Sometimes i can sit at my desk and my old boy will be whistling, due to the urine boiling deep in my bladder.

Such thing include, but are not limited to….

Noisy eating – One particular co-working makes such unexplainable noises whilst eating. They also seem to be able to buy the crunchiest bread on the plant. Another is one of those people who crunch their crisps as they go in, not once in… and they start on them at 8:15 in the morning.

Another noise one…. making clicking noises with their mouth. Only a new phenomenon, but freaking annoying nonetheless.

A senior member wearing headphones as it ‘helps them concentrate’, but its a ball ache to get their attention anytime you need to communicate. Its an office of 5 or 6 people, not a rave!

Folks asking you to do something that they can do – Yeah ask me, so i will email the same person you can email, for me to get an answer, to then relay it back to you… you tit.

Being late – hey if your going to be 5 minutes late, you may as well be 15 minutes late and rock up with a caffe-latte-mocha-chocka-shota-cocka and a pastry.

An already mentioned co-worker doesnt take lunch at lunch time, they have it an hour or so after. I dont get why an entire office and factory can manage to have lunch at midday (slightly early, but thats how it is), yet this one person cant. I used to feel guilty disturbing them, now i dont care, as its not lunch time!!

A boss not knowing the value of the parts we sell, so they ask me, a few times a week, every week…. write them down!!

Another co-worker not reading emails, as they cant be bothered, so then they have to ask questions that the answer to are in the email, despite this being pointed out to them.

And the list rumbles on……..

Am i having a bad day??? Possibly!

Share your frustrations to make me feel better! 😀

Have you considered changing jobs?

Have you ever considered it’s not them, it’s you…

Steal teaspoons

A senior member wearing headphones as it ‘helps them concentrate’, but its a ball ache to get their attention anytime you need to communicate.

People who interrupt me when I’m trying to work, despite having to resort to wearing headphones to dissuade them and they still won’t leave me alone.

An already mentioned co-worker doesnt take lunch at lunch time, they have it an hour or so after.

People who leave for lunch when everyone else is also out, leaving the office unmanned rather than providing cover.

I used to feel guilty disturbing them, now i dont care, as its not lunch time!!

People who interrupt your lunch break with “I know you’re on lunch but…”

For me it’s not so much what they do as what they don’t do, which is almost everything they are paid to do, lazy wastes of space👿

General Lucifer is that you?

A colleague of mine,
1: started a rumour that i had driven a company vehicle into a company directors car.
(No accident of any kind happened)
2:started a rumour that a colleague (who, according to him was 45) had a stroke and was lucky to survive.
(She had a migraine, she’s 34, and she looks it)
3:routinely complains about being passed over for a job within the company, that he didn’t apply for. Also complains that another guy didn’t even get an interview, despite also NOT applying for the same job.
Persists with this horse*hit, even after being warned by management for it.
What a dick.
Some people.

People who interrupt your lunch break with “I know you’re on lunch but…”

this. A million times this

His stuff is great!

https://generallucifer.wordpress.com/

Aha things that boil my piss with work colleagues…

Emails. Everything is a **** email.

I’m mobile so am either driving or working.
I’ve had an email to ask me to attend a site that’s on my way home.
Of course I don’t see that email until I get home grrr.

A phone call is almost always quicker, easier and legal for me to answer, or at least acknowledge so I can stop and talk, rather than stab angrily at a crappy smartphone.
No paper trail I guess.

It could be a fear of me telling them to get off their fat arse and check the shelf in the stores for the doodad they’re asking me if we hold in stock when how the **** will I know sat in traffic in central London.

Copying the boss into an email about a possible error I’ve made, then not copying the boss into the email when it turns out it’s an office **** up .

If I’m being picked up by a colleague for a job, I’ll be watching for their arrival and out the door.
If it’s the other way round, I don’t expect to have to phone them when outside, then wait 10 mins.

The list goes on

@dazh – many times, but once the dust settles, i do like my job and my co-workers, its just on the odd ‘stressful’ day that the annoyances seem to surface or scratch at me a little more.

@jam-bo – paaaah! As if!!! 😀

Another co-worker not reading emails, as they cant be bothered, so then they have to ask questions that the answer to are in the email, despite this being pointed out to them.

