Last year we had some swallows nest under the stupid PVC Tudoresque gable, they shat everywhere and eventually left so I knocked it down and got covered in shit, feathers and dead chicks in the process. They are now starting to rebuild, the little futhered feackers.

I won’t stand for it this time as we are trying to sell out house, its making my blood boil etc. What can I put up to eff them off, apart from a hungry wildcat in a cage?

isn’t it illegal to disturb nesting birds?

wait until they’ve gone and remove/cover whatever ledge they’re using so they don’t come back next year.

some people might liek having swallows nesting in their roof (I would) so you could point it out to potential purchasers as a feature.

I believe it’s illegal to disturb nesting swallows (most birds in fact)

Have a look here – RSPB Website

They havent built it yet but it dosent take them long now theyve started.

They’ve traveled 6000 miles to nest here (and don’t they return to the same nest sites every year?) and you want to prevent them.

You, sir, are a first class ****.

wait until they’ve laid the eggs and then burn your house down.

that’ll teach them.

Julian, will you come round my house and clean up all the shit from the windows, drive and cars and convince potential buyers of out house that they are really nice and present to issues?

They didnt evolve to live in houses, thats why God made cliffs n’that.

They’ve traveled 6000 miles to nest here, and don’t they return to the same nest sites every year?) and you want to harm them.

You, sir, are a first class ****.

Here we go!
They make a terrible mess if they nest above the front or back of your house. By persuading them to nest elsewhere I suspect they dont fly 6000 miles back again! I also suspect they nest elsewhere nearby where they will remain undisturbed. The poster is not talking about disturbing nesting birds in situ I understand.

It wasn’t just god that made cliffs ‘n’ that. The people that built your house did too. 😀

They nested in my neighbours gable end last year. They ‘started’ to nest in my gable end last year as well. 10mins with my hosepipe on full blast one night and they havent been back. Brought the nest down and thankfully there wasnt anything else in there

Before anyone has a go i dont give a hoot about them as long as they arent nesting in/on my house

“i dont give a hoot about them”

clearly.

Swallows on the ‘amber list’ of conservation concern, currently, btw.amber list

I had them at the back of my house. I waited till they had left then destroyed the remains of the nest. They tried to nest a couple of years later so I gently disuaded their attempts.
They gave up after a couple of days.

I have birds nesting every year in my roof – I like it. Nice chirping in the morning. Don’t really make a mess.

Drives my cats mental though cos they can’t reach them

You’ve paid thousands of pounds on a property that was made from materials nobody technically had a right to own, on land that once was free till some day someone took it as their own and profited from it, the resources it makes use of like water, gas, electricity….come from the planet, who ever had the right to draw on this to make their lives better….thousands of years ago these birds would of nested on inland cliff edges and out crops…ones that where destroyed to build our homes, the sand used was a home to and the water……….

Nature has a right, a right to it’s land, if it builds on ‘your’ property then is just exploiting it’s environment like man has for years….let iy build, enjoy the wonders of nature, watch the industry of these little mud homes being made and appreciate they like us are just trying to do what we are….surviving and guaranteeing the future of there families.

Oh and it’s illegal……..how about the council came and knocked down your house cuz because they thought it made the place look shitty.

Made you homeless and ruined your chances of have sex that year…….

Sharki (lover of all things natural)

Sharki
Think I may have a rat under my shed at the bottom of the garden. Shall I catch it humanely and send it round to yours?

I know in Cornwall they put ornamental owls on gable ends etc etc to dissuade Sea Gulls from nesting on houses – may work with Swallows.

LOL what a hornet’s nest this has disturbed!

No, not a rear hornet’s nest, just a metaphorical one.

I, too, have nesting birds (starlings) – normally they don’t bother me and I don’t mind the noise in a morning, but every so often I hear a god almighty racket as if they are fighting or one has become stuck or something – that really disturbs me and I usually spend the next few hours plotting vengeance.

We also get bats flying around at dusk – often spend my evening staring out of the window rather than watching whatever it is on the telly. 🙂

Think I may have a rat under my shed at the bottom of the garden

Oh. You’ll have more than one mate. They love us humans. 😀

Leave the bloody birds alone.

Nice one Jimster I shall put the shotgun back in the case…

Crickey, after two years of getting progressively more and more wound up by some of the folk on this site I binned my user ID and stopped looking at the forum. 18 months later and news reaches me that the STW forum has largely lost the eejits, however I appear to have been grievously misinformed. Sharki is right. Scruff, the economic climate is what is slowing the sale of your house, not some guano. Live and let live for crying out loud, life is too short.

