blokes who haven’t kicked a ball themselves in many years.

… yet go to the pub dressed as their favourite footballer.

tomhoward
Full Member
It’s not so much what they do, as much as what they don’t do, tbh.

This sums it up for me.

I can definitely see that the UK government banning of handguns was an incredibly smart move.

People who scuff their shoes whilst walking. Unless you have a disability or injury it takes a tiny bit more effort to pick your feet up and walk like an adult.

Emails. Everything is a **** email.

Do you not have a work phone on which you can check said emails? Takes all of 10 seconds. Either that or tell people to call you instead. Seems like a pretty easy to solve issue, especially if it’s a small company.

Guy on my team seeks affirmation on *almost* everything he does. ‘What do you think I should do Mike?’ he says to me after telling me the whole history of the case and while I wasn’t listening coz I was too busy doing my own bloody job. ‘what’s that steve, tell me again’ so he proceeds to tell me the whole history again. Helen comes back from the loo ‘what do you think I should do here Helen?’ ‘what’s that steve?’ proceeds to tell Helen the whole history. Our TM is the most chilled guy ever, such an excellent boss, even he snapped at Steve the other day. Steve asked him what he should do on a case, TM told him what he thinks he should do, Steve says ‘okay but don’t you think I should do this?’ TM snaps ‘I dunno Steve, you make a decision!’ …. we’re all smirking into our keyboards. I love steve to bits, he’s a lovely guy but fgs you’re paid to do the job, generally you can do it and you’re mandated to make decisions, make them!

The person or persons that realises that they can now set up meetings using MS Office and invite far too many people all of the time to sort out minor problems that should take minutes to sort out but take hours because too many people are involved. An excellent way of filling your day with non productive rubbish. So now it’s a case of if you can’t sort the problem out then by all means give me a knock when you’re all there and I’ll pop down to the conference room but never ever invite me again by email.

Oh and the word reconvene means you’ve just wasted your time and nothing has been achieved or sorted out!

I have one office colleague these days. She’s ace and pretty chill mostly. Sometime when I’ve been staring too long at the computer, she’ll bring a toy over so we can go play for a few mins.

She does have the annoying habit of pestering me whenever I’m eating and wanting a wee tit-bit, especially toast and get super excited when the postman / delivery driver rings the bell.

Sounds like a bitch.

Those that expect me to reschedule my life so they can have a meeting when I’m already busy.

“I know, I’ll send Mert a meeting invite, they can help”

Then they get pissy because I decline their invite because I’m on lunch, driving home, or on holiday.
Or, on one occasion, asleep.

she’ll bring a toy over so we can go play for a few mins.

I would definitely get annoyed by that buzzing

Not putting an Out Of Office on when someone is away when you’d expect them to be in. In a large, shift based environment it really helps!

There’s a driver at our place who makes everyone’s urine boil simply by turning up for work.
Mind you since she knocked an old man down in Harrogate (not her fault) I doubt if she’ll be back even after she’s had her 6 months on full pay then another 6 on half pay.
He place is much more relaxed at the mo.

I have one office colleague these days. She’s ace and pretty chill mostly. Sometime when I’ve been staring too long at the computer, she’ll bring a toy over so we can go play for a few mins.

She does have the annoying habit of pestering me whenever I’m eating and wanting a wee tit-bit, especially toast and get super excited when the postman / delivery driver rings the bell

My work colleague insists on sitting on my lap and trying to move the mouse when I’m trying to work. I’m considering complaining to HR about him 🙂

The person or persons that realises that they can now set up meetings using MS Office

Or, indeed if your workplace uses MS teams, why not go the extra mile and create a new team! I share many of the above annoyances, but on the other hand (to get things in perspective) at least I don’t have to worry about pick rates (I watched ‘Life and Death in the Warehouse’ last night).

I hate to tell you, but they are more productive than you AND don’t die of work induced heart attacks at the age of 50.

Don’t try to get the Swedes to adopt your ridiculous work culture. Adopt theirs.

Did you actually read the post?

Did you actually read the post?

Yes. Did you?

@squirrelking
No, not morgan.
But he is old enough to retire, I genuinely wonder if he’s starting to dement tbh.
He’s not malicious, he just can’t remember who he’s told a particular story to, or whether it’s true.

People that reply to all just to say “thanks”.

People that get in to work at 7.30am to work so they can **** off home at 3.30pm when the rest of their colleagues are there to at least 5pm but insist it’s flexi so don’t have to stay if there’s something important to cover. Especially when they spend the first 45 minutes chomping on cornflakes and checking Facebook.

In fact anyone that sees at least the first 45 minutes of work as a social event to catch up with Margery from accounts on who was best on Britains got talent from last night. Get to work you idle ****.

People who still smoke so go outside for a fag break 10 times a day but don’t deduct it from their flexi so basically get a free half day a week (probably still taking to Margery from accounts).

Nose breathers on Teams calls.

The prick who uses my Nespresso machine which I put in the kitchen, admittedly for anyone to use, but can’t be arsed to empty their pods afterwards.

When working abroad with Americans they used to arrange meals after work and passively aggressively expect you to come along in your own time.

Our staff are brilliant and I love my job.
Does that help?

Life’s too short to get wound up by the petty trivialities encountered during the course of a working day…

I turn up, do my work, do my best to get along with everyone as it just makes everything easier, and then go home. At 3:30pm, because I have flexible start/finish and got in at half 7.. 😉

Management who, this year, have failed to communicate notices to departments. Same management who call themselves management, but coworkers say aren’t, and they have an extreme dislike for.

Me, I have a job to do and don’t tend to get interfered with, and don’t hold animosity like the rest.

