Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 162 total)
  • My daughter has coated cat with Sudocrem – what to do?
  • chakaping
    Free Member

    Vet is giving you duff advice, just apply a liberal coating of Veet over and amongst the Sudocrem.

    🙂

    crikey
    Free Member

    Yes, that trick works on every cat, every time… 🙄

    I’d get a roll of Elastoplast too, although the Sudocrem will help when it gets in your cuts..

    spawnofyorkshire
    Full Member

    young spawn of Satan cousin + chewing gum + cat = nicely trimmed pussy

    soobalias
    Free Member

    pics is great, but DO sort out a video cam for the bath/wash/rinse
    YBF will give you £250 or you get to be a youtube sensation.

    sudocream doesnt really wash off tho does it.

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    We’ve just come back form the Pub and I’ve logged on.

    We’re in hysterics.

    True Office howler.

    If it was me I would have got some superglue and glued its paws to the bath/shower and turned it on to hot then got the loafer out from the airing cupboard and liberally covered the cat in shampoo, then soaked the bloody thing. Then waited as it chewed its own paws off to break free.

    I too vote for pictures.

    Markie
    Free Member

    Things are so far going less well than I’d hoped.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    got the loafer out from the airing cupboard

    are you sure a casual shoe is the best tool for the job?

    BlindMelon
    Free Member

    Things are so far going less well than I’d hoped

    Oh dear what has happened?

    spawnofyorkshire
    Full Member

    Things are so far going less well than I’d hoped.

    Please do tell

    robinlaidlaw
    Free Member

    When we’ve washed our cats we’ve just filled the bath up a bit with soapy water, got the cat in the bathroom, door closed and let the cat wander around all unsuspecting for a then scoop it up and drop it it the bath. Then stand clear, don’t try to wash it by hand. Cats swim fine, so it won’t come to any real harm and it will froth the water up a treat as it tries to climb out. If it makes it out, do it again and repeat until it’s looking a bit cleaner, then a final shot with fresh water for a rinse or get the shower head on it. The bathroom will get wet everywhere, and the cat won’t enjoy it, but both of those things are going to happen regardless and you’ll get a lot less badly injured.

    patriotpro
    Free Member

    Pics or it’s not true!

    Oh and

    glupton1976 – Member
    High five your daughter.

    Joe
    Full Member

    My cat regularly takes a bath with me. I shit you not. Honestly..the car paddles about between my balls.

    Everyone thinks its wonderful, and embarrassingly everyone always wants to watch me take a bath.

    scruff
    Free Member

    Sudocreme is designed to not wash off smooth skin (never mind out of fur) and to be a stronger adherent than baby poo, you really have got your work cut out here. I’d employ a cat barberist and pay them what ever they wanted. Nails clipped may be first step.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    everyone always wants to watch me take a bath

    I can just see you at parties;

    “Come and watch the cat treading on my balls whilst I have a bath, go on you know you want to!”

    😉

    mboy
    Free Member

    Can’t stop chuckling! Feeling sorry for the kitty, but just the mental images of this have had me in stitches!

    Anyway… My dad once sprayed one of our old cats with fly spray, instead of flea spray. Poor cat was not pleased as it was a pretty nasty irritant! And the cat was a big strong sod of a ginger Tom too… Anyway, my mum scooped him up, put him in a few inches of water in the bath and shampooed him. He didn’t flinch once apparently, seemingly realising though far less than ideal that my mum was indeed helping him out on a big scale. He even had a grin on his face as she wrapped him in a towel and dried him off!

    My sister had a very long haired cat years ago. At 6 months old, and still very small, she knocked a glass bottle of olive oil onto a stone floor, and them proceeded to wade through it and cover herself in it. You have never seen a more pathetic looking sight in your life!!! Cue another bath, and another shampoo…

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    Honestly..the car paddles about between my balls

    tiny cat or really, really baggy scrotum ?

    KonaTC
    Full Member

    Quote of the week

    Sudocreme… …a stronger adherent than baby poo

    Funiest thread in ages

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    tiny cat or really, really baggy scrotum ?

