Moving to America…

I might have an opportunity to move to America for 2 to 3 years on secondment through work. It would be my wife, our 4 year old son and myself. It would be in upstate New York. We think our son is young enough that it would be a great experience for him without it really affecting schooling (as long as he doesn’t pick up an accent).

Have other people done similar and what were your experiences of it? Cheers

My sister moved to Connecticut with her American husband. Loves the area but not so much some aspects of the lifestyle and would come back given the right circumstances.

A family friend also moved out there and married. Seems very happy and settled. For a few years I would defo give it a go.

Few friends moved out for similar things. Overwhelmingly the work culture is very different, holiday is non existent and as my brother was told, nobody takes all their holiday. After that is healthcare included?

Cost of living somewhere nice can be pricy too.

I believe that I would retain UK holiday allowance and healthcare and accommodation would be provided so those shouldn’t be an issue (but may be dealbreakers if not!)

One of the mates had uk holiday allowance, he came back with a lot leftl..

If conditions are as you describe, OP, then I would strongly say ‘go for it’!

Travelling like that with children can be massively enriching for them and for you, and upstate New York is beautiful. Skiing, snowboarding, skating, camping, climbing, mountain biking… It’s all possible.

Plus, you are only a couple hours’ drive from some of the world’s most wonderful cities: e.g. Montreal, Boston, New York.

Obviously only you will know your own circumstances, but all being well, there is more to be gained than lost.

Yes, why not. A friend of mine’s family moved to USA, I think he was there for about five years, as he grew up as a kid. I think he did pick the accent a bit but soon lost it on moving back to the UK.

Go for it.

I’m considering moving back to Florida.

Try it you can always come back if you don’t like it.

Do it as a matter of principle – new places means new experiences. But bear in mind health insurance doesn’t mean you are always covered. Most insurance is limited. Also don’t get pregnant. It’ll cost you thousands and your wife is unlikely to enjoy the experience!

Although my wife points out your son would come back a year behind his peers in the UK as they start later in the US.

On the contrary if you have a kid out there they will have US citizenship which they may well find useful in their future (like my BiL but unfortunately not my wife).

Upstate New York can be very nice – real good quality of life. Just make sure it’s not Buffalo! Never got round to living in the US despite lots of offers – too many family complications – but with your family being young you should go for it.

Everyone is different. Personally it’d be a massive **** no. I can understand going to visit America – Yosemite etc would be cool.

Actually live and work there? Hell no. I’m sure I’ve understood that on average American workers take LESS THAN two weeks holiday per year & maternity pay is measured in weeks, not months.

If you want to take the family overseas, go somewhere with some semblance of family life and somewhere with a scrap of culture

Do it, if your wife gets pregnant my Sister in law is a Dr of giving birth (what are they called?) anyway she’s awesome. She will look after you.

I’d also say a massive yes to going and working there if the job offer is half-decent. I know lots of people who’ve done it, some have stayed long term and I can’t think of anyone who has said they wished they hadn’t gone. But that sort of applies to working abroad pretty much anywhere.

The state of New York is pretty good size, so exactly where upstate will be important.

if your wife gets pregnant my Sister in law is a Dr of giving birth (what are they called?) anyway she’s awesome. She will look after you.

Yeah and charge you about ten grand for it. Having a baby is not covered by medical insurance – it’s not an illness after all.

“ (as long as he doesn’t pick up an accent). “

My parents moved to Canada for 2 years when my siblings and I were aged between 7 and 13. We all had Canadian accents within a year.  Lost them fairly quickly when we moved back though.

My sisters were born one in Canada and one in San Francisco during an earlier period my parents worked in North America. This was valuable to them both as they were able to work for years in North America having dual nationality.

I got the short straw being born in Cumbernauld shortly after my parents returned to the UK

So I’d say go for it. Expect your 4 year old to pick up the local accent though.

My younger son lives in Rochester which is upstate NY and on edge of Lake Ontario; he loves it.

From what I’ve seen of it upstate New York and Connecticut is lovely although surprisingly the traffic can be a nightmare for what looks on the map like quite a rural area.

I believe that I would retain UK holiday allowance

But you probably won’t make yourself popular with your American colleagues if you take it all

You and your family are at the right age and if its for 2-3 years go for it. The US is a marvellous place…if you have money and your health

If you want to take the family overseas, go somewhere with some semblance of family life and somewhere with a scrap of culture

Well you’ve clearly not been to the US then, or at least only the touristy bits like Florida. I’ve been to West and east coast and know very closely a family who live in Las Vegas. From the TV And the strip you’d think it’d be madness to have a kid there but there’s a nice community feeling where they are.

Culture? Just cos it’s not European culture doesn’t mean it’s not there. It’s just different. The best art galleries I have been to in my whole life were in the USA, and I’ve been to a fair few.

Wow, some amazing misinformation in this thread, no doubt from people who read an article in the paper once…

we moved 3 years ago to western Massachusetts with our 4 and 1 year old boys, haven’t looked back but lots of lessons learned. Would be happy to discuss more by email if be can be of help to you making a decision, it’s in my profile

Wow, some amazing misinformation in this thread, no doubt from people who read an article in the paper once…

exactly.

