I’m disillusioned with living in the south east. While south London is good in some aspects that I don’t really exploit, I feel that we’re basically existing as a family rather than enjoying life and building for a future.
Both the wife and I work. She could quite easily relocate within the business, which leaves me to find work.
We’re drawn to Scotland. Last year I was offered an interview in Inverness that I turned down (which I now regret). I seem to be constantly looking at jobs in Scotland (predominantly the Scottish Borders) and think that we’d be happy there with a nicer way of life. We’d also be able to afford a house and finally get on the property ladder.
The only thing that puts us off is the effect it may have on the kids (15 & 8). I’m not sure the upheaval would be fair on them. I think I’m also scared of the unknown. My wife is willing to give it a go but it’s really difficult knowing whether to really throw some effort into moving or not…

15 isn’t a good time to be moving a kid – especially if it means moving between education systems.

I’ve relocated the other way, from Scotland (Edinburgh) to London (although I’ve kept my Scottish house so haven’t really gone all in!), but waited until my kids completed their schooling first before making the move. For me there are certainly thinks I prefer about Scotland (not least that my 5-bedroom house in Edinburgh is worth about the same as I paid for a 2-bed flat in London) but also things I prefer about London and the SE.

We relocated to Aberdeen from Surrey about a year and a half ago, and love it here. No real regrets at all!

We relocated to Aberdeen from Surrey about a year and a half ago, and love it here. No real regrets at all!

Really!? I’m in Aberdeen at the moment and with the current oil price and recent flooding it’s not the most fun place to be. I don’t generally mind the place but am happy to escape to London or Edinburgh at the weekends!

I left Glasgow after 13 years there and moved just south of Inverness, our kids are 2 & 4 and we wanted to move before they started school.
Been here 2 years now and love it, I’d never move back!

I moved from Fife to Sunderland about 3 years ago, was made an offer with work that I couldn’t have turned down. I don’t have property or family to worry about, however. But I do miss Scotland a lot and think I will end up moving back at some point.

But agree about the school for kids, they may not thank you for it. But then it might be the best thing you and they could ever do?!

Not as big a move as you but we moved from Edinburgh to Aviemore when my daughter was 16. We’d originally planned to wait until she’d finished High School but she wanted to be part of the move and was much happier up here. My one regret is not doing it sooner.

That was the age my parents moved my sister and me. From the south east to the sticks. Neither of us fulfilled our potential as a result. You absolutely risk screwing them up.

I seem to be constantly looking at jobs in Scotland (predominantly the Scottish Borders)

Must be always the same job, there isn’t much here really… What do you do?

We moved from the South East to the Borders just over 3 years ago (take over my folks place). It’s a great place to live, nice folk and brilliant riding.

Property is cheap (compared to the SE), but not particularly cheap in relation to wages.

The key thing is work, get that sorted and it’s mighty fine – pretty much like anywhere.

Moved from Sheffield to Warwick last month. 🙁

Scotland is lovely, although SNP would be reason enough for me not to move there

my ex moved from the south Midlands to Newcastle with our two kids and they flourished at their new school. I think it depends entirely on the kids in question and the school. It’s never cut and dried.

Our grand scheme is to do similar, but west to Wales. We love hills and beaches. Reading has neither. Hope to get it done before our eldest hits high school.

My best mate moved up to the Borders a few years back from London. His wife is Scottish so they had family up there, and also inherited a house.
Another friend went up as a schoolkid with his parents and was pretty badly bullied at first for being English.

We did it when the kids were 4, London to Yorkshire, pushed to do it then as we didn’t want the scenario of moving them when they had put down roots.

I moved at 8 and 16 and it was crap to keep moving away from mates

Another friend went up as a schoolkid with his parents and was pretty badly bullied at first for being English.

I moved to an area just outside of Glasgow.

We have no kids, so I didn’t have any problems.

However, English guys I worked with, who had kids, had quite a lot of issues with bullying at school.

15 isn’t a good time to be moving a kid – especially if it means moving between education systems.

+1

There are big differences in secondary schools now between England and Scotland, and entering into S3 or S4 would mean that there would be a complex working out of what N4 or N5 courses to play catch up on, or start, or even what Highers to start. Ok when in, but it might limit options or need some support at first.

We moved Sheffield to Killin 8 years ago. Love it. Wouldn’t go back South, we have moved to civilisation though…not end of the world Killin.

Our grand scheme is to do similar, but west to Wales. We love hills and beaches. Reading has neither. Hope to get it done before our eldest hits high school.

Not exactly overrun with jobs, though plenty of reasonably sized houses (with postage stamp gardens – gardening not popular).

My parents live there – mother retired and loves the “creative” scene around Cardigan. Father not yet retired, so away working in London all week but comes back at the weekends for yo de-stress on the beaches.

ETA: not sure I’d relocate a child at 15. Poss once they’ve left school in three years and are off to university/working – their choice where to be then.

Don’t underestimate the change in income you’d experience outside the economic bubble of London and its surrounds.

What’s up with Warwick? I’m looking at a potential move there from. Southampton …

OP, I would strongly consider it. Don’t be afraid, but do somehow incorporate the kids into the process so that they feel that they’re a part of it too.

Perhaps tell them what you said on here about not feeling as if you are really living, and give them a chance to talk about what ‘living’ means to them.

Then, when you do pack up and head North, it will not be as if mum and dad made them leave their friends; it will be that all of you decided to get a life.

If you get that right, the practicalities will take care of themselves.

Yes, but not to Scotland, and I’d wait three years. By then the eldest will have finished A-levels and the youngest will be changing schools anyway.