    Am so glad my phone’s on mute on this call….! 🙂

    trail_rat
    Free Member

    you need a rain type shower in a cubical

    cat in , door fully shut , shower on

    when it gets out cat will kill you 🙂

    Taff
    Free Member

    Can you not use Sudocream as an alternative to chamois cream? Just take it to a bike race this weekend. I’m sure the bikers will be grateful for having a rub against a creamy pus…

    Markie
    Free Member

    No time to document proceedings so far, except to say that the Fairy liquid did nothing good, that however upset a cat is you can still make it more frantic by waving a flag in its face, and that I’m now trying to get us off to the vets so the cat can be clippered.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    I did say to just go to the vets.

    *feels vindicated*

    pics later please.

    Jamie
    Free Member

    My speed scrolling through the thread reveals no photos.

    So…

    *cough* bullshit *cough*

    mrjmt
    Free Member

    you can still make it more frantic by waving a flag in its face

    WTF? what are you doing to the damn thing?

    surroundedbyhills
    Free Member

    and hey presto! here’s one I made earlier..

    good luck! our cat bites and scratches when she’s had enough fuss.

    as to the guy who lets his cat paddle about near his balls WTF! 😯

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    my favourute soon to be soggier cat image off google’

    crikey
    Free Member

    See, I’ve got 3 cats and neither of those pictures would occur without me looking like I’d been through a combine harvester on full thresh.

    Papa_Lazarou
    Free Member

    When we’ve washed our cats we’ve just filled the bath up a bit with soapy water, got the cat in the bathroom, door closed and let the cat wander around all unsuspecting for a then scoop it up and drop it it the bath.

    our cat seems to be able to do that cartoon trick of spreading it’s legs so far that it’s impossible to get it into anything, it can also semi fly by wriggling through the air and if you try and, well, throw it, it just grabs your clothes and skin so you can’t get rid of it. All while biting.

    footflaps
    Full Member

    crikey
    Free Member

    Schrodinger didn’t know whether the cat in the box would be alive or dead, and used quantum to suggest that it could be considered both at the same time.

    If he’d put it in the bath, he would never have messed about with cats again…

    pedalhead
    Free Member

    This thread is why I love my dog 😉

    robinlaidlaw
    Free Member

    our cat seems to be able to do that cartoon trick of spreading it’s legs so far that it’s impossible to get it into anything, it can also semi fly by wriggling through the air and if you try and, well, throw it, it just grabs your clothes and skin so you can’t get rid of it. All while biting.

    Ah, ours only have the regular level cat ninja skills, they can bridge across the entrance to a cat carrier no problem, but a bath would be too much…

    molgrips
    Free Member

    For added youtube effect say JESUS CHRIST a lot and call your cat something middle class and poncey.

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    I thought I’d lost my sense of humour, seems it was locked away waiting for this thread.

    Thanks Lads.

    Houns
    Full Member

    Aww poor kitty! Please make sure it doesn’t lick itself

    When my two long haired ginger Toms were kittens they used to belt around the house chasing each other.

    One day they came thundering down the stairs, I felt the air move as they whizzed past me, Charlie, the larger fluffier one of the two, took a corner far too fast. Even with four paw drive he drifted and took out a candle burner thing that was lit………

    This was pretty much the result…….

    Needless to say I had to take him straight the vets to be shaved. Luckily he wasn’t burnt and was fine

    stgeorge
    Full Member

    Not a cat video but our son managed to cover himself in Sudocrem…..

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXnMaLbR-SE[/video]

    Coyote
    Free Member

    Cat Bathing as a Martial Art[/u]

    Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions!)

    Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

    Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.

    Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.

    Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun on the wildest 45 seconds of your life.

    Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He’ll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don’t expect too much.)

    Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out by this time. Drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That’s because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

    In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.

    You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn’t usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath.

    But at least now he smells a lot better.

    njee20
    Free Member

    Best thread in a long time, epic!

    ocrider
    Full Member

    This thread +pics= B3ta newsletter.
    Get a move on, OP, you’ve got 24 hours and counting!

    2bit
    Full Member

    Funniest thread in a long time – properly crying

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 162 total)

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