The cat is only small..its a kitten. It just kind of paddles about, claws in, using my legs as ladders to get at the tripping tap when it wants a drink.

Then after that it just sits on my chest, in 1-2cm of water happily until it’s time to get out.

Joe – that’s just WRONG.

Cat Bathing as a Martial Art

I was thinking of that tale, reading this. One of my earliest Internet memories, it actually dates back to the mid 80’s.

Oldy but still a goody.

earliest Internet memories, it actually dates back to the mid 80’s.

It were all JANET and MUD’s in them there days of yore.

It were all JANET and MUD’s in them there days of yore.

And PADs.

ketchup wins 🙂

Can you not use Sudocream as an alternative to chamois cream?

Nope, too thick and sticky. Although a layer of sudocrem followed by a layer of aquous cream seems to work really well.

Did anybody say “shave it” yet ?

Although a layer of sudocrem followed by a layer of aquous cream seems to work really well.

Minty arse lasagne.

Croque monsieur

Proper Lol here.

our cat seems to be able to do that cartoon trick of spreading it’s legs so far that it’s impossible to get it into anything,

completely the wrong psychology – if you want to get a cat into something you do it by trying to stop it from getting in there. It’ll then stop at nothing, absolutely nothing, to get in.

“Tears”

Thanks again.

Cruel, but effective.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3d0BdkRaqA&feature=youtu.be[/video]

FFS why would you do that to a cat 🙁

I’ll be honest…i think if i saw someone do that to a cat in a grooming shop i’d be really tempted to storm in and shove them in it and turn it to ‘roast’.

chuck it in the bin and get another

If you hid the bath on top of a cupboard, in a carbboard box, as far away from the expensive scratching post as possible, thae cat would love it.

How about just towelling the cat, lots I think warmth and agitation of the fur will remove the cream better than water and profanity.

Right. Back from the vets, my daughter has been fed, my parents have been Skyped and the clippered cat is still hiding under the bed. Perfect. Thanks to all initial posters for your help, I was at a loss.

I found the cat as per photo below, Sudocrem visible on head and back, not visible on stomach and hindquarters. The photo, regrettably, does not do justice to either the amount of product applied or how deeply it had been rubbed in. Getting meta, I understand this will prevent the thread from becoming a classic. Sorry.

First point, baby wipes will not remove Sudocrem from a relatively hairy cat, although on the bright side it’s easy to try. Second point, Fairy liquid won’t shift it either and you’ll be sorry you bothered. In brief, following the vet’s initial advice (and the baby wipe trial) I took the cat to the bathroom, shut myself in with her, lathered her up with Fairy liquid and then realised I couldn’t rinse her by myself due to being unable to hold both cat and showerhead (the kind that comes out of the bath faucet part on a long metal hose).

Fortunately, my daughter (age 3 and 5 months) was waiting outside the door and was only too keen to help. The cat made a few – and given the tales above, quite frankly pathetic – attempts to escape and then settled on plaintive mewing and urination as being the best way to pass the time. The water got much, but not all, of the Fairy liquid out of her coat, and none of the Sudocrem.

Wanting to calm the cat before completing the rinse, I asked my daughter to go and get the cat treats (little crunchy Whiskas things) from downstairs. She came back wearing her cycle helmet and waving her ’emergency’ Union Jack. This is a flag that she whips vigorously back and forth if a situation is deemed sufficiently dangerous. The situation in the bathroom became sufficiently dangerous and I now have holes in my Howies merino t 🙁

We managed to rinse the cat for a second time. The Sudocrem remained in situ, as did slightly more than trace amounts of Fairy liquid. I dried the cat as best I could (poorly) and phoned the vet again. She said that she wasn’t surprised the Fairy liquid hadn’t worked, but that she felt it had been worth a go. I disagreed. In my head. She suggested clippering and I agreed. I told her I’d head over as soon as possible and then discovered that I’d been calling not our vet (10 minutes down the road) but rather another practice some 20 minutes away. No wonder they didn’t have us on record.

Found cat carrier, washed cat carrier (had been left in out building and was coated in foulness), disinfected daughter (after she had helped with cleaning carrier), drove to vets, had cat clippered, came home, made dinner, blah blah blah.

Below is an (again poor and not showing the full extent of the carnage) photo of the clippered cat hiding under the bed.

Glad this has provided some amusement. For some reason this whole palava has made me feel even worse than has the Executive Time Management thread – I think I’m mid life crisising.

settled on plaintive mewing and urination as being the best way to pass the time.

😆

😆

Poor kitty, glad all is ok

Love the crash helmet and flag waving as a sign of impending doom.

Even more gawfaws..

Sorry but the comments to your situation have been some of the funniest on here in a very longtime.

How long before pussy trusts daughter again?

I give her about a year.

Glitchy bump

If Miss Markie is reading this, get pregnant, your Dad will soon forget all about it

Hth

Ooh, wrong thread

Jimmy Savile?

I’m crying 🙂 So is everyone else in the office 🙂 Thankyou STW you throw up some gems!

Fantastic thread. Thank you all. Really enjoyed it. Hope he cat isn’t too traumatised

If you were going to create a thread on putting Sudocrem onto a cat, then starting with one that was already half white was probably not a good idea in respect to taking dramatic photos.

What you need is another – darker – cat, a small child and a replacement pot of Sudocrem. 🙂

Ribs hurt. Please stop.

Classic stw gold! Been some great threads recently.

Missed the whole things, but a quality read.

Yep, excellent work chaps! I started reading it stuck in a traffic jam. My wife wasn’t chuffed when I sat down to read the rest as soon as I got in, but it was well worth it 🙂

Wanting to calm the cat before completing the rinse, I asked my daughter to go and get the cat treats (little crunchy Whiskas things) from downstairs. She came back wearing her cycle helmet and waving her ’emergency’ Union Jack.

Best bit. Still laughing at it.

Yep, I’ve been feeling crap all day and this thread, and in particular the helmet and the flag bit, have cheered me up no end!

Thank you very much!

i think this thread may actually be funnier than the oldie with the chap and tubeless goo and track pump. Brilliant STW gold. I love STW!

Our cat once jumped into a tub of paint, that led to immediate clipping. It was very very funny. 😀

Thread. Of. The. Year.