Well I can enjoy some schadefreuden with thestabilisers post.

Pretty useless at getting money. Early 40s and only just got past minimum wage factory work nearly two years ago. Still not paying back any student loan (art) from 2001, but so much happier not needing to constantly resist walking out. Now in a job which uses some of the skills I learnt through life long hobby with computers/code/etc.

By the average person’s standards, I earn plenty.

Against my peers in the law firms I worked in, I’m now way off. But I’m not expected to work 16 hours a day in a soul crushing job.

Like others my issue is expenditure: too much of it!

I run a small LBS.

What do you think?

To achieve the best you can, be prepared to fail. Something many aren’t comfortable with.

But that’s the point, I, and many like me, don’t want to achieve anything. I have no goals and no ambitions beyond remaining healthy and having a happy and healthy wife and kids. I’m sure my education could secure me an OK job but I have no desire to work any more than I do.

I don’t want to be promoted, earn £X, drive a flash car, go on nice holidays, blah blah blah. I don’t measure my success against the success of others, I couldn’t give a toss how ‘successful’ anyone is, good for them, it’s definitely not for me. I’m happy just meandering along in life with the minimal of stress, living each day at a time rather than getting through it and looking forward to the weekends or the next payday. Luckily I have an understanding wife who accepts what I’m like. Each day is great.

I always think I’m pretty crap with cash, and then I look at others and realise that most folk are even ‘crapper’.

My wallet has the cash equivalent of a ruptured femoral artery. Vet bills, new flat roof, car needs 3 new tyres etc

To achieve the best you can, be prepared to fail.

Surely it’s better just to be happy with what you have?

I don’t like doing anything for money. It cheapens it somehow and I put less effort in. It’s not a great mindset to have when you live in a capitalist society I’ll grant you.

Lack self confidence so get in a rubbish job, then feel trapped and end up staying way too long, then looking for next job I apply for lower and lower end jobs, not believing in my abilities or aptitude and don’t think anyone is going to see anything employable in me. Can’t afford to be without a job, got a mortgage to pay for and a deteriorating disabled dependent mother who lives with me.

So I’ve gone from being a software engineer in processes control systems, to a school lab technician, to a vehicle technician/MoT tester, currently looking for somewhere else.

Apart from a summer selling speed in the early 90’s I’ve always made it the the slow and painful way. Thankfully I’m a proper tight bugger and bought a house at 24.
45 now with a 5yr old boy and loving wife and happy as a pig in shit.
03 van, 53 stilo, 26″ wheels, etc.. And self employed, I think this helps.

i do ok. bit of buying and selling.
but 1 thing i was told by a bloke years ago, has always stuck with me.
money is only any good when it is being spent, so spend it…move on and earn some more.

ton – Member

money is only any good when it is being spent, so spend it…move on and earn some more.

Something I read today… You don’t look up to someone who has 50 cats, or who has a house jammed full of old newspapers, so why are we supposed to look up to someone who’s obsessed with gathering more money than they need?

make good sense to me that Northwind.

Something I read today… You don’t look up to someone who has 50 cats, or who has a house jammed full of old newspapers, so why are we supposed to look up to someone who’s obsessed with gathering more money than they need?

Because we’re getting unbelievably stupid.

..and 50 cats is just ridiculous. 40, tops.

money is only any good when it is being spent, so spend it…move on and earn some more.

Not sure about that.

The only value I have for money is to not have to worry about it. So the financial security of having some savings is more important to me than a big telly/nice car etc.

As a freelance, I work enough to pay rent/bills and then do stuff I enjoy.

Not sure about that.

so what are you saving for? in what way can it make you feel secure?

Should never have sold my first house, 14 years ago had the chance to do a buy to let back then and bottled it. Should have up sized my house many times. However at 40, the next 5 years are going to be make or break for me and mine financially and work wise.

money is only any good when it is being spent, so spend it…move on and earn some more

this is how mrs fong sees it – the way I see it is –

I came into this world with nothing and I still have most of it left 😐

so what are you saving for? in what way can it make you feel secure?

Because as a freelance, it means I can work without fear.

I can do things on my own terms. If I don’t want to do something or I don’t think something is worth doing – then I don’t have to do it.

Without some savings, it’s hard to do that because you’re always scrabbling to pay rent/bills etc.

Wow. You’re amazing!

Who? Copa?

Bit harsh. I get what copa means. Wish I had the balls to go freelance, but I pick flexible working/pension/regular income. I value that.

In his shoes I’d value pound coins just as much.

Edit: Just realised I’ve probably contributed to this going way OT. Sorry 😐

Without some savings, it’s hard to do that because you’re always scrabbling to pay rent/bills etc.

in 34 years as a working man, i have never had to scrabble money together to pay bill. money is easily earned, i will and have done all sorts of shit jobs to earn a crust…but always happily.

people set their targets and lifestyles too high, and get dragged into jobs that they hate. lower you targets a bit and become a happier man, not a slave to the £

About 4 years ago, I’m in my early 50’s now, I realised that I needed to accept the reality of my relationship with money if I wanted to gain some inner peace. Being self employed for the previous 12 years also meant I created a feast and famine scenario. A particularly lucrative project would generally result with me not taking work too seriously until I had to.

