I’ve just been confronted by MrsV and juniorV who tell me that I must close the toilet lid (not just put the seat down) as “germs will fly out of the toilet and it’s unhygienic”.

My initial response has been to call them Hyacinth Bucket…

Any support and suggestions of further comedic responses, or am I pure evil for not putting the lid down?

They must be running out of things to complain about me for as it hasn’t been an issue for the previous 20+ years…

Seat down, door shut.

Nope, put the lid down. What I don’t understand is why just put the seat down? What is the point in that?

Wait until they are asleep and then remove the lid and hide it. Deny all knowledge of this when confronted. Post updates on here.

Should be heated, electronic and have useful jets just like on Japan

What I don’t understand is why just put the seat down? What is the point in that?

Seat goes down when ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’…

I’m not suggesting putting the seat down after a wee

Certainly don’t tell them of any studies of bacteria present on toilet seats compared to bacteria on computer keyboards or mobile phones.

Certainly don’t tell them of any studies of bacteria present on toilet seats compared to bacteria on computer keyboards or mobile phones.

This.

Mattyfez for the win!

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/beauty/your-phone-might-be-ten-times-dirtier-than-a-toilet-20180718-p4zs5v.html

If you flush a toilet with the lid open it aerosolises the contents of the toilet and it travels a long way. Way further than most people keep their toothbrushes from the toilet, for instance.

As for the seat, South Park have everything you need to know in the epsiode called “Reverse Cowgirl”

I remember when I was young my mum found a bat floating in our outside loo. It was fine after she fished it out and it dried out. My dad’s comment was “son, that’s why you should always shut the lid after you’ve been to the loo”.

My dad’s comment was “son, that’s why you should always shut the lid after you’ve been to the loo”.

😁

Tell them that if they ever smell a fart, that’s because they’ve breathed in the fecal particles from the fartee.
They’ve literally inhaled someone else’s poo.

You’re welcome.

I seem to remember some research that said the aerosol effect was worse with the lid down as the air pressure forces the muck out of a smaller gap so it travels further.

Just take the lid off and throw it away

toilet

How frightfully non-U.

I seem to remember some research that said the aerosol effect was worse with the lid down as the air pressure forces the muck out of a smaller gap so it travels further.

Just take the lid off and throw it away

More back pressure for improved performance?

Sorry, I thought this was the Porche boxter exhaust pipe thread.

@cromolyolly – when I read ‘Reverse Cowgirl’ I thought….this thread is heading off in a different direction but no.

Dump them all and live on your own. Then you don’t have to worry about such.. er, shit.

Pump the house full of chlorine gas to kill the germs. That will negate the need to consider the juxtaposition of the toilet seat status. 😀

my mate thought that the smell from a fart was ‘particles of poo in your nose’.

Until I pointed out that it wasn’t.

It’s only an issue if you flush the loo then bend down to watch your work swirl down the pan whilst taking deep breaths with your mouth wide open. If you just flush the loo and walk off then no problemo.

I visited the trap at a motorway service station over the Christmas break and they had spangly new high tech loos that wouldn’t let you flush the until you closed the lid. It then automatically locked the lid whilst it flushed. Seems like the next paranoid craze. Best to ignore and carry on as you have been doing your whole life.

Seems like the next paranoid craze. Best to ignore and carry on as you have been doing your whole life.

Yeah damn right.
What has “progress” ever done for us, eh ?

😉

Yeah damn right.
What has “progress” ever done for us, eh ?

Deminished heard resistance by reduced exposure to the environment through excessive use of cleaning products?

An interesting but obviously unethical experiment would be to grow a human in a clinically clean environment, and then set them free to see how long it takes before thier immune system is overloaded and they die.

@frankconway

Yeah, the episode totally didn’t go where I expected to when I saw the title. Still a good one

My dad’s comment was “son, that’s why you should always shut the lid after you’ve been to the loo”.

a wise man. to your saved bat can i add a dead squirrel found it in the downsatairs loo in the house we were sharing near Holywell, If only someone had closed the lid after last use!
I do get told off at home ..wife and 3 daughters pick on me, I like to leave it up all the time now

Tell them that if they ever smell a fart, that’s because they’ve breathed in the fecal particles from the fartee.

Science says “no” (if you wear sturdy underpants).

https://qz.com/929920/do-you-contaminate-your-environment-with-harmful-bacteria-when-you-fart/

https://www.chemistryworld.com/news/explainer-the-chemistry-of-farts/2500168.article

Also:
https://www.lifehack.org/374231/farting-can-help-prevent-dementia-and-make-people-around-you-healthier-study-finds

When I go for a piss in the night I don’t flush so as to not disturb people. When MrsJ goes in the morning she flushes FIRST before she pees . AIBU??

Seat up or down, my 7 year old is going to piss everywhere anyway, so who cares about a few aerosolised poop particles when your feet are piss soaked?

@aphex – table tennis ball. Slack jr was trained from an early age to aim at the floating ball. No wet feet.

I visited the trap at a motorway service station over the Christmas break and they had spangly new high tech loos that wouldn’t let you flush the until you closed the lid. It then automatically locked the lid whilst it flushed. Seems like the next paranoid craze. Best to ignore and carry on as you have been doing your whole life.

Isn’t that something to do with the flushing mechanism. Some sort of vacuum thing?
Women want you to put the seat down because they want you to do everything for them.

An interesting but obviously unethical experiment would be to grow a human in a clinically clean environment, and then set them free to see how long it takes before thier immune system is overloaded and they die.

Indeed. Just look what happened to the Martians in The War of the Worlds 🙂

The solution is to get a home urinal like I installed in my downstairs bog, a traditional WC pan being completely unsuitable for men to use because of the splashback. Have a look at Laufen Casa Urinal with aiming fly.

The seats in our men’s toilet at work are raised a lot of the time and nobody complains about it, we just lower the seat and sit down.

Down, can’t believer a bunch of people obsessed with the tidiness of each others gardens can accept the aesthetics of a seat left raised.

What if you can’t shut the lid?

table tennis ball

Err, can’t believe I’m asking this but how does that work? Do you keep buying and flushing table tennis balls or does said 7 year old have to dig out the target every time?

I have nothing to add but I just liked this picture from hols2 links, reminds me of Magneto Dog 🙂

How frightfully non-U.

…

….bend Nancy, bend.

Lid up
Seat down
And leave it that way for all eternity
I have this awesome ability of being able to aim piss straight and not dribble on the seat though.

In other folks houses leave it how I found it
They might not have my ability.

There is no debate.