..for the most utterly, utterly cretinous cycling “lifestyle” product is:

http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/menssociety/product/bike-wine-holder

£35 FFS…for the privilege of picking shards of glass out of your knackers after a stoppie.

Metropolitan types, what’s wrong with carrying your bottle of Merlot in a standard bottle cage like everyone else? Eh?

Merlot? I’m not keen on red whilst cycling, something fresh and white goes down better, maybe a nice Lambrini.

Harumph. I suppose you moisturize too.

Harumph. I suppose you moisturise too.

You mean you don’t? Daaarrrhhhling! You’re missing out!

Shouldn’t you match the wine against wheel size?

If it was mounted on the seat tube then you could employ the use of a long straw. 😀

Hey now there’s an idea. A hydration system for cyclists which allows them to imbibe liquid through a long straw whilst riding… hang on.

Shouldn’t you match the wine against wheel size?

24″ = WKD Blue
26″ = Jacobs Creek
650b = Red Bull
29er = Old Thumper
700c = Lambrini

men don’t moisturise, they hydrate.

Shouldn’t the wine just be whatever colour best matches your bike?

Mine’s orange, so Buckfast Tonic Wine would work… and be appropriate for a number of different reasons

Scots can’t leave UK and keep Buckfast Tonic Wine says Chancellor

What wine for a fatbike?

Not wine, beer m’dears

To carry ^^^

RM.

It looks like it could double up as some kind of fetish-wear so maybe it could justify the outlay.

You’ll be wanting one of these to go with it:

Campag Cork Screw

BigButSlimmerBloke wins for me. One of my favourite beers when I am stateside.
I have a Kona MinUte for my beverage carrying duties, and beer only. Imagine the embarrassment of arriving at a party with one bottle of wine or only 6 beers.

If I could make money out of selling pointless tat to rich idiots I would.

Good luck to them!

Come on Harry, there was no need to bring Rapha into the conversation.