Where will be key as some parts do feel a bit like being in the 1950s… I get 31 days holiday as per my us contract… I took 0 days last year though and also worked every Saturday. Year before I took it all though… healthcare is terrifying and you will be covered for less than you expect but Canada is not very far away…

you may never get the chance again so go for it. If it is shite come back early…

Technicalities of holidays, healthcare, location etc aside I’d say definitely do it. Speaking as a child of two parents who did almost exactly that in the 80’s (Philadelphia rather than upstate New York and I was 8 not 4) it was definitely one of the most positive experiences of my life in shaping me in my developmental years (looking back – at the time I’m sure I just missed friends & family loads). Of course you never know what type of person you’d of turned into if you didn’t do something, but I’m pretty sure it made me a more rounded & accepting person

if you or the family don’t like it, just come back

It would be in the Albany region.

@Tiboy – will drop you an email later, interested in the lessons learnt if there is anything we can avoid or make life easier!

Thanks

Wow, some amazing misinformation in this thread, no doubt from people who read an article in the paper once…

Which bits? Half my family is American.

I believe that I would retain UK holiday allowance and healthcare and accommodation would be provided so those shouldn’t be an issue (but may be dealbreakers if not!)

My wife’s American and the main reason we don’t live out there is the work culture and lack of time off, that and the general culture doesn’t suit us. But for 3 years, with UK holiday? Do it! Just make sure you take all those days off, and don’t put up with the inevitable griping your US colleagues will make about it.

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity. Go for it!

My brother in law and young family live in NY, and LOVE IT. Vermont is beautiful and Boston is great.

(but the kid will get one of those high pitched nasally whiny NY accents. Definitely.)

“I took 0 days last year though and also worked every Saturday.”

Jeez. I hope you get paid a lot of money.

This quote thing doesn’t get any easier.

Tough call.

As has been pointed out the kids will be behind a year at school if/when you return unless you can address that.

I work for a US company with “UK holiday entitlement”… I can theoretically take my holidays but it affects my “performance metrics” not to mention I simply can’t, if I’m expected to be working somewhere on a date then I’m expected to be working.  I can theoretically play by the rules/law but it wouldn’t go down well.

Last year I had 22 days and lost 15 … in addition I worked most bank holiday’s (including XMAS day where I got 4 hours off)

Of course your company might be different but it’s worth finding out what happens in practice vs what is promised.

Wow, some amazing misinformation in this thread, no doubt from people who read an article in the paper once…

Seems to go both way’s.  My ex (we were in Paris) was born in NY and her Maternal Gran lived in NYS.  (Her paternal family were from all over)

She used to get packages sent with Hamburger helper and toilet roll etc. as her gran firmly believed these things were not available in Europe.

My sister and husband moved to New Jersey about 14 years ago. They’re still there, took a one-year old with them, had another kid over there.

All US citizens now, no plans for coming back. Kids have whiney US-kid accents.

My sister seems to live the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” lifestyle.

I think that if you get decent healthcare and salary it’ll be great.

Also make sure you don’t end up with a 2 hour traffic jam commute from hell 🙂

Also consider the MTBing.  There’s no right of way network like there is here.  So you can only MTB in areas where it’s allowed like state parks or national forests etc.  If you aren’t near one of those, then you basically can’t MTB.

Also some areas get into a massive hissy fit if you dare to ride a damp trail and thus ruin it for everyone by leaving ruts (so they claim).

Anyway, work life balance is a big downside. Though everything is for the weekend. Been to US loads but mostly skiing and the majority don’t go on week long ski trips, they do weekends at a ski resort.

Health care is going to be very expensive. Can’t walk into anywhere and expect treatment without handing over a credit card or insurance details. Need more serious treatment and you could find your insurance doesn’t cover it and you’re selling up your house to pay for it. Though the same could be said of the NHS for things they won’t cover.

The upside is you’ll likely have a huge house and massive car(s) (and petrol is stupidly cheap).

There’s plenty of culture. It’s just different. Also, a lot of great scenery on offer.

And from the other US related thread at the moment, get your kids guns for school 😉

The more I go to America, the more European I feel.

Had the chance on multiple occasions, mainly California. The education system, and close family ties with some poorly members have held me back, but am still considering options now the children have finished school.

I’d say try it. The five hour time difference is not so bad for family, upstate NY will be lovely, but cold. It’s an interesting time politically, but same here. Be back in time for secondary education. My manager emigrated with her kids, both of which were sent to UK boarding school and attend UK universities. She’s still there.

I don’t regret not going, but every family situation is different.

After watching Breaking Bad I quite fancy Albuquerque, I’d say go for it.

If they don’t take holidays when do they play with the garage full of toys that every American* seams to have!?

*in the movies at least 🙂

It sounds like you will travel somewhere new and exciting but have no time to experience it or be with your family.

If they don’t take holidays when do they play with the garage full of toys that every American* seams to have!?

They really do (at least, far higher prevalence than here) they just play with them at weekends.

Anyway, work life balance is a big downside.

That’s the reason we don’t live there.

I’m sure I couldn’t cope with no holidays. I’m planning on 6 weeks this year.