The Great British Bake Off

So I stumbled on this last night whilst blindly flicking through the channels.

I’m not a big TV watcher generally but as I flicked it on I was greeted by overtly mellow dramatic music, slow panning shots of countryside with a giant marque planted in it and slow fades between each shot. I was expecting the following scenes to reveal the aftermath of a brutal murder in a peaceful village or the discovery of an alien ship buried under the earth in the middle of a quant village green, but no. Instead the following scene revealed a 20 something PE teacher attempting to turn over a fruit and caramel tart without the filling falling out.

The music became more dramatic as a chubby bloke with a beard stumbled into shot with a mafia like ‘ Do I amuse you’ stance. I expected at this point for the murder to take place but no, instead he simply commented that ‘there was too much moisture in the bake and it really needed a bit longer in the oven’.

I then realised that this wasn’t a programme that was ever going to reveal some bloody and brutal murder with clever twists. No. this was a programme about baking cakes.

did you not think the title gave it away?

As I flicked over I wasn’t greeted with the title.

It’s great, isn’t it. I have it on Series Link.

the faces of evil

The better half regards it as food porn. Well… actual porn when Paul Hollywood is on screen.

I feel both threatened and belittled by his luxuriant, full head of hair, and culinary skill. When’s Nigella back on telly?

I feel both threatened and belittled by his luxuriant, full head of hair, and culinary skill. When’s Nigella back on telly?

Take solace in the fact that with the sheer volume of cane sugar and butter he puts away, he will almost certainly be dead before you.

Any squirrels this year?

For that nutty crunch?

Best TV programme in years. The final 3-5 contestants will be fully fledged baking ninjas turning out weapons grade cake. What’s not to like? I want Mary Berry to be my granny.

I find it strangely therapeutic viewing.

I feel both threatened and belittled by his luxuriant, full head of hair, and culinary skill. When’s Nigella back on telly?

I think she was banned after this episode…

It’s mad.

You’ve got these people turning out works of art making things they’ve never attempted before, seriously impressive looking stuff. Then a bloke from the front of a Just For Men box turns up with his mum, hits their creations with a hammer and then says “well, it’s got a bit too much lime in it.”

It’s like the X-Factor for cakes. The Cake Factor.

So I stumbled on this last night whilst blindly flicking through the channels.

I’m not a big TV watcher generally but as I flicked it on I was greeted by overtly mellow dramatic music, slow panning shots of countryside with a giant marque planted in it and slow fades between each shot. I was expecting the following scenes to reveal the aftermath of a brutal murder in a peaceful village or the discovery of an alien ship buried under the earth in the middle of a quant village green, but no. Instead the following scene revealed a 20 something PE teacher attempting to turn over a fruit and caramel tart without the filling falling out.

The music became more dramatic as a chubby bloke with a beard stumbled into shot with a mafia like ‘ Do I amuse you’ stance. I expected at this point for the murder to take place but no, instead he simply commented that ‘there was too much moisture in the bake and it really needed a bit longer in the oven’.

I then realised that this wasn’t a programme that was ever going to reveal some bloody and brutal murder with clever twists. No. this was a programme about baking cakes.

This.

Up there with Masterchef for ridiculous mock-suspense.

And don’t get me started on Nigella. Yes love, you cook nice stuff, however I don’t need to know that you stir the mixture with your tits.

overtly mellow dramatic music

Make your mind up!

Has it started again?
Why wasn’t I informed?

however I don’t need to know that you stir the mixture with your tits.

What else makes it worth watching?

Make your mind up!

Too late to edit it so just for you:

melodramatic.

Have you seen the kid’s version of GBBO (as it shall henceforce be known)?

Got some mad Essex tattooed bloke presenting it, quite weird.

It’s the flour that’ll kill him.

fervouredimage – Member
Too late to edit it so just for you:

Splendid.
As you were, flavouredminge.

It’s the flour that’ll kill him.

Knocked down by a tanker of the stuff?

You’re welcome Mr Gribble.

It’s all very tounge in cheek, it’s a show about baking, even the one who cried last night was then laughing at herself for crying over a treacle tart!

I have visions of thousands of dull-eyed, drool-jawed, vacant-minded viewers…

I have visions of thousands of dull-eyed, drool-jawed, vacant-minded viewers…

You couldn’t be more wrong. It got quite heated, and animated in our house when they were doing bagels t’other night. This is bloody important stuff!!!

It’s all very tounge in cheek

It’s really not, that’s the problem.

You’re welcome Mr Gribble.

Good spot 8)

The key is to read twitter whilst watching for that extra comedic experience. It’s ace!

hesback – Member
I have visions of thousands of dull-eyed, drool-jawed, vacant-minded viewers…

tHAt’ll be me then I thought it very good and gives good ideas for what IIII’ll bake. Rockfore (spelling?) and pear, nice.

Rockfore (spelling?)

Roquefort

You’ve got these people turning out works of art making things they’ve never attempted before

Apart from the technical Challenge, which they get a basic recipe for, they are informed before hand what they will be expected to make. they often say they’ve been practicing certain recipes for weeks.

It’s mad.

You’ve got these people turning out works of art making things they’ve never attempted before, seriously impressive looking stuff. Then a bloke from the front of a Just For Men box turns up with his mum, hits their creations with a hammer and then says “well, it’s got a bit too much lime in it.”

It’s like the X-Factor for cakes. The Cake Factor.

lol made my day

Best thing on telly.

Cakes. Phwoaarr!!!

Roquefort

*applauds*

Chapeau, sir, chapeau.

Any squirrels this year?

Lol.

It’s my favourite programme on the telly atm.
Our cupboard is now bulging with bakery ingredients, shortly to be in mr. bh’s bulging tummy.

I know there are one or two ‘complicating factors’, not least Mrs higgo sat next to me while we’re watching it, but I am fond of that there Sue Perkins.

(I know I am a sad old man but I have not yet developed my father’s ‘thing’ for lady newsreaders)

Glad you blinked first Higgs, I know what you mean.. though I can see the attractive features of a couple of lady news readers 😉

Anyway most of the food competition programs my wife watches hold no intrest for me but GBBO is quite good telly IMO

Last years runner up, Holly was her name I think made me have some very naughty thoughts!

Last years winner has a naughty husband!!

Our cupboard is now bulging with bakery ingredients, shortly to be in mr. bh’s bulging tummy

You’ve not knocked him up again have you? 😯

2 months to go binners 😉

I was more concerned about last years squirrel’s nuts, than last years naughty husband.