I would find whoever came up with those incredibly annoying Vodafone adverts with people saying, "If I ruled the world…"and I would kill them. Until they were quite, quite dead.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

I thought you did CF 😯

I'd ban toilet paper on Sundays

T mobile adverts are much much worse.

I have not even been subjected to them on the tellybox, only on bus shelters, yet I agree.

For my part, I would ban the practice of referring to a van containing two workmen as a "unit". Most egregious example fo this observed so far was a large van containing two policement in wraparound shades and body armour which was marked "Mobile Community Reassurance Unit", but Transport for London's Incident Response Units, by which they mean a man in a van who comes out and tinkers with broken down buses is a close second. 🙂

Olly, good point, they're on the list as well.

.. I'd ban mowing the lawn, or washing the car on sundays, BBQ's in tower block balconeys and flushing the toilet past 10:00pm

no wait, I live in switzerland we already have those things.

.. I'd ban mowing the lawn, or washing the car on sundays, BBQ's in tower block balconeys and flushing the toilet past 10:00pm

no wait, I live in switzerland we already have those things.

Please tell me that's a joke…?

no.. no joke… the toilet thing is the rule if you live in a tower block.. which I dont so I can flush any ole time I feel like it.

I'd ban the term the current phrase of choice – 'rocked up' as in Zak 'rocked up' at my house.
Did he turn up on a rock?
Have some sort of balance impairment?
A mental disposition that makes him sway a bit?
Got out his crack pipe?
Or did he just turn up in the same way that he always did, but you're trying to make a relatively banal everyday occurrence of a person arriving sound my vibrant and happening?

It's an order of magnitude better than chillax, but still somewhere on the same Nathan Barley twatspeak scale 🙂

Time of the month IanMunro?

Just haven't taken my chillax pill today 🙂

PeterPoddy – Member

.. I'd ban mowing the lawn, or washing the car on sundays, BBQ's in tower block balconeys and flushing the toilet past 10:00pm

no wait, I live in switzerland we already have those things.

Please tell me that's a joke…?

I'll tell ya something else.. but ya gotta promise not to tell anyone.. ya nevah know who's listening.. when I first moved here I lived in an apartment block and the last night living there I flushed twice at pretty near 11:oopm

shhh…

Small wars have been started in Switzerland for less

What would you do if someone rocked up at your house, rocking some rocks that they got from selling rock?

i'd…. make it sunny all day, rainy at night – everywhere.

sorry, that's not 'on-thread' is it? 😉

Ok then,

if folk leave the UK for a 'better life' then they leave for that better life, whatever it brings…. no popping back to just 'nip in and use the NHS' for example…….

What would you do if someone rocked up at your house, rocking some rocks that they got from selling rock?

I'd smash their skull in with one of the rocks, then bury their body under the remainder.

I'd unban RudeBoy

Good answer IanMunro.

Rudeboy never said "rocking". He used to talk like a 5 year old who had just been watching Last of the Summer Wine.

Whats the scoop with RB <Mods>? Enormous gob on the lad but surely a month is long enough on the naughty step, no?

It wasn't like he enough chances to take a chillax pill mcboo. Doubtless he'll turn up sooner or later, start quiet, gradually get louder and louder until: Pop! off he goes again….

ach lifes too short.

If I ruled the world some of you would be very unhappy 🙂

It wasn't like he enough chances to take a chillax pill mcboo. Doubtless he'll turn up sooner or later, start quiet, gradually get louder and louder until: Pop! off he goes again….

As far as I know he has an IP ban, so just joining under another name won't be quite as easy.

Thank ****.

Order of Magnitude.

Ask anybody who says it to define what it means. Twice? Ten times? To the power of 10?

No. They never know what it means.

Neither do I.

So how did you expect it to clarify anything?

If I ruled the world I'd have my sights on more than bans.

Ask anybody who says it to define what it means. Twice? Ten times? To the power of 10?

x10 assuming that you're using base 10 numbers to measure the thing with in the first place.

/edit
Or to be more generic anything where you have to add an extra digit, or change the measurement suffix.

So chillax ~= 5 KTw (Kilo ****) on the NB twatometer scale
and 'rock up' is about 80 Tw

Shouldn't that be when, not if…

😆

Shouldn't that be when, not if…

Thankfully not, not even close…never…I'd move to the moon if it was

DD, lol, good one, and very topical.

Still, they keep telling me its my turn next week.

🙂

Solo.

So 2 orders of magnitude… is that 20 or 100?

100. But 5 orders of magnitude is also referred to as AWESOMELY HUGE.

To 'chillax' and 'rock up' i'd like to add 'simples'. I've never understood the belief that sounding like an advert was a good thing.

But sounding like a meerkat is excellent. Simples. 😀

IIRTW there'd be champagne, for everybody; and TV would show nothing but abridged episodes of Dempsey and Makepeace where all we'd see is Makepeace in all her 1980's blonde and bobbed glory; and happy hardcore would be played at a volume of some magnitude in soundproofed metal containers occupied solely by 'the wrong sort'; and Range Rover Sports would be mandatorily crushed (whilst their owners/drivers were still inside); and the British Isles would be signed up to a system of stable weather patterns which allowed us to plan holidays/outdoor activities/wardrobe contents ad so on without the hassle of getting rained off.
That's just for starters…

I wish to add someone to my list of those to suffer a grievous death…

Anyone who was in any way involved with the BT Broadband "can we make a couple more annoying than that gold Blend one?" adverts…..! AAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

I'd attach fat peoples TVs to turbo trainers.

Hours turboed = Hours of TV

It would save the NHS millions.

I'd ban banning things
Apart from "taking it to the next level" – that would have to go

..however, Audi and BMW show rooms would be staffed by maneating kittens, which would cripple then kill by licking with rough raspy toungues anyone who wants to buy one of those indicatorless kn0b transporters.