I like my bikes and want to keep hold of them, but keeping them in the house is no longer an option. Want to apacheproof my shed – what are my options?

Are you now surrounded by Apaches as well as Zulus?

Move out?

I'd do the moving out under cover of darkness if I were you. It sounds touch-and-go.

elfin – i'm pretty sure there are some sioux, and mongol hordes out there too.

Blimey.

Might be worth considering putting in a ground anchor and securing the bikes to that.

There will be armed bandits as well.

No windows, or mount mesh grid on the inside (could unscrew the outside and it's less obvious from a distance … so less obvious that you've got something valuable in there)

On of those padlock shackles that shield the padlock against hacksaw/cutters, and covers the screws.

set concrete base with ground anchor cemented in

IR security lighting

Camo paint job (compulsory) with green woodstain?

plant Bramble/Gooseberry/hawthorn all around it.

get a cowboy builder to help you….?

Cover the whole interior of the shed in expanded metal mesh like the banks do with interior walls. Ground anchor into a large block of concrete under the floor with bikes locked to it. Alarm linked back to the house for when you are in, large hungry dog (rotweiler or similar) or black mamba snake for when you aren't about and don't forget the warning sign to mitigate liability for damage to the horde.

hire sg1? or ask andy mcnab?

Check your door hinges make sure they can't be unscrewed from the outside. If they are normal wood screws (no matter how big) replace a least one on each hinge with a bolt right through, preferably a security type

I think the best suggestion I heard on here was to put a half starved tasmanian devil that you've dyed neon orange in there, that way if the beast doesn't do them, they'll think they've gone mad and never bother you again anyway.

>but keeping them in the house is no longer an option<

Counselling? 😉

weld each metal component seperately to a lamp post… that way any thief will have to cut through the part.. effectively rendering it useless…

weld each metal component seperately to a lamp post… that way any thief will have to cut through the part.. effectively rendering it useless…

I had a motorbike chained to a house, they cut through the bike frame and left the lock unharmed whilst stealing it, so that might only slow them down.

bury the shed !

bury the wife and move the bikes back into the house

Put the wife/sig other in the shed and keep the bikes in the house. If anyone goes near the shed they will only do it once for sure..

do the double bluff trick, leave the shed open and they will think there is nothing worth taking.

Spray paint 'i am an historian from Glasgow ' on the side they won't go anywhere near 😉