For various reasons I haven’t been able to get out on the bike this week. Working from home means that I get to sneak more rides in generally but this week has been busy.
So, an early ride beckoned this morning before the family responsibilities and Christmas prep kicked in.
It was a cold, dark, wet morning but a clean winter bike and the right clothing made me really excited. And the ride didn’t disappoint (time on the bike rarely does). The roads were free of traffic and the fair weather lockdown cyclists were a distant memory. The world was at peace and I enjoyed the ride more than I have for a long time.
So, picture this. Riding on a long straight country road. Particularly cold, dark and wet. Dressed appropriately in terms of visibility and lights. Not a soul in sight. But the. Coming towards me I see another cyclist. We see each other approaching for quite some time. Given the time and conditions, he is also a dedicated cyclist too. We get closer and closer. Then within close range and earshot I raise a hand and say a chipper ‘morning’.
NOTHING! NOT EVEN AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT I EVEN EXIST!
We are two kindreds spirits meeting on an isolated road both sharing a passion for cycling. Yet this ciserable munt won’t even show the slightest courtesy. Now, whilst he has been the target of my rant, he wasn’t alone this morning.
WTAF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!
Roadie?
You okay hun ???
Rubber - Goes without saying of course! But then so was I at that particular moment.
Maybe the fact that I have a gravel bike and a hardtail hanging in the garage back home made me more predisposed to offer a basic human greeting, but I think it goes beyond that. This is about how miserable we have become and I swear the f’ing pandemic has given people even more of an excuse to be more selfish and antisocial.
Geezer - if there’s a hug on offer in that response, I’ll take it.
Bet he was one of those bloody gravel parvenus.
Skinwalls too I reckon.
Makes my boils bleed blood boil!
..or someone finally manages to get a bit of time to themselves, goes out for a ride, sees someone coming the other way so keeps their head down and avoids eye contact so they can stay in their splendid isolation, only to be confronted by another cyclist trying to engage them in conversation.
Was it dark still and do you have full on lights?
I've noticed that many cyclist with 'proper' lights (prob me included) are nothing but a fireball coming in the other direction. As they pass I could not tell if they are male or female, what they are wearing or if waving or not.
Re the hello - lost in the rainy background noise with something over your ears because of the cold?
Nick - was it you? all I said was hello. Wasn’t trying to engage him in deep conversation.
Convert - no blinding. Just gentle ‘get yourself seen’ pretty twinkly lights.
Roadies are weird. I passed a guy once coming the other way. I was riding a fatbike on the pavement, I popped a wheelie and shouted a cheery “Hiya!”
Not a flicker.
I wish I’d been wearing jeans to make his revulsion complete.
Common misconception; roadies always acknowledge other roadies, but the puppyish over-enthusiasm of the mamil is never returned in kind. Such a gesture would upset that Swiss watch-like cadence so next time keep an eye out for the lifting of an index finger on the bar, almost imperceptible nod, or the subtle raising of an eyebrow behind the Oakleys.
I would not have even acknowledged you either. I don't know you and you are just another road user and I don't wave at all the cars I see. Big deal, you are riding a bike and so am I.
I exchange greetings with roadies on a regular basis. Granted it may be just a Yorkshire raised finger salute rather than a conversation.
Kelley - That told me. Please forgive my friendliness. Won’t do it again.
You can do whatever you want, just don't expect everyone to say anything back as not everyone is you or thinks like you.
Headphones on? Maybe didn’t hear your greeting?
I drove past somebody who was driving a Saab 93-X. I pipped and waved and he gave me the finger. It really made me laugh.
I smile and say hi to dog walkers and other cyclists. For me its about the giving, they don't have to respond, just makes me feel happier when they do.
That's good and I don't feel happier doing it so I don't. Doesn't mean I am rude, I just don't think the same way as you.
Can't help but think this thread would've been funnier had nobody responded to Solar.
edit- wordnumb, yes agreed.
Ok I am assuming you want advice and opinions on this, otherwise you wouldn't post it here.
TLDR:
Offence is chosen, you have chosen to be offended. End of story.
Detail:
You need to harden up, that bloke basically owns you now, he got right under your skin, and you chose to take a dose of negativity from it.
I would hazard a guess that the main reason is that you need to learn to effectivly manage your own expectations of other people. You are perpetuating the negativity by coming here and saying it?
Before you pass judgement on a fellow rider, think of the multitude of reasons as to why he might have not waved, his son/wife/dad/dog just died of cv19/terrorism/electric chair/cancer. He is concetrating on getting his head down and may not have even noticed you.
Choose to see that the other person had zero intention to offend or upset you, in fact it may be the opposite, and you really have no way of knowing, which means you have chosen to interpret this as negativity.
Just let it go, you will be a lot happier.
You have thought about this on a far deeper level than I would have ever taken it to.
But ultimately ‘you weren’t there man’. I appreciate he wasn’t deliberately trying to piss me off. He was just rude in as much as the natural animal instinct of 2 humans meeting in the middle of nowhere would (I think at least) be to acknowledge each other.
Before you pass judgement on a fellow rider, think of the multitude of reasons as to why he might have not wave
Careful not to be hoisted by your own petard there. 2020 has seen me lose my father to cancer with 5 days notice, my grandmother to Alzheimer’s and whilst I haven’t lost a relative to the electric chair (slightly unlikely outcome I must admit) none of it changes my positive outlook on the world and my fellow humans.
My ride this morning and the fact that I have been unable to ride during the week was actually a release as a result of having to deal with the emotional and bureaucratic aftermath of both events and the impact it has had on my mother.
Just saying.....