In the relatively early days of office email (actually something called Lotus Notes), a colleague used to get up from his desk, lumber heavily to one of the two computer workstations in the office/lab and laboriously and loudly type an email (two finger typing).

He’d then get up and lumber back to his desk. After a little while, the process would be repeated as he went back to check the emails. In the (usual) event of a non-response, he’d sigh heavily and lumber off to the next door lab to actually talk to the person he’d emailed 30 minutes previously.

It was an effective way of wasting time, I’ll give him that.

Emails. Everything is a **** email.

I’m mobile so am either driving or working.
I’ve had an email to ask me to attend a site that’s on my way home.
Of course I don’t see that email until I get home grrr.

Why “grr” rather than “oh well”? It’s their fault and their loss.

I work for an Anglo Swedish company. The Swedes always book meetings over Uk lunchtime if you did it to them there would be a riot.

I work in an open plan office the acoustics are dreadful there’s no soundproofing so there are few folk who speak so load you can’t hear yourself think but they refuse to use conference rooms

Why “grr” rather than “oh well”? It’s their fault and their loss.

Because I then have to make the choice of a long day or letting the client down.

Because I then have to make the choice of a long day or letting the client down.

It’s not you letting the client down.

Posties are paid hourly, they get paid meal relief according to how long their shift lasts, yet we have (often newcomers, but also some dinosaurs) who come in and work early for upto ~90mins free; don’t take or account for their meal relief; don’t claim overtime for going past their contract hours…

While duties get bigger; duties don’t all get covered everyday; overall workload increases; we all get older and our bodies fall apart well before retirement age etc.

People who choose a window seat, and then close the blinds because “it’s too bright” so plunging the rest of the office into gloom. Don’t sit next to the damn window then !!!

Walk into the room I’m working in, crank the heating up to 30 degrees (because she’s “always cold”) and then walk out again. 20minutes later I work out why I’m sweating so much.

My pet hate is the bastards that leave everthing at their arse. Leave dirty dishes on the draining board. Leave paper towels on the draining board (right next to the bin). Leave ready meal trays on the draining board (right next to the bin). Don’t empty the water cooler spill tray. Don’t clean their crumbs, sauce or lasagne off the table when they’re done. I could see the point but most of the ones that do it are never bloody away from the place.

Noisy eating – One particular co-working makes such unexplainable noises whilst eating. They also seem to be able to buy the crunchiest bread on the plant.

Ever considered that the solution may be

wearing headphones as it ‘helps them concentrate’

A colleague of mine,
1: started a rumour that i had driven a company vehicle into a company directors car.
(No accident of any kind happened)
2:started a rumour that a colleague (who, according to him was 45) had a stroke and was lucky to survive.
(She had a migraine, she’s 34, and she looks it)
3:routinely complains about being passed over for a job within the company, that he didn’t apply for. Also complains that another guy didn’t even get an interview, despite also NOT applying for the same job.
Persists with this horse*hit, even after being warned by management for it.
What a dick.
Some people.

Surname isn’t Morgan is it? Had one that did that until he retired, would start all sorts of rumours and even tell folk shit to their face. How he left without his face being concave I’ll never know.

we have (often newcomers, but also some dinosaurs) who come in and work early for upto ~90mins free

We have this phenomenon as well. When I started, everyone was in for 20 to the hour latest, half past at the earliest. If you were in the changing rooms before 20 past the hour you got a bollocking.

Now, people seem to be coming in as early as ten past the hour. Oh but they’ll be getting on with work you say! No they aren’t. You can’t, unless there is a specific job that needs someone (like a tanker delivery) and only then after you’ve had a setting to work. No, they are there, for free. They say it’s so they can get a cuppa before the meeting and get sorted but no, it takes 5 minutes to log on and synchronise the tablets and in that time you can check whatever progpoganda or uninteresting IT alerts have been issued since you were last in. That leaves you 10 minutes to make a cup of tea or coffee. Okay, on their head be it. But no, now I’M LATE because I come in at a sensible time and the prick waiting to go home has been sat for half an hour. Not my problem, you’re paid to the hour, suck it up.

It’s not you letting the client down.

I get your point but keeping clients is helpful for future pay packets.
(Not a massive company)

@n0b0dy0ftheg0at gotta few of them in our DO too. They just don’t seem to grasp what they are doing to the expected workloads which they then moan about and don’t get me started on the runners. Now I don’t hang about when on delivery but I take every minute of my break and claim every minute of overtimewhich I’d rather not be doing in the first place.