I place very little value to money, yet I used to fret about not having enough or existing hand to mouth, month in month out. I have previously had jobs that paid me exceptionally well and I was equally exceptional at spending whatever my employers gave me.

The way I have altered my relationship with money is down to many things. Primarily, recognising that I have two working legs, arms, eyes, I am healthy, loved and loving, to name a few.

Gratitude and thanks for what I have, not what I have not. I feel happier nowadays than I have been since my late teens.

Sounds trite?

Then you and I are different. Neither of us better, or more right, just different.

My Dad died alone, super-tight, miserable, bitter and selfish and lay undiscovered for almost a week. He was very rich. Guess how much joy his money brought him?

I know of someone who looks like they are going the same way.

It ain’t me. I’m living, loving and enjoying whatever I have. I’d rather be able to afford one happy pint in a pub than sit there knowing I could afford 10 but won’t as it’d involve losing that money as soon as I’ve drunk them.

The problem for me is not being able to afford nice bikes / cars / clothes but housing costs. I’d like a house with some more land than a 14′ wide strip, but even in mid Wales I’d struggle. (Nothing against mid Wales BTW, just a bit too hard to get anywhere).

Something I read today… You don’t look up to someone who has 50 cats, or who has a house jammed full of old newspapers, so why are we supposed to look up to someone who’s obsessed with gathering more money than they need?

Wealth is a status symbol

50 cats or 50 years worth of newspapers is a sign of a mental disorder

Neither is necessarily a good thing, but they’re not really comparable

Edit: Just realised I’ve probably contributed to this going way OT. Sorry

How do you feel about Giraffes?

I’ve never really got it, I keep on working with organisations with no opportunities for progression and at present I am the poorest I’ve been in my adult life. Strangely despite the evidence and my advancing years I remain optimistic for the future.

I like Giraffes.

Another one here in the “fairly capable, doing OK, could do a lot better but just CBA with it” camp

Thats me. If I was half as good at marching into the bosses office and demanding a promotion as I am at demanding a demotion I would be minted by now!!

Pretty good at making decent amounts of money.

Terrible at saving it, despite having reasonably humble material possessions – more of a lifestyle failing

I like Giraffes

They go very well with prawns. Surf and turf style.

Jools182 – Member
Early 40’s and still not making enough to pay off my student loan. I’m below the threshold 20 years later

Snap. I work very hard teaching a practical subject, stay late most days designing and making things, always creating, lots of shed building, but never been business minded unfortunately, unlike many of my university contemporaries.

When I do work for people I seem to almost feel ashamed to ask for money for some reason.

I do get frustrated at the difference in recompense in practical careers compared to others. Or at least it seems there is a noticeable difference.

I’m lucky in that I get to use work facilities to satiate my creative thirst, but I suspect I could earn or could have earned substantially more elsewhere.

Meh…

I’ve mad bad choices but that’s life.
Turned down a job at school as I wanted to do a levels my mate took the job and is now doing very well.
Had the chance to relocate with two companies both times declined which would have lead to more money and one a nicer place to live.
Just got a job offer after 2 years of scratching around with an occasional part time job and some self employed work.
The job is minimum wage, but in an area that interests me, years ago the light bulb came on an I realised money is not a motivator for me, I’m still going to be able to do the school runs be with the kids a fair bit during the holidays and fit in my voluntary work, which means a lot to me.

Well done OP this is one of the most refreshing posts I have read. I was having an interesting conversation with a very successful theater/opera set designer in my holidays last year. He had a theory, and it was to do with class. Because he was from a very established middle class family and he had a friend from a working class background who just never really made any money despite being quite talented. He thought it was simply down to self worth, in monetary terms. He was brought up to expect to succeed and that the things he did were worth something. Where as his friend wasn’t. He has a view of the world, from his background, where things work and people achieve, i.e. he has always seen relative success. His friend had always seen relative failure. He took more risks than his friend, knowing it would be ok. I am not saying it is entirely true and entirely due to class, but I thought it was interesting.

Because he was from a very established middle class family and he had a friend from a working class background who just never really made any money despite being quite talented. He thought it was simply down to self worth, in monetary terms. He was brought up to expect to succeed and that the things he did were worth something. Where as his friend wasn’t.

Good cartoon on that subject:

This Brilliant Comic Strip On Rich Vs Poor Upbringing Will Humble You

I fall into this group. Paid too much for a house we liked even during the very peak of market, sold in biggest slump. Was on a fixed rate mortgage when rates plummeted so didn’t benefit from low interest rates. Lost far too much money on several second hand cars too.

I also don’t get paid as much as colleagues due to not selling myself and making a big noise about the stuff I do.

But then, I am as tight as a ducks %£$”. You’d think if I did the first stuff better, I wouldn’t need to be so tight 😳

I think the cartoon is over simplified (as these cartoons always are) but I think the general idea of how you value your self is true. Some people are confident to charge there self employed rate at £500 per days other feel bad at £100.

I’m definatly in the second camp.

Also everyone needs a lucky break of a good introdcution of out of two simalr jobs one will teach you a really usful skill that will allow you to do well freelance in the future, another will only make you good at yourjob for the company you work for and allow less trasferable skills. Fallen into that trap to. Hindsite is a wonderful thing.