I am sorry for your loss and admire your choices to be positive.
none of it changes my positive outlook on the world and my fellow humans. Just saying…..
Be the change people, be the change.
EDIT:
Look, given your circumstances, take the positives out of your riding and cling on to them. You were having a lovely ride, some small non-thing shouldn't be the thing you take away from it.
Doesn’t mean I am rude
....but possibly on the spectrum?
Saying hello to anyone and everyone on a crowded city street would be pretty odd (and exhausting) but coming across a stranger in the middle of nowhere who acknowledges your existence and not even responding in some minor form would be considered by the vast vast majority of the population as weird/tossery. Like not saying a quick thank you when someone keeps a door open for you or not not waving/blipping lights to another driver who has pulled into a passing place on a singletrack road for you to pass. The only people generally guilty of this are teenagers, self absorbed big city dwellers still operating in 'city mode' and as I say those on the spectrum (I hasten to add not all in the above categories would behave like that, those are just the categories with members that tend to behave like that).
We are two kindreds spirits.
Clearly you are not, you are a needy attention whore who can't even have a simple bike ride without desperately seeking validation from others, while his actions seem to indicate he isn't or was just lost in thought. And it's not the incident that confirms your character, but the fact that you needed to create a thread on such a cliched meme.
none of it changes my positive outlook on the world and my fellow humans. Just saying…..
Well that statement clearly contradicts the theme of your original post.
Hatchet faced, joyless roadie who's sold his//her (insert gender) soul to Strava. Gravel riders are definitely worse though IME ;o)
Don't worry it's just another skirmish in the "be nice, say hi" wars
Don't let them win, don't join their side, stick with it, victory can be ours!!
I now feel foolish and naive.
I have learned my lesson and will retreat into a less needy more self centred mindset.
After years of thinking that being polite was something to aspire to I have had my eyes opened and my mind narrowed. Little did I know that it was in fact me being rude all this time by not giving due consideration to whether the other person might be dealing with the state execution of a loved one.
Just what I needed. Thanks all! Happy Christmas!
solarider - you'll get a cheery hello from me, and most folk I know.
Just what I needed. Thanks all! Happy Christmas!
After years of thinking that being polite was something to aspire to I have had my eyes opened and my mind narrowed.
This Above ^^^ completely condradicts this below
I now feel foolish and naive.
I have learned my lesson and will retreat into a less needy more self centred mindset.
You are still just choosing to be offended and negative.
This thread was somewhat lighthearted and tongue in cheek but has taken quite an unexpected turn. It is just one step away from a trip into Brexit territory.
I do seem to be in the minority (on the hand waving, not in voting to remain - oops there I go!).
Surprised but it won’t be the first or last surprise of the year I am sure!
I am a roadie and always say hi to anyone and nearly always get a positive response.
The odd time I don’t I don’t I just assume they’re foreign and don’t speak English. Brexit can’t come soon enough - that’ll learn ‘em
(The second paragraph is a joke btw - I assume they are either a) right on the rivet or b) are just generally not in the mood for it)
I do seem to be in the minority .
You are not. Far from it. 35 years of riding bikes and 48 years of being a human has taught me you are in very good company. It's just online forums collect a certain 'type'. Oh, and I suspect many responses are pretty light hearted too.
Carry on as you were, the world is better for it. The grumps can jump in the sea (or swill around an online forum self-affirming they are normal).
I do seem to be in the minority
No you are among thousands of others in repeating the most played out "joke" on cycling forums. But never mind you have received some attention now, so clouds and silver linings.
But never mind you have received some attention now
Another valuable life lesson delivered well and taken onboard. I had no idea that the concept of engaging in a brief acknowledgement of fellow man whilst on a ride and engaging in conversation on a bike related chat forum was actually such a narcissistic and selfish act.
This thread has challenged my values and changed me fundamentally as a human being.
I shall be sure to pop back anytime I need an emotional lift from the faceless trolls of STW. Perhaps seeking the solace of close friends and family concerning the really big issues has been another lifelong habit that needs reforming when there is such a steady stream of advice here.
It was the same on my road ride first thing this morning. A few greetings from other riders but one guy totally blanked me.
I tend to give a full on wave along with a cheery good morning so this guy probably thought I was a twunt. He's quite likely correct. 😁
Eddiebaby
What exactly are "Skinwall Tyres?"
the fair weather lockdown cyclists were a distant memory
TBH after that sneery little dig I'm taking the OP's profession of open-hearted friendliness and goodwill to all men with a pinch of salt.
I shall be sure to pop back anytime I need an emotional lift from the faceless trolls of STW.
Rather hypocritical seeing you started this thread just to slag someone off. Maybe next time you are so offended by a lack of acknowledgment of your special existence, you should chase them down and explain to them how rude they are to not acknowledge you, instead of posting on a "faceless" forum.
I have started to write all of this solid gold advice down in my journal of life lessons. I don’t want to miss a single nugget of goodness.
Some people say hi and wave, some don’t. Some are rude some are shy and some had the last three riders they encountered blank them and can’t be bothered. I wouldn’t worry about it, stay cheery. I don’t think its a new thing either, twenty years ago I’d have been reading similar on a motorcycle forum about other riders not nodding and it probably still comes up today
I honestly can't remember the last time a mountain biker didn't say hello back on the trails, but does that mean we're better than roadies.......... Yep. 🙂
OP
You are totally in the right.
This forum has been infiltrated by roadies so much to the extent that a post about MTB generally gets few responses, whereas a post titled “what bidon for my gravel bib tights velodrome Ineos” will be inundated.
Next time pull a boss wheelie or do a big skid, that’ll learn em
