Dear xxxx and all the other people who have been fortunate to know me,

I'm thrilled to inform you all that I'm leaving the company.

I have been waiting for what seems like forever to inform you that I’m leaving. I’ve hated working for the company since the day I was hired. I don’t like the work, I don’t like my fellow employees, and I don’t like you.

I am tendering my resignation effective immediately 31/06/10 and I’m heading for the open road. I’ve bought a Harley and a leather jacket and my girlfriend Tracey is coming along.

I know you would like me to help you with a transition period, but I won’t. Have fun figuring out the files on my computer. I can’t even figure them out most of the time.

Oh, speaking of computers, you’ll need to figure out the passwords to all our online resources. I forgot to keep a list of them, so have fun with that.

I’m sure you’d like to have a going away party for me. However, I’m not interested in the stale donuts and nasty larger that constitutes saying goodbye at this company.

Don’t worry about writing me a reference, even though I’m sure you’d be glad to recommend my work. I don’t need or want one. I don’t need references where I’m heading. So, consider our bridges burnt.

Happy To Be Gone

xxxx

so when is he/she coming back?

Bit arsey. Was he going for humour, or coming over a right git?

Is it even real?

Is it even real?

er, the date on it?

wrong date and a couple of spelling errors (although possibly mis-types from aP)
If its real…that person has been waiting a long time to do that, and is very pleased to be going!

haha thats inspired me for the future for sure 😀

I’ve bought a Harley and a leather jacket and my girlfriend Tracey is coming along.

Harley, not planning to go far then.

Leaving with the company passwords is not really funny, and he could also be prosecuted for it I reckon.

no-one really has a girlfriend called Tracey!

I've been at a couple of places where I'd have loved to have written a letter like that, but it smacks of made up to me

Several years ago i worked for a large gaming machine company, who worked us long hours for little pay.
One of our service tech's (based in Preston)got a new job working on the cruise ships servicing the machines working around the Caribbean, he kept this quiet until the morning he was due to leave.

He rang the office telling the boss he was a complete w&nker, and that he was leaving the car in the most expensive car park at the airport that he could find with the keys locked inside.

After hours of searching Manchester airport (the closest) with the spare keys, the Police eventually called days later to say the car had been found at Gatwick with a note on the dashboard saying "keys in glovebox and loads of expensive tools in the boot"

It cost them a fortune to get it out of the car park too!

The guy was from then on always classed as a hero! 😆

(They ended up disciplining another tech who let slip a few weeks later that he knew it was going to happen but kept quiet)

I’ve bought a Harley

My condolences.

pacemaker, pure genius

I'd love to have written something like that when I left my last job – 6 years of hassle and a horrid department of difficult people who I thought I could turn around. Haven't missed them for a nano-second and, despite being paid a lot less now, have a great job, with great colleagues and decent prospects! Googled resignation letters at the time and found some stuff like this. Stuck to a stock resignation though, as I knew I'd need them as a second reference at some point.

Over the years I have come to regard you as, people I met.

– Rimmer.

Never had the bottle to burn bridges myself…maybe next time 🙂

If you're leaving the job, why bother? They cease to exist the moment you walk out the door.

Doing a letter like that gives them a hook into your memory because you'll keep thinking about it.

You're out. Forget them.

You do realise it's a pisstake with full beers in the evening?

I have to say I don't get it. How was it funny again?