But……. If theres an event and I’m allowed to go home, I don’t expect to have had to go through the 2hr20min enforced lunchbreak (I can hide in my office and work) then turn up to my classroom, where I then message 20-45mins later to ask where my learnera are, only to find everything was canceled due to the event and no one told me, costing me 3hrs of potential home time.

I start to understand why management, that isn’t management, is hated so much.

There’s that person who has responsibility for certain equipment, or project, or area of business. When you tell them of a problem relating to such a thing they’re responsible for answers with…
“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”
Sort out the problem you are paid to make sure gets sorted? Stop being an idle slacker who hopes Nd expects that someone else will do it? Stop finding ways to not do work that is job to do rather than have to be told directly by your line manager to do it, and what exactly needs to be done.

As I work on a ship there are 4 of us doing the same job. On board/on leave, and on watch/off watch.
When one of my colleagues has been too slack to set up something in an efficient way as that would take some time and effort, and therefore has burdened the rest of us with ongoing misery and toil.

Worse, is when one of the clowns has agreed or cajoled into taking on an additional task or function WHICH IS NOTHING TO DO WITH US!

People in positions of authority who make common language & spelling mistakes, looking at you ‘there’ instead of ‘their’ and putting apostrophes in plural words.

You’ve started me off now..
There’s people who think I do nothing all day long.

Yes, that’s exactly my job if everything has been done right. If I have to do something it’s because something has gone wrong, or needs changing, or the plan has altered (normally because of someone else’s lack of planning).

A dull day is a good day, if it’s exciting it’s because bad stuff is happening.

Team meetings in the staff room/ office used to wind me up. Especially if they didn’t use a head set.

Old boss, would micro manage and want to be in controll of everything then forget to contact employers, forget meetings, forget just about anything important.

Oh not really a colleague but the company deciding we don’t need phones now we have teams, only for the phone part of teams to not let me call outside the business.

Do you not have a work phone on which you can check said emails? Takes all of 10 seconds. Either that or tell people to call you instead. Seems like a pretty easy to solve issue, especially if it’s a small company

I do have a smartphone but I spend probably half of my working day driving at least.

Yes it has been mentioned.

As far as I’m concerned Email me if you maybe want a response the same day or so.
Text me if it’s more urgent
Phone me if it’s time critical.

I just get bullied at work, they steal my tools and gloves, sneak up behind me and push me over in flower beds, generally just mess about for hours and then think it’s ok to take naps whenever they choose.
Bloody Labradors

Manager: ‘Hey FMC, can you write some promo about this thing we have coming up? Here’s some info.

Me: ‘Sure, here’s a first draft written for the audiences and platforms you’ve defined in simple, succinct language with clear calls to action, let me know what you think’.

Manager: ‘Oh no, I wanted something more like this wordy drivel with overlong sentences, bad grammar and a load of information I didn’t tell you about’.

Me: ‘OK, how about this version with all the extra info reworded to be readable by normal humans?’

Manager: ‘Oh no, I much preferred mine.’

Yes, I am looking for a new job. For many reasons.

People in positions of authority who make common language & spelling mistakes

One of the senior managers at my workplace signs off emails with ‘Live long and prosper 🖖’. Doesn’t boil my urine (life’s too short), but doesn’t help with taking the message that precedes it seriously either.

Sometimes I miss working in a business with colleagues, as being a sole trader can be a bit lonesome sometimes.

Then I read a thread like this.

How do you not all go mad? I am impressed by your collective ability not to commit murder or at least GBH.

My dogs annoy me sometimes, they sit watching what I’m doing and sometimes get involved, especially if I’m using power tools or their’s a slightest chance that a mouse might be around.
Sometimes the look on their face says “I wouldn’t do it like that”.
The thing is, they’re often right!

I’ve picked up a global project that previously had little or no governance and was pretty much a free for all. As it is, almost every element is a mess and it’s like trying to piece together a ming vase, delivered by hermes and lobbed over the fence, when I didn’t even ask for a ming vase in the first place.

Anyway, one guy who has had a free reign to do stuff due to aforementioned lack of any kind of governance is very passive aggressively pushing back on any kind of guidance or management we’re trying to build around it; all very polite but with a barely disguised level of contempt.

This culminated in him name dropping a senior leader who had apparently given him approval for his ‘plan’.

He didn’t like it when I told him I knew said senior leader well and we could phone him immediately to discuss it. He also doesn’t know I’m good mates with the person who owns the policy he keeps citing.

What pisses me off most though is that the changes he needs to make are so minuscule but will be hugely beneficial to the people affected. He’s just annoyed he doesn’t have the keys to the car anymore.

Then I read a thread like this.

How do you not all go mad?

No word of exaggeration, I nearly did. An open-plan office full of ‘normal’ people was an absolute nightmare, I couldn’t cope with it.

I performed a hostile takeover of an old office room that was being used as a storage cupboard. I figured I’d declare it my office and wait until someone complained. In a very real sense it saved my sanity, if I hadn’t done that I would have had to quit.

Managers who call you ten times a day to see where you are even though they scheduled your job then have a hissy fit at you on my rare appearance in the office demanding to know why you never answer when they call.
” Because you’re name appears on my screen”
Wasn’t the answer they wanted but they stopped calling.

We have an office whistler.

The A Team, The Entertainer, Good King Wenceslas… you name it, he’ll **** whistle it. All day. Every day.

The guys that come in from their lunchtime walk to exclaim that “it’s boiling in here” and then proceed to turn on the aircon and set it at 16-18 degrees.

You’ve just come in from the cold, it’s warmer inside, just deal with it for a few minutes – you’ll acclimatise!