Surfer, by all means do…

However if you’ve got one you’ve most likely got a whole family of them….and they’re there because there must be a good source of food available for them……

They reckon that you are never more than 1m away from someone who will tell you that you are never more than 1m away from a rat.

Surfer, by all means do…

However if you’ve got one you’ve most likely got a whole family of them….and they’re there because there must be a good source of food available for them…

Cool!
I assume you will be keeping them indoors? after all it is closer to a food source and they do have as much right to be there as you 😆

Live & let live i say. I accept your right to let the birds tweet and crap all over your houses and you should accept my right to jet wash their nest away at any time i like. I will even let you watch i am so easy going 😉

Given my present situation, a rat would not do well to be in my home for it would starve….i would soon give up and wander down the local canal in search of food….in fact i might do that myself.

Just kidding Sharki, I’ll send round a sandwich instead!

Rat issue resolved anyway!!!

I was looking forward to some rat o van.

which reminds me..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1oxtxB_mT0&feature=PlayList&p=3F34A5517DC199FF&index=0

Blackadder: [suspicious] What’s on the menu?

Baldrick: Rat. [shows him a big black rat] Saute or fricassee.

Blackadder: [peers at the rat] Oh, the agony of choice. Saute
involves…?

Baldrick: Well, you take the freshly shaved rat, and you marinade it
in a puddle for a while.

Blackadder: Hmm, for how long?

Baldrick: Until it’s drowned. Then you stretch it out under a hot
light bulb, then you get within dashing distance of the
latrine, and then you scoff it right down.

Blackadder: So that’s sauteing, and fricasseeing?

Baldrick: Exactly the same, just a slightly bigger rat.

Blackadder: Well, call me Old Mr. Un-adventurous but I think I’ll give
it a miss this once.

Hose pipe when they first start building nest is best bet.

considering its illegal to disturb them even when they are building a nest as they are endangered, why not get one of these:

http://shopping.rspb.org.uk/p/Nestboxes/R401766.htm

any put it somewhere near your house so they can use that instead, without disturbing your tiny narrow minded selfish world.

That way you won’t get prosecuted (which if I was your neighbor and saw you knocking down their nest I would grass you up) and you won’t be contributing to them becoming extinct.

FYI.

“It is an offence under section 1 of the Act to kill, injure or take any wild bird; take, damage or destroy the nest of any wild bird while that nest is in use or being built, and take or destroy an egg of any wild bird.”

Can you not rig up something under the nest to catch the crap, and then clear that up each season?

But then, I rather like birds, and the loss of so many swallows over what I remember from when I was small is one of the things that makes me saddest. 🙁

I might get some of those nestboxes and see if I can persuade some to nest under my eaves next year. I doubt I’ll succeed, there just aren’t many about any more…

Birds nesting eh?

Back when that was a real threat for me – I seldom told them where I lived 😉

Bird Nappy? (seriously!)

Pretty disgusting to be against the mini guys as you are. It’s no wonder “our” world is screwed.

Dont think people are against them, I’m certainly not.
Just would prefer if they didn’t live just above my front/back door etc.

oh and I’m not sure this discussion is a fair barometer of the the worlds various ills!

(which if I was your neighbor and saw you knocking down their nest I would grass you up)

If I was his neighbour I’d go and shit up his wall myself !

In any case, you might find a lot of people would actually *welcome* some nesting birds under the eves.

And they ain’t gonna be there for ages, for crying out loud – let ’em get on with it then clear it off when they’ve gone. Big deal, you’ve got some shit to clear up – want some of our foxes and squirrels ? They crap/dig everywhere but they’re doing what animals do.

Dickhead.

often spend my evening staring out of the window

Lol, I’ve seen your likes round my neighbourhood.

Change your aftershave.

What jond said. The world’s f***ed enough without people like scruff helping in their own little selfish way.
Swallows are on the decline. Fact. Try to help, not hinder.

And they ain’t gonna be there for ages, for crying out loud – let ’em get on with it then clear it off when they’ve gone. Big deal, you’ve got some shit to clear up – want some of our foxes and squirrels ? They crap/dig everywhere but they’re doing what animals do.

Swallows can return to the same nest for decades! Hardly the “bushman” you claim are you?

Lol, I’ve seen your likes round my neighbourhood.

Well the view I have from the window is of fields so unfortunately nothing like that for me.

Not like my last house, when I had a beautiful (and single) woman living opposite. 😉 Still often ask myself why I moved…