. That would fit in well at Ch 5 with a topless presenter in tow.

I bet Oisin didn’t know he had SO many friends! His lawyer is now warming up too.

professionally offended or just enjoying the irony of trolling clarkson fans? 😉

Everyone on this thread is being trolled by everyone else.

Clarkson would shed a tear if he were to read it.

rockhopper70 – Member
fracas over tapas .

I thought that might have been a headline, somewhere along the line.
“steak ta ta” was poor in comparison.

It only works if you don’t know how to pronounce ‘fracas’. Or maybe ‘tapas’ I suppose. 😉

others have tried to copy his literary use of words, his delivery etc but they can’t come close.

Er.. one-sided boorish views and embarassingly over-long twisted similes? Yeah, thankfully no-one else can do that. Or wants to.

What a very stupid thing to say Moley….you’re showing yourself up. If you watch any car review type programme, they have almost all tried to include the clever analogys that Clarkson does so well. However they don’t have his use of words or delivery and fail.

Which is possibly why TG has a worldwide fan base of many millions and the only other Car review programme has a UK audience of thousands.

^^^ neither of you have it quite right

He is beloved by the deep thinkers for his dazzling lexicographic talents, not seen since the bard himself

Simultaneously he is able to appeal to the casual racist and mysoginist with his nudge,wink bar room banter

Time for Bob Carolgees to make a comeback?

well its the perfect petition for you njee , autofill does all the work, claryfication is only 2 mouseclicks away

That I laughed at, well done!

kimbers – Member
professionally offended or just enjoying the irony of trolling clarkson fans?

Well hopefully in the spirit of light entertainment, merely having a giggle. That’s all this is worth.

It’s a bloody weekly TV show and JC has become an exaggerated caricature of himself. Why the angst?

Why the angst?

are you new to internet forums and stw? 😉

Where’s Jiveybaby when needed, there’s a conspiracy here to be unmasked:

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/mar/12/nhs-agrees-largest-ever-privatisation-deal-to-tackle-backlog

The words “good day to bury bad news” keep springing to mind!