I work for an Anglo Swedish company. The Swedes always book meetings over Uk lunchtime if you did it to them there would be a riot.

I turned down a meeting just last week as it was during my lunchhour, sod that 🙂

It’s not so much what they do, as much as what they don’t do, tbh.

I work for an Anglo Swedish company. The Swedes always book meetings over Uk lunchtime if you did it to them there would be a riot.

It always amuses me when UK companies complain about the work culture in Nordic countries.

I hate to tell you, but they are more productive than you AND don’t die of work induced heart attacks at the age of 50.

Don’t try to get the Swedes to adopt your ridiculous work culture. Adopt theirs.

Been WFH since COVID, but the one that used to annoy me was people just dumping plates and cups in the sink. Was minging.

The funniest thing was a colleague unplugging someone’s desktop computer from the mains. Whilst holding the cable in his hands he was adamant that it wasn’t him 😂

It gets even better though, he did the same thing to the same person an hour later, whilst still claiming it wasn’t him.

Muppet.

People calling me a ‘co-worker’! Terrible term, we are colleagues!

I much prefer “cow-orker”

I used to work in a south London office where people thought nothing of microwaving fish curry…

And i currently sit next to a lady that cannot do silence, she has to talk… constantly.. and tell me lots of detail about her life, i really do not need to know, sex life, money problems, the full monty!

Ooooh! The reminds me of someone years ago who posted such things about his colleagues. He was sacked soon after but it worked very well in the long run.

I much prefer “cow-orker”

Usenet user? That’s when I first heard the term, back in… oh.. the stone age?

When you turn on the dust extractor, but fail to notice that the pipe is still connected to that other machine and not the saw that you’re currently using.

A cloud of mdf dust to rival Eyjafjallajökull volcano fills the workshop but you somehow fail to notice.

Only when I run over, waving my arms and covering my mouth do you go, ‘oh, sorry’….
🙄

It’s fine, I say, I’m quite partial to a bit of emphysema…

Other people in my office, there’s one thing that winds me up and that’s noises from the computers. WFH means most of em are out mowing the lawn or painting the spare room, so have reminder sounds on **** loud to attract their attention from skiving. They leave these on when they come into the office. Offers have been made to shove laptops up arses.

Massive chain emails where you CC the company cat about some petty detail that really doesn’t matter, just to enhance your own stature.

But then, I used to work in a factory where messing with workers cars (flipping wipers, burying in snow, covering in bogroll etc) was par for the course. Tried this in my new job and it backfired pretty spectacularly – cue a police report and company-wide emails to identify the culprit (me, obvs).

People who “reply to all” when they should just be replying to the sender. It’s always the same names that do it.

I get your point but keeping clients is helpful for future pay packets.
(Not a massive company)

So as long as you keep covering for other people’s ineptitude it’ll keep happening. If future pay packets are important to the not-massive company than everyone else needs to buck their ideas up.

Having Radio One or Kiss History on, quite loudly. Radio One today managed one song I recognised, among all the identikit autotuned garbage – Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Trouble is, I can’t wear earphones for safety reasons, as there are vehicles moving around the workshop all the time. 😖

Don’t try to get the Swedes to adopt your ridiculous work culture. Adopt theirs.

What? Based on lunch break?
Once I attended a training course in conducting a meeting using Monty Python meeting bloody meeting video. One Swedish lady made a formal complain later that the video was sexist and inappropriate. She completely missed the point … hello, this is the land of Monty Python.

Our current office fad is to look busy by making a simple task complicated.

The best way to get notice is by emailing everyone, obviously CC brown nosing the bosses, at any opportunity about a training programmes, new way of working, new technology, new way to increase productivity etc almost on daily basis. That bloke must be feeling proud of his achievement.

Then we have micro managers who like to write long documents and expect everyone to follow.

Then some of them started to believe their own hype of being a good leader …

Then I have a colleague who eat lunch at his office desk follow by dessert, reading newspaper, eating other junks …

I think one day I will microwave some Asian dry fermented salted fish or durian in the office. I can assure you the whole building will be emptied in minutes.

Monday morning football pundits. On and on and bloody on … blokes who haven’t kicked a ball themselves in many years.