Swapped Enfield for Stroud when our lad was 5, we like the change, should have gone earlier. Still hanker after somewhere more northern, like the Lakes though. I wouldn’t wanna move him at 15 unless he was on board with it as well.

We did Bristol -> Hong Kong 12 months ago.

No kids, but it has been a bit tough on MrsDummy, who has struggled so far to find work. It doesn’t matter financially in the least, but she cares, so it’s a problem. It’s definitely worth having a realistic understanding of how it’s going to be, and to have some kind of a plan if it doesn’t turn out how you hoped I think.

🙂

I keep thinking of Canadia as a move, somewhere with forests. I just need to find a job first I guess, but as I have no kids and am likely to have no wife soon either, that should not be too much of a choice.

Relocated twice, prekids. No regrets. (Peterborough to Sussex, then Sussex to Derby).

Once you are away from the south east, you will struggle to afford to go back there.

But would not do it with kids that age. Too disruptive on them, unless they would REALLY buy in and benefit from it.

Relocated several times and happy to do it. I think you may have missed your window with the kids though, especially for a big change like moving to Scotland.

We are moving from the city to the mountains , and are doing it now primarily before our 3 year old puts down any roots . I’ve got tot say 15 sounds like a hard time to move , but then that’s down to the individual I think . Whatever you decide good luck!

Yes, I’ve relocated several times. As a scientist, it’s not really a option. If you are good enough to get a job, you relocate to wherever it is. In my case it involved a couple of moves in the UK and then emigrating. No kids makes things easier, but if we’d had them, they would have had to come too, irrespective of school stage etc. Plenty of people (have to) move with kids at all ages, I wouldn’t lose too much sleep over it.

Really!? I’m in Aberdeen at the moment and with the current oil price and recent flooding it’s not the most fun place to be. I don’t generally mind the place but am happy to escape to London or Edinburgh at the weekends!

Fortunately not in the oil & gas game. Well, the OH was, but she’s happily employed otherwise now. Live 17 miles west of the city, decent MTB stuff on the doorstep (not that I’m any good yet, but getting there slowly), great access for other stuff we like doing like kayaking.

Yeah, dark times for some people with the recent flooding, but this place suits us really well. Horses for courses!

(Many years ago)I got relocated a lot as a child(5 different schools), I don’t remember it bothering me when I was younger, as I got older I found it more destructive (not helped by quite severe bullying being rife at the two schools I got moved to in my teens) – but also you loose all your friends and social life at a pretty complex time in your life. So from my experience (which may or may not be representative) you might want to get the 15 year old on board and make real efforts to help them integrate and I suspect the 8 year old will find it a lot easier

Have a good look at weather where you’re planning to move to. I love living in t’pennines in summer but autumn/winter here is really not good.

we moved to Aus’ because had opportunity with kids 10 and 12 – 12 year old said something like – “it’ll be like starting secondary again, I just did that” but got on with it but wasn’t easy her classmates all had friends but she found someone else that had a common interest and was having a tough time making friends, easier for the younger one

had a couple of friends one who moved from UK and some from NZ both with older teenage daughters and one became clinically depressed and the other ended going back to NZ to live with relatives as struggled to make friends

its not an easy age to move kids at

I am relocating next year, I live in the South East and am fed up of it. New housing estates popping up everywhere, traffic always a nightmare ( I live near M2 and M20). I am paying for living near London, and I do not want to go there!

Herefordshire is the aim!

Thanks for all the replies on this.

Sat down with the kids last night and had a pretty honest chat about life and the expense of living in the south east. While both of them would love to live in a different area (nice house, wilderness etc), the reality of leaving friends, school is clearly something they don’t want to do. The youngest actually got quite upset with the prospect.

We’ve decided to revisit the idea when the youngest is ready for secondary school.

Sounds like a good plan. My wife was moved at 15 and had counselling as a result. They then moved when her younger sister was about 14/15 and she got a car bought for her (!) to make it bearable. Neither has many solid friends as a result.

Anyone that has the opportunity to live in Scotland and doesn’t is a fool, myself included. I’m English and left Scotland 5 years ago to support my wife’s career plans and do regret it- we’re up regularly but will move back before we have a kid of school age. People are nicer, the riding is better, the mountains bigger, the cities smaller and apart from Fife, where I lived, and a few other bits, it’s mostly great.

We live in rural Derbyshire, not the South East, and still find England and the English and many of the laws that apply down here tiresome.

I have kind of relocated as I spend most of my time now in Vienna. Great weather, not far from skiing and mountain biking. Austrian healthcare is amazing. Public transport system is cheap and really work very well. My quality of life is much improved.
Very shortly, I will be moving here permanently and renting my house out in Wales.

GO! If you feel dillusioned where you are and both want to move then whats stopping you? The kids will be fine. We are looking at doing the same but both have the same job, so very difficult to do as we need both incomes and cant afford for one of us to be without work and looking . . Until last week when 2 postions came up in Dumfries! Job applications went in pretty quick . . .

I wonder if being a forces brat (as an adult) makes this easier? As a child we moved every 2 years or so as dad was RAF, the difference I guess was that in the schools we (me and brother) attended they were 1) pretty used to integrating new kids suddenly, 2) as kids we got used to it 3) our mates, and schools friends were well used to it.

Kids move school all the time, primary, junior, secondary. Mine had moved school 3 times before going North, they’re both still in contact with their friends from down south, but both wouldn’t move back now. It may seem daunting at first, but with the right support, kids will cope

I would let the eldest finish their GCSEs, as where you move to, they may have different exam boards, different option choices etc, as they have have completed half a GCSE with one exam board or syllabus, then have to pick up an entirely new one and has missed half a unit.

When ever I have had someone join a GCSE class from mid way through the year, more often than not, they will not do as well